ALARM CLOCK RINGS
That will make you think.
Stay there!
SHE GASPS
THUNDER RUMBLES
Thank you.
May I walk with you?
Fine.
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
ALL: Good morning, sir!
We have a visitor...this morning.
Er... Your coat.
Have a seat there.
I am afraid there was a slight mishap on the way here.
I think the corrections will still be legible.
Max, would you do the honours?
More work required there.
No opportunity to honour and respect yourself.
But Marcus Aurelius was both philosopher and an emperor.
There's no coincidence, that was the way with the Romans.
Thought and action were all one.
I think we were chapter 12, page 42.
Er... Natalie, perhaps you'd...begin?
"How can it be that the Gods...
"overlooked this alone
"that some lost men...
"and those very good men,
"who have had the most...?"
"Intercourse with the divine."
Uh, just keep on going.
"If it is so that we live only a small part of the life
"that is within us, what happens to the rest?"
Ah, Mr Gregorius.
I am afraid your book on Persian grammar has yet to arrive.
Uh, no, that's not why I came...
Do you know that book?
Indeed. I sold it to someone yesterday.
A woman?
Yes. She came in, asked for the Portuguese section,
found this book, sat there,
read it for an hour or so then became rather upset,
paid for the book and left.
How did you come by?
I found it.
Beautiful title.
"Um Ourives Das Palavras"
"A Goldsmith Of Words."
Train tickets.
Where to? Lisbon, eventually.
Leaving in 15 minutes.
Thank you. She was wearing that coat!
OVER TANNOY: Attention please.
Line ten on platform eight is now leaving...
What is all this noise?
Where is Mr Gregorius? He left, Mr Kagi.
He left?
There was a woman with him here. LAUGHTER
Impossible.
PHONE RINGS
"We live here and now.
"Everything before and in other places is past,"
"mostly forgotten." PHONE RINGS
Hello. This is Mr Kagi. Where are you?
I'm on a train. A train?
Where to? Lisbon.
(Would you take care of my books? I left them on my desk.)
"What could, what should be done...
"with all the time that lies ahead of us,
"open and unshaped,
"feather-light in its freedom
"and lead-heavy in its uncertainty?
"Is it a wish?"
"Dream-like and nostalgic,
"to stand once again at that point in life..."
"and be able to take a completely different direction
"to the one that has made us who we are?"
CAR HORN BLARES
CHATTER
DOG BARKS
HE SPEAKS PORTUGESE Do you have a room?
Where is your luggage? I don't have any. Ah.
I will trust you and give you a room...
..with a view of the sea.
There, the sea.
Anything else, sir? Yes
I want to find the address of the man who wrote this.
Thank you.
Anything else? No, thank you.
Good morning, I am looking for Amadeu de Prado.
One moment.
I believe you are looking for my brother?
Yes. Is the doctor in?
Are you ill?
No, I'm... I am reading this book.
I'd very much like to meet him.
What he writes touches me very deeply.
You should come inside.
You may sit.
Some tea? Red Assam is Amadeu's preference.
Thank you.
SHE RINGS BELL
Tea, Clotilde.
This is Amadeu's favourite room.
It's a beautiful room.
He has read every one of those books.
Does he still practice as a doctor?
Where did you get it?
I came across it in Bern, where I live.
Only 100 were ever printed.
I have six copies left.
I often wondered where the other 94 went.
Bern is in Switzerland, is it not? Yes.
And the book has travelled? That is a good thing.
Has he written anything else? Nothing that has been published.
He wanted to be a writer, a philosopher...
..then he decided to become a doctor.
He didn't believe people should be in pain.
Is that him? That is our father.
He was a famous judge. So I gather, from the book.
He and Amadeu had a rather complicated relationship.
"Consider from the standpoint of eternity,
"that rather loses its significance."
Yes.
He often said that to Amadeu. Amadeu does not believe in eternity.
Unfortunately not.
I don't mean to pry, but...
..may I ask how your father died?
No. No, you may not.
(If you want to see Amadeu...you will find him in Cemetery Prazeres.)
MAN'S VOICE: "We leave something of ourselves behind
"when we leave a place.
"We stay there, even though we go away.
"And there are things in us
"that we can find again only by going back there.
"We travel to our souls when we go to a place
"that we have covered a stretch of our life...
"..no matter how brief it may have been.
"But by travelling to ourselves, we must confront our own loneliness.
