CHINKING
MACHINE BEEPS
No! Come on! THUMPING
Ugh! Ugh!
HE GROANS
Ugh! Agh!
Ugh! HE SIGHS
Come on... Oh!
Got it! Ugh!
Agh! Egh! Egh! Agh! Gimme! HE GASPS
TOY SQUEAKS Oh!
All right...
What?
Oh! HE STRUGGLES
Ow!
Agh!
Hmm. Vincent.
No, no! Bad idea. Bad idea! STOMACH RUMBLES
HE SIGHS
Ugh!
CLATTERING
Agh! HE SIGHS
SNORING
HE BREATHES DEEPLY
Huh?
Oh!
BEAR GRUMBLES Agh!
Grr...
BEAR SNORES
Ugh! CLATTERING
SNORING CONTINUES
HE SIGHS
Just take what you need. Just take what you need.
CLATTERING
Mmm-hmm.
CLATTERING
SNORING CONTINUES
Wait... BEAR SNORES
OK.
Hmm.
BEAR SNORES
HE BLOWS
SNORING CONTINUES
CAN WHOOSHES Huh?
HE GASPS
BEAR GRUMBLES RJ?
Um, no. The moon's not full.
You woke me up a week early?
Oh, no.
Don't tell me you're dumb enough to actually try and steal my stuff.
RJ, I'm gonna have to kill you. Please!
I'm a desperate guy trying to feed his family! You don't have a family.
I meant a family of one. Grr... OK, wait, wait, wait!
Look, it's still in the cave. So, technically, not stolen.
Agh! Oh, no!
No!
BOTH: Slow!
Oof... Stop!
BEAR SIGHS Whoo!
Heh-heh-heh! That was close. TRUCK HORN HONKS
SMASHING
Ooh, erm...
Grr! Agh!
Agh! Oh, no! There's a way I can get it all back!
That's right! If you eat me, you'd have to do it, but I can get it.
All of it. My red wagon? Redder! Ow.
The blue cooler. Blue cooler, on my list. Gotta be blue?
Yes! And I want my Spuddies. I love those things.
Cos with a Spuddie, enough just isn't enough. So true!
Painfully true. And I'll tell you what...
I'm gonna get you the giant picnic pack family-fun size. They have that?
I'm pretty sure. All right, RJ.
I'm going back to sleep. When that moon is full, I'm waking up
and all my stuff had better be right back where it was.
But that's just one week! That's impossible for one guy... Agh!
A week's perfect! I'll get some helpers. Full moon, all my stuff.
And don't even think about running away, because if you do,
I will hunt you down and kill you.
Ugh!
OK. OK, buddy. You just rest easy, all right? Cos I'm on it.
Hey, a week from now, we're gonna be laughing about this thing. Huh?
HE LAUGHS
BANG, FOLLOWED BY CLUNK
HE SIGHS
# Ah...ah
# Ah, ah, ah, ah... #
HORN HONKS Aah!
HE SIGHS # ..How great I am
# Gotta tell myself, yeah
# I'm the man
# Looks grim right now
# But pretty soon, we'll be laughing about it
# Ooh, and it's all right
# Yeah, it is, I swear you'll see
# It's not really
# Yeah, it's all right
# Cos I've always got my family
# Of me
# It's not a first Might be the last
# Yeah, I'm sure I must have been through worse
# But ooh, it's all right
# Got a paddle and a creek
# Yeah, and it's all right
# Because I've always got
# My family
# Of me... #
Oh! Oh! Boy, that's cold! That's cold!
Oh! The one place I didn't have a shell. Oh!
BIRDSONG
BUZZING Wow!
BUZZING CONTINUES
Spring. That means there's only 274 days left till winter.
Everybody, wake up. Hibernation's over. Oh, morning!
Morning, Hammy. I gotta go wee-wee.
Oh, not in the lake we drink from.
Let's go! all right, the rest of you. It's spring!
That means we gotta get to work. Ah, finished. Ugh! No, wait!
Come on. Wake up. Don't make me come in there. Y'all better listen.
I've been holding something in all winter and I'm about to let it out.
SHOUTING
Thank you, Stella. Oh, I can clear a room, Verne. Come on.
That much, I can do. Morning. Good morning, everyone.
Just a super-duper morning.
Oh, jeepers. Woah. Not looking so good around the eyes there, hon.
Bucky and Quillo were up every four weeks and Spike kept poking me.
Yeah, well, he's kind of pokey. He's the sharpest of the bunch.
You know what? How about I take the day shift? That'd be just super.
All right, kids, you heard your mother and now you listen to me.
Shape up there. KIDS SHOUT
Oh!
Oh, boy. This is what I was afraid of.
Where's the food? Is there any food left? I'm really hungry.
We ate all the food, Hammy, during the winter. So we gotta get more.
Oh, right! I buried some nuts in the woods and I know where they are!
I'll be right back! Bye!
Agh! Agh!
KIDS LAUGH Shh!
NERVOUS LAUGHTER Dad, it's just snow.
But it could have been a predator.
Isn't playing dead a little...weak?
Heather, how many times must I say it?
Playing possum is what we do. We die so that we live! Kids...
I'm the boss of you. So just calm down.
That's what we need to find you this year, a good fella.
A good fella? Uh-oh. A good fella?!
Oh, jeepers, here we go. Why does everyone think I need a man, huh?
I look like a nest and smell like a swamp.
So, when you find a fella who's decent, good with kids,
and has no sense of smell, call me!
HE GASPS
CHATTERING Um, hello! I don't care.
Um... Ahem! Oh. Oh, look. Food.
Well, I think you know, um, what this means. Egh!
Verne! Just a minute, Hammy. Ahem...
This means we were nine berries away from starvation.
GASPING Sorry, that was a little intense.
I meant really serious hunger pains.
Verne! Not finished, Hammy.
Morning, Lou, Penny. Thanks. Hey, kids.
So, what I wanna tell you all is... Verne! I'm not done, Hammy.
If you have to go again, just go.
OK, so all I'm saying is we cut it a little close.
So this year, we need to fill the log... All the way to the top.
Exactly. All the way to the top.
Because what are we? ALL: Foragers!
And what do we forage? Food! Right.
Super, Verne. Really super. OK, Hammy. Huh?
What is it? What is what? What is it you wanna tell me? Hmm? Oh!
Oh! Oh! What was it? What was it? What was it? Ooh! Wait!
Right on the tip of my tongue! Oh, there's a weird thing over there
I've never seen before. It's really scary! Follow me.
OK, meeting called on account of weird, scary thing.
Hmm. Foragers.
Hammy, what weird thing? Oh.
That weird thing.
GULPING Aah...
'It never ends!'
Woah! Hey!
It never ends that way, too.
Jeepers. Yeah, jeepers is the word.
What is this thing? Heather, no!
I'm scared. Me too, Mommy. Shh. Shh. It's OK. It's just a...
What is this thing? I... Well, it's, um...it's... Verne?
Ahem... Well, it's...it's obviously...
some kind of bush. I'd be less afraid if I knew what it was called.
Let's call it Steve. Steve? It's a pretty name.
Steve sounds nice. Yeah, I'm less scared of Steve.
Oh, great and powerful Steve, what do you want?
I don't think it can speak. 'I heard that, young man.'
THEY SCREAM Agh!
'You get over here right now!'
OK. Hammy, get back here.
But Steve is angry. I think it came from the other side of Steve.
I mean, the bush. I mean... Geesh! HE SIGHS
Look, there's only one way we'll find out what this thing is
and what this is about. I'll check it out.
GULP!
Agh! SCREAMING
Aye, aye, aye!
Ugh! Agh! THEY GASP
HE GASPS Steve ate Verne!
All right, Steve, you brought this on yourself.
Stella, don't! I'm not eaten. I just tripped.
Ahem... I'm gonna go over there.
Just don't anybody move.
Eeh. Ah.
'Hurry up! We're gonna be late!'
ENGINE REVS
SHOUTING
Oh. DOG BARKS
HE GASPS
Huh?
What is this place?
BUZZING Oh. Hey there, little...
Agh!
..fella. Aah.
Oh! Agh!
Agh!
Hi? Agh! Ugh!
Oh!
Agh! Agh! Oh!
Agh! Ugh! Agh! Oh!
Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah! Oof! Ow.
Ugh!
Agh! Oh! Egh! Agh! Oh! Oh!
Woah-ho!
Eeeeeggghhh!
Aggghhhh! Oof!
Huh?
PHONE RINGS Huh? 'Operator, can I help you?'
Ow! Woah!
No, I can talk. I'm just driving.
Agghh!
Woah! Egh! Agh!
Ogh!
BELL RINGS Oh!
HE MOANS Get it!
Aaagggghhhh! Ogh! Ugh!
Oh! Verne's back. What was that? Verne. Jeepers. Come on.
Ugh! Ugh! What was over there? There were these freaky pink primates!
They must have come while we were hibernating. It was awful.
They had wheels on their feet and sticks.
They were whacking me with sticks like it was some sick game!
You should have died. You should have laid down and died.
Dad. That's not the worst part. Half the forest is gone. Huh?
All the oak trees and the berry bushes.
They're just... They're just...gone.
Jeepers! What'll we do for food?
THEY ALL MUTTER
I don't know, but here's what I do know -
we will be fine as long as no-one goes over Steve again.
It's called a hedge and it is not to be feared, my amphibious friend.
It is the gateway to the good life. Um, I'm a reptile, actually.
But, you know, it's a common mistake. And, um, you are?
Oh, where are my manners? I'm RJ. Ugh! Please don't think I'm prying,
but I couldn't help overhearing, and I think I can shed a little light
on what this hedge situation is about. You see...
what was once mere wilderness is now 54 acres of man-made, manicured,
air-conditioned paradise.
Except for that little, bitty speck. You are here.
THEY GASP No, no.
That's a good thing. You're hibernators, right?
You gather up food, store it away for the winter? We fill the log!
Hammy! Really? This