"And isn't it so that everything we do
"is done out of fear of loneliness?
"Isn't that why we renounce
"all the things we will regret at the end of our life?"
Excuse me. I am looking for Amadeu de Almeida Prado.
Prado. Thank you.
"When dictatorship is a fact, revolution is a duty."
HE SCREAMS
Bloody idiot!
HE GROANS
"Is it ultimately a question of self-image,
"the determining idea one has made for oneself
"of what one has to have accomplished and experienced
"so that one can approve of the life one has lived?"
"If this is the case,
"the fear of death might be described
"as the fear of not being able to become whom one planned to be.
"If the certainty befalls us that it will
"never be achieved, this wholeness,
"we suddenly don't know how to live the time
"that can no longer be part of a whole life."
Better?
Or worse?
Better.
You feel as if you wrote the book yourself.
I would have liked to have done.
He talks about everything that's preoccupied me for years.
Better or worse?
Worse.
Tell me one of these beautiful sentences you read.
"The real director of life is accident,
"a director full of cruelty,
"compassion and bewitching charm."
By accident, he means fate?
No, I think he means chance, randomness chance.
Let's take a break, rest your eyes for a moment.
You are a man who does not sleep well.
You can tell? The eyes reveal everything.
Look at these eyes.
Tell me what they reveal.
They're melancholic, but hopeful.
Tired, but persistent.
Contradictory.
Why would his sister pretend that he was still alive?
I have no idea. Shall we resume?
Oh.
So you met a woman in a red coat, who disappeared,
and you just dropped everything? Then I read the book.
I would love to be able to do that, just drop everything.
You do that often? No, I've never done anything like that before.
Better or worse?
Uh, better.
How does that feel?
You talk about seeing as feeling.
Well, isn't it? I suppose it is.
How clear is it - the image? Very clear.
And how about this?
Everything is in focus.
Sir, we have this new one here.
"The decisive moment of life,
"when its direction changes forever,
"are not always marked by loud and shrill dramatics.
"In truth, the dramatic moments of a life-determining experience
"are often unbelievably low-key."
"When it unfolds, its revolutionary effect
"and ensures that a life is revealed in a brand-new light,
"it does that silently.
"And in this wonderful silence resides its special nobility."
Now you wonder if the old pair were better.
Yes. But they are not, are they?
No. They feel very light.
Getting used to them will take some time.
Do you take credit cards?
You can sort all that out with my receptionist.
Before you go...
I have an uncle.
He lives in a nursing home across the Tejo.
I called him last night and told him about you and the book.
He knew Amadeu de Prado well.
I told him you want to know about Amadeu
and he said he'd talk to you.
He was in the resistance.
I must warn you, my uncle can be difficult.
In what way?
The generation that lived under the dictator Salazar
is still battling to come to terms with what happened.
When the resistance began, the secret police were extremely brutal.
To this day, people don't like talking about it,
the perpetrators as well as their victims.
Uncle Joao, how are you?
What are you doing here?
This is the man I was telling you about, Raimund Gregorius -
I brought him. I said I'd talk to him, not you.
But... You can wait in reception.
We go to the lounge.
So, you are interested in Amadeu de Prado?
Yes.
Mariana tells me you have a book he wrote.
Would you like to see it? No.
I can imagine what it is like.
The godless priest.
That's a good description.
He was the only visitor they allowed me in prison.
'Every week he visits,
'with books and medicines, and cigarettes...
'which, of course, they take away the moment he leaves.'
Yeah, he had privileges.
What sort of privileges? The kind you don't want in life.
Do you have cigarette? No, sorry, I don't smoke.
Pity.
Mariana tells me that you and Amadeu were in the resistance.
And Jorge, his best friend. Oh, yes, he writes a lot about Jorge.
They were joined at the heart and the soul...
for a time.
But Amadeu, he was too soft for the resistance.
He only joined because he feel guilty.
Mariana tells me you are from Switzerland.
Yes, Bern.
There was never a revolution in Switzerland, was there?
No. Somehow they've always managed to avoid such things.
They won't know what it's like to live without trusting,
never to trust your friends or family.
I met his sister, Adriana.
She... She acts as if he is still alive
and she wears black, as is if in mourning.
You can only fill my cup halfway.
No-one has ever done that for me before.
Yeah... HE CHUCKLES
A gift from PIDE, the Portuguese Secret Police.
Rui Lus Mendes was his name.
1973...
in the springtime.
I'm home.
Who are you?
Where's my wife?
She kindly took your children for a walk.
This woman that knows all the names,
where do I find her?
I do not know.
I do not know what you are talking about.
Your wife tells me you are an excellent pianist.
Will you play for me...and my friends?
Please.
Can I see you hands, please?
What should I play? Play us your favourite.
HE PLAYS PIANO
They say she has a photographic memory.
Is that true?
HE GROANS
I ask you once more, where is she?
HE GROANS
HE SCREAMS
What made it all that more terrible
was that someone said,
"Amadeu, he saved Mendes' life."
BELL RINGS
Dinnertime. They-they serve us early here, like in prison.
Not for the inmates, you understand, but for the staff.
I'm glad he's finally been able to tell someone about it.
I just wish it had been me.
It is often easier to speak to a stranger.
With my family, it's a bit different.
Pain is something we pretend happens to other people.
When Uncle Joao disappeared,
our parents told us he had gone to Brazil to work.
Then, after the Revolution, when he was released,
they told us he'd had an accident with his hands.
He is very fond of you. He is?
He said you are the only one from the family who ever visits.
He is always so grumpy, I don't blame the others.
What else did he say? He said he wished you were married.
SHE GASPS I hate him!
Then, when you visited, there'd be children.
He actually said that? That he's fond of me?
Do you have children?
No. I have my students...
but the faces change every year, so I try not to get too fond of them.
I think now you are staying another day.
Yes, I might have to.
Nice glasses.
Father Bartolomeu?
Yes.
Joao Eca tells me that you buried Amadeu de Prado.
I would prefer to be remembered at the man who taught Amadeu,
not the one who buried him.
Amadeu was 12 years old when he first came to the school.
He came with no bag, no books.
He had read them all, you see.
Everything was in his head.
What does he say about the school in his book?
"For 1,922 days,
"I attended the Liceu, where my Father sent me,
"the strictest school in the whole country.
"By the third day I, realised I had to count the days
"so as not to be crushed by it."
He hated it that much?
Were Jorge and Amadeu in the same class?
Uh, no, not at first.
Amadeu skipped two grades.
He was that bright, you see.
And for two years, they were in the same class.
Or I should say, they were in a class of their own.
Amadeu, the aristocrat,
and Jorge, the working class boy.
They had a very noted curiosity, those two.
They would lie to their mothers
that they were going to spend the night at a friend's house.
Instead, they came here.
How did you find them, Jorge?
I was sleeping here, then I found the floor was loose.
Jean-Paul Sartre. Karl Marx.
Henry Miller.
My God, if we found these books...
We would end up in Tarrafal,
along with all the other political prisoners.
But your father would never allow that, would he, Amadeu?
He would get Grand Minister Salazar personally intervene
and have the case thrown out of court.
You think it is a joke my father is a judge?
I think it is a joke that the son of a green grocer
is friends with the son of a judge. That is funny.
HE LAUGHS
You have to admit!
Amadeu would have been unhappy wherever he was.
He never played games with the other boys.
He never let himself go...
..except one time.
Nobody forgot that time.
Make room there, boys. Make room.
My father is here. Of course he's here. What did you expect?
You should read this, Jorge. You wrote most of them anyway.
They are your words - I only helped you choose them.
Amadeu, which is our religion? Loyalty.
What are our values?
Truth...above all else.
Exactly. Just keep your eyes on me and you'll be fine.
As is traditional,
we end our ceremony with a grade 12's graduation speech.
In this year, that honour will be bestow
to Amadeu de Almeida Prado.
APPLAUSE
I would not like to live in a world without cathedrals.
I need their beauty and grandeur
against the dirty colours of military uniforms.
I love the powerful words of the Bible.
I need the force of its poetry.
I need it against the decay of language
and the dictatorship of worthless slogans.
But there is another world I do not wish to live in...
..a world in which independent thinking is disparaged
and the finest things we can experience denounced as sin.
A world in which our love
is demanded by tyrants, oppressors and assassins.
And, most absurdly, people are exhorted from the pulpit
to forgive these creatures and even to love them.
It is for this reason we cannot just put the Bible aside -
we have to throw it away completely -
for it speaks only of a vain, holier-than-thou God.
In his omnipresence, the Lord observes us, day and night.
He takes note of our acts and thoughts,
but what is a man without secrets?
Without thoughts and wishes that he, and he alone, knows?
Does the Lord our God not consider
He's stealing our soul with his unbridled curiosity,
a soul that should be immortal?
But who would, in all seriousness, want to be immortal?
How boring to know that what happens today,
this month, this year, does not matter?
Nothing would count.
No-one here knows what it would be like to live eternally
and it's a blessing we never will.
One thing I can assure you,
it would be hell, this endless paradise of immortality.
It is death and only death that gives each moment beauty and horror.
Only through death is time a living thing.
Why does the Lord not know this?
Why does He threaten us with an...endlessness
that can only be unbearably desolate?
I would not want to live in a world without cathedrals.
I need the lustre of their windows...
their cool stillness, their imperious silence.
I need the holiness of words, the grandeur of great poetry,
but just as much I need the freedom
to rebel against everything that is cruel in this world,
for the one is nothing without the other.
And no-one may force me to choose.
APPLAUSE
What did you think?
I thought you would deliver a speech in Latin.
But then only a very few would have understood it.
Are you friends with that boy?
We are the best of friends.
All of those faces, and more...
..came to his funeral.
He died on the day of the Revolution...
..and so they all brought red carnations.
I dare not speak any words about God
after what Amadeu called "His empty promises",
but I did allow myself one religious word.
Amen.
ALL: Amen.
I was very proud of him.
Then why did you never tell him, Papa?
To this day, I never found out what secret bound those two together
and what it had to do with Amadeu.
My brother is not here. I know.
Go away. I know what happened - he had an aneurysm.
It's in the book.
How do you live with that?
Knowing, at any time, blood vessel could burst,
flooding your brain with blood?
I only found out after, when I discovered his writings.
He never told anyone...
..not even me.
I am sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.
No, wait.
Let me show you where we worked.
People came, day and night...
..to see him...
..to be healed.
No-one should be in pain, he always used to say.
The door was always open.
I met Joao Eca.
He mentioned that Amadeu was in the resistance...
(Ha. The resistance.)
And that he saved Mendes' life.
It was late in the evening.
There were terrible shouts...
..across the square.
SHOUTING
CAR HORN BLARES The Police!
We need help!
Get the doctor.
In there!
Amadeu, you need to come, now.
Is this...?
Out. Out!
Adriana.
SHOUTING OUTSIDE
You're a traitor. Traitor!
Traitor.
You are a traitor! I'm a doctor.
ALL: You're a traitor!
You hear me? A doctor!
ALL: You are a traitor!
We sat him down in this very chair and washed his face.
His beautiful face.
After that, people stopped coming...even Jorge.
That really hurt him.
Do you know of Jorge?
I know they were great friends.
Why is the world so cruel? I often ask myself that.
It is if it doesn't care. God doesn't care.
Amadeu was right about that.
I would like to be alone now.
May I call on you again? Why?
His life, his world, was...
..extraordinary. Makes mine seem so insignificant.
Do you have cigarettes? Which brand? Um...
You brought them?
No, wait, wait.
Everyone here is a spy - worse than the damn fascists.
We go outside.
You didn't telephone me just to get cigarettes.
I called because...
talking to you makes me sleep better last night.
Amadeu, he never smoked -
he's the only one who didn't.
Jorge, he smoked like a chimney.
Jorge...is he still alive? I don't know.
I never talked to him after what happened with Estefania.
No-one knew how to.
It was too personal.
Who is Estefania?
The woman who remembered everything.
That's why they picked me up, to get to her.
Lieutenant Nicholas Ribeiro.
Benfica. 28 December.
Telephone, 857-2463.
7th Article.
Captain Carlos Peixe.
Sintra, 47 Rua... CAR APPROACHES
Sh!
KNOCK ON DOOR Jorge!
Is that Amadeu de Prado? Jorge!
Are you in there? Let him in. KNOCKING CONTINUES
Why have you been avoiding me?
Everyone else I can understand, but you?
I am not avoiding you.
You are lying, Jorge. We do not lie to each other! Shh!
I want to join the resistance.
Because of guilt?
As a doctor, I had no choice.
As a doctor, you should have injected poison into his heart,
not adrenaline.
Sit, Amadeu.
Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?
This is Joao.
And this is Estefania.
I was going to introduce you sooner, but...
The resistance keeps us busy.
Isn't she beautiful?
What if you first assignment was to kill your father?
Why? Because he is a judge...
..part of the fascist regime.
Don't be upset, Amadeu. I was just testing you.
You knew it, straight away. Even Jorge would see it.
Estefania, she was completely drawn to him.
And the names and addresses?
Members of the armed forces sympathetic to our cause.
She had them stock piled in her head,
more than 200 names,
waiting for the day we call them, to rise up against the fascists.
PHONE RINGS
Can I have my key, please? Of course, sir.
Is Miss de Prado at home?
She asked for you to wait, if you come.
Why you bring back the past?
I want to know how it felt to be Amadeu.
Did you know him?
Amadeu, you must eat.
You need to be strong for your final exams.
SHE CHOKES
Stand up.
Sit down.
Momma, come help me.
I have to do this, otherwise you will die.
Take your hands away.
Adriana, trust me.
AIR HISSES
Clotilde, call an ambulance!
The ambulance and the doctor came
and Adriana was rushed to hospital.
You can leave us now, Clotilde.
The doctor said I did the right thing.
Why do you say nothing?
Why do you judge me so? BELL DINGS
The intervention is called tracheotomy.
If I hadn't have done it, we would have carried her out in a coffin.
I too shall have a cup of tea, Clotilde.
So now you know.
From then on, I was indebted to him...
..just as Rui Mendes was indebted to him.
The police knew very well the
clinic was been used as a cover for the resistance -
they never came and searched.
People would drop off envelopes of money and...
names, addresses, maps.
And then she would come.
Next.
Why have you not called me? I left messages.
I have something for Joao.
I have to talk to you. I cannot go on with Jorge.
Leave us.
Adriana, leave us.
Then one night, it-it all ended.
How?
Something had happened...
I do not know what, but that was the last time I ever saw her.
There are patients waiting for you. Send them away.
We do not send patients away?! Do it now.
If someone comes to the door, do not answer it.
Switch off the lights. We are not here.
Amadeu!
BANGING CONTINUES
Amadeu!
Joao Eca is at the door.
I'll be back.
Amadeu!
Come, come in.
Where is she?
Estefania.
I don't know. She went one way, I went another.
Jorge came to me - the problem is Estefania.
What do you mean?
He wants... He wants to eliminate her.
What?
He said, if they get to her, they'll get the names.
It will be the end of it.
Jorge wants to kill Estefania?
If she or Jorge come here, call me.
You understand? I understand.
Okay.
What a mess.
What are you going to do?
Pack a bag and some food - I am taking the car.
To where? Away from here.
With her? Of course with her.
No, please no, Amadeu!
I beg you, don't do this thing!
Tell them she's here.
Don't go away with her, I beg you!
Please, don't go!
Do as I say.
Don't do this thing, it's wrong!
Something terrible will happen, I know it will!
He stepped over me - I'll never forget that.
He stepped over me...
..like I was...nothing.
Could I have a coffee, please?
Hello? Mr Kagi, it's me.
I am sorry I missed your call yesterday.
Don't tell me you are still in Lisbon?
Yes, I am. Where are you staying?
Hotel Silva - you wouldn't have heard of it.
Is it raining in Bern?
I can't keep teaching your class, you have to come back.
If you don't come back, I am going to have to get replacement for you.
Do you want me to do that?
Perhaps. I need a yes or no, Raimund.
Mr Kagi, I have to go. I'm sorry.
DOG BARKS
Why are you following me?
Where does this come from?
His sister, Adriana, came across his notes.
She put them together in a book.
I came across that in Bern, Switzerland.
I want to know what happened to Estefania.
Why? Amadeu is dead.
Adriana does not know. You are the only one who does.
Get the hell out of here!
Get out!
MAN: Shh!
Why has my uncle started smoking again? What?
The doctor from the nursing home called me,
and told me a stranger visited him and brought him some cigarettes.
Well, he asked me for some. Are you trying to kill him?
He already has emphysema!
Yeah, but he enjoys smoking. Why deny him that pleasure?
Because it's bad for him.
So is living in that nursing home - it reminds him of being in prison.
How are your new glasses? I'm getting used to them.
Would you have dinner with me?
I thought you'd never ask.
If-if-if Jesus had been put to death with a guillotine,
we would all be praying before a big, shiny blade.
Or-or if he'd been electrocuted, we'd be genuflecting in front of a chair.
THEY LAUGH
But can you really do that?
Nobody disliked to be another person without being the other person.
You can imagine what it's like to be that other person.
"Imagination is our last sanctuary" -
that's one of his lines.
Though he also said, "Intimacy is our last sanctuary."
You remember the lines verbatim.
Well, that's because they... They mean something to me.
Poor Estefania, she... she remembered everything,
even trivial things - numbers, names, phone numbers, addresses...
To have a memory like that must drive you mad.
Sorry, I am going on.
I haven't talked as much as this for years.
No, no. I'm fascinated.
May I ask you how long you have been on you own?
Five and a half years.
But before that, you spoke to you wife?
Yes...
but it...
usually landed me in trouble.
What kind of trouble?
Well, we threw a party for her colleagues...
well...our friends,
and she found this quote from Pessoa.
"Fields are greener in their description than their actual greenness."
And somebody said, "Oh, that's a beautiful sentence."
I said, "Yes, but only a very few people will ever understand it."
And there was this terrible silence and then she said, my wife...
She said, "And I suppose you are one of the chosen few?"
So, that was the end of that party.
But you were right.
Yes, but it...was arrogant.
Stupid and arrogant.
And is that why she left you, because of your arrogance?
No. I think she left me because she found me...
..boring.
We are still in touch.
She called the other day.
She wanted me to move my books out of the garage
because her new boyfriend wanted somewhere to park his car.
SHE LAUGHS
I don't know why I am telling you all of this.
Would you like to dance? No, I can't. I can't dance.
You see?
Boring.
Thank you.
I enjoyed that.
Raimund...
you are not boring.
My uncle would like to see you again.
Will you take him some cigarettes?
DOG BARKS
Jorge is still alive. You met him?
Still running the same pharmacy,
smoking cigarette while he serves his customers.
You brought some? Yes, I did.
Estefania was in the house when I was there?
She found them together in his study.
No wonder he lied to me...
because, you know, he never lied.
He could not tolerate dishonesty.
What had happened earlier that night?
Jorge's place become too small
and so we hired a room in an old warehouse for our meetings.
We pretended it was a literacy class - Estefania's idea.
We were so naive.
Nuno, you will be in charge of the railways.
The numbers you will call are -
Lisbon, 642-3518,
contact name, Leonardo.
Port, 235-5900, contact name, Julius.
The signal for the take over will come from Radio Renaissance now.
It will be the song that was banned, the song by...
DOOR OPENS
Excuse me. Are you lost?
Is this the literacy class?
Yes, we were just finishing. Please take a seat.
Most letters have more than one pronunciation except the letter "X"
and I will explain that in more detail next week.
Thank you all.
What is a professor of music doing here?
I met someone who cannot read.
I wanted to see for myself what kind of course it was
before recommending it.
Hmm-hmm.
What is this person's name?
Um... Caspian. HE LAUGHS
How original(!)
Sit down, all of you! Nobody leaves this room!
(Shh-shh!)
(Out! Out!)
SIRENS BLARE IN DISTANCE
(Joao!)
Give me your gun.
What for?
We have to do what is right for the resistance.
What happened to the others?
Estefania and Amadeu, they got away, but...
they're gonna find her and then she will talk.
The others, they don't know much. But Estefania, she knows everything.
Hey, hey. Hey, hey, Jorge...
What are you talking about?
You want to kill Estefania?
No. No, no.
I don't want to, but I have to.
One life for many lives. Give it to me.
Joao, give it to me.
I never find out what really happened.
Did he tell you?
No. When I asked him, he tell me to...get lost.
I need to know. I can't tell you how many times I wish
that I never gave him that gun.
Three days later, Mendes, he picked me up.
He broke my hands and my spirit...
but I never give him one single name.
You-you-you tell that to Jorge.
He owes me.
"In youth, we live as if we were immortal.
"Knowledge of mortality dances around us
"like a brittle paper ribbon that barely touches our skin.
"When in life does that change?
"When does the ribbon tighten,
"until finally it strangles us?"
PHONE RINGS
Mr Kagi?
Have you made a decision yet?
No.
A woman came asking for you.
She said she met you on a bridge, or something.
A Portuguese woman?
I told her where you were and she left.
If you decide not to come back, I need your keys.
Will you post them to me? No, this woman...
Did-did she leave her name?
No.
Goodbye, Mr Kagi.
Joao Eca wants to know what happened to Estefania.
He says you owe him.
I owe no-one anything.
Do you know what they did to his hands?
Those hands that used to play Mozart?
He didn't give them one name.
If he had, you wouldn't be standing here.
You think you can blackmail me with guilt?
You don't know who you are dealing with!
Could I have killed her? That is the question!
Don't you know we don't talk about...about the resistance here?
We bury our history and move on!
You want a drink?
You are sitting where Amadeu used to sit,
until this thing with Mendes happened, then we...
We have the list of reasons for loyalty -
guilt towards others...
shared suffering, common struggle, common strength,
weaknesses, need for closeness...
..common hatred, shared humour and so on.
What about love? He didn't believe in it.
Avoided the word as too sentimental.
There are only three things that are important to him -
desire, pleasure and security.
Desire...Jorge.
I don't trust people who don't drink.
Have a cigarette.
HE COUGHS
You are OK?
Yeah.
Joao still loves to smoke. He would.
HE LAUGHS
What?
The night after we graduated from Coimbra University,
me as a pharmacist, Amadeu as a doctor...
What? Come, I have something to show you.
What do you think?
So? It's a... It's a pharmacy.
Yes. It's yours.
Come in.
I need a pharmacist I can trust
if I am going to be writing up prescriptions.
Here.
I could not believe what he had given me.
After that, I never thought we could lose our friendship.
I never thought it possible.
I'm not much to look at, I know I'm an ugly bastard,
so, when she came along...
God, she was beautiful.
I thought some of her would somehow rub off on me.
HE LAUGHS
At least that's what I think I thought.
And this is Estefania.
I was going to introduce you, but...
The resistance keeps us busy.
Isn't she beautiful?
It was the way she took my hand and removed it from her neck.
Her eyes penetrating him.
We'll think about it, Amadeu, and get back to you.
All right?
Perhaps we can use your clinic as a drop.
Why did you take my hand off your neck?
Did I?
Have you ever been in love?
So that not even food matters? Not even words?
I am not sure. You would be sure. You would know.
You always know.
You're thinking of him. What?
HE SIGHS
You wish I was Amadeu.
Does he mention me in the book?
A lot.
Well, I am surprised she published it. Adriana hated me.
Wanted him for herself,
did not even want to share him with her father.
You know what happened to him? No.
A few months before the revolution,
he went to Amadeu and asked for stronger pain killers for his back.
Adriana came every week to the pharmacy for the pills,
but he never took them - he hoarded them.
A week after Amadeu died, he swallowed over 100.
The newspapers said he died after a long illness.
Catholics don't appreciate suicide.
Hmm.
(Everyone out!)
Estefania, come with me.
CAR APPROACHES
HORN BLARES
If I had the gun then, I might have shot her.
And when you got the gun?
'I went strict to Amadeu's clinic.
'I knew they would be there.'
DOORBELL RINGS
Where are they? They've gone.
Don't lie to me... They've gone, Jorge.
CAR ENGINE STARTS
Jorge.
Give me the gun.
HE SOBS
Estefania, is she...?
Is she still alive?
I bumped into her two years ago.
She was here, attending some seminar or...
I asked her how she was.
She told me she was teaching history.
Where?
At the University of Salamanca in Spain.
And...your pharmacy...
Why do you leave the lights on at night?
HE LAUGHS
To remind me of Amadeu.
HE GROANS
Mr da Silva, could I have my bill, please?
Are you going back to Switzerland, sir? Yes, via Spain.
They say the weather right now in Switzerland is terrible -
rain, snow and wind.
I have to go. Could I have my bill, please?
Excuse me.
Hello.
I want to thank you for what happened on the bridge.
I've been reading your book. I don't want it.
I just want to thank you for what you did.
I've got your coat.
You left it behind.
Tell me your name.
Catarina Mendes.
Yes...
..that Mendes.
I am the granddaughter of the "Butcher of Lisbon".
I didn't know who he was until I read the book.
You can't blame yourself for what you grandfather did.
You don't understand.
I loved him.
I cried at his funeral
and I did not understand why so many other people were not crying.
Anyway...
..it will take some time, but I'll learn to live with this.
This would be the same road they took.
But at night and in great danger.
And in love.
I was moved to see my uncle cry like that.
I don't know what pleased him more -
the news Estefania was alive, or the carton of cigarettes we gave him.
SHE LAUGHS
So, you return to your school and continue teaching?
If they'll have me.
I am sure I'll come back and visit.
Are you sure she'll be in?
She said she'd be here.
Are you coming?
I'll wait in the car.
No.
Go, Raimund. I'll be fine here. Take your time.
Welcome, Raimund.
I'm Estefania. Thank you so much for meeting me.
Do you have the book?
I do.
He looks just as I remember him.
So long ago and still so vivid.
Would you like some tea? Thank you.
What about your friend?
Oh, no. She is... She is happy in the car.
I joined the resistance
after my father was arrested in 1971 for sabotage.
They sent him to Tarrafal.
You have heard of it? Yes.
It was also known as the "Campo da Morte Lenta" -
"The Camp of the Slow Death".
It took them two years to kill him.
And that is how I met Jorge.
I need someone strong.
Someone to protect me.
I thought that was love.
But then I met Amadeu.
A new light fell on everything.
My whole life.
I could not sleep any more.
I went to the clinic as often as I could...
..despite Adriana's looks.
He wanted to take me in his arms, but he kept rejecting me.
"Jorge", he would say, "What about Jorge?" I began to hate Jorge.
Do you mind if I smoke? No. Please.
Jealousy is a terrible emotion.
SIRENS BLARE
SHE SIGHS
I could tell from his shoulders he had seen us.
Awful. Awful.
But, in a way, I was relieved it was done.
Are you sure your friend is all right?
Oh, yes. She is fine in the car.
We drove through the night.
Amadeu kept questioning me.
Was he searching for me or for life?
He wanted to know everything, my whole life, my...
memories,
thoughts, fantasies, dreams... It was relentless.
It was almost a relief when, 5km from the border,
he stopped and hid me in the trunk.
Passport.
Why are you travelling to Spain? I am going to visit relatives.
Get out of the car, please.
Keys.
Do you know Major Rui Lus Mendes of PIDE?
What about him?
I want you to call him. I have his home number.
I want you to tell him you are treating me like a criminal.
INDISTINCT SPEECH
He wants to talk to you.
This is Dr Amadeu de Prado.
You are asking too much of me.
You took my life away from me - I want it back now.
Give the phone back to my man.
SHE SOBS
Ironic that I should ultimately be saved...
by the Butcher of Lisbon.
That night...
..we drove to Finisterra and slept in the car.
We'll go away.
We'll take a ship to the Amazon,
to a new world, where only you and I exist.
I'll write books...
we'll invent a new language that only you and I understand.
We'll go up the river as far as it will take us.
Back in time and into the future.
The very beginning of the end.
What would I do?
You'll share it with me.
The same air, the same feelings, same tastes.
These things that you want...
you want them for yourself, not for me.
I want them for both of us.
He was hungry for me and for life...
..but the journey he wanted to take
was into his own soul, not into mine.
I cannot do it, Amadeu.
What do you mean?
You want more than I can ever give you...
..and I'm not ready.
I'm so sorry.
I have friends in Salamanca.
Will you take me to them?
He drove me to Salamanca...
..he shook my hand...
..he wished me well and left.
The next I heard, he was dead.
I always felt I killed him.
He had an aneurysm.
An aneurysm?
A blood vessel burst in his brain.
He... He'd had it for a long time.
Did you...go to his funeral?
You didn't really think I would do it, did you?
It is no longer important.
SHE SOBS
So what happened to the names and telephone numbers
you had in you head?
Lisbon,
331-4518, contact name, Carlos.
Sintra, 245-102, contact name, Nuno.
I wrote them all down and passed them on to someone safe.
A few months later, they were used to initiate the revolution.
Your friend must be very tired of waiting.
You can keep the book, if you like. Thank you.
I'm probably more ready for him now than I was back then.
Goodbye, Raimund. Goodbye, Estefania.
"We leave something of ourselves behind when we leave a place...
"..we stay there, even though we go away.
"And there are things in us that we can find again
"only by going back there.
"We travel to our souls when we go to a place
"that we have covered a stretch of our life,
"no matter how brief it may have been."
This is me.
Well, we've still got...
..five minutes.
Thank you for...
..telling me I wasn't boring.
But when I think of their lives...
..Amadeu, Estefania, the others,
their lives full of such vitality,
intensity... So much so it broke them apart in the end.
But they lived.
Whereas my life...
..apart from these last few days...
And now you are going back to it.
Oh, why don't you just stay?
What?
Why don't you just stay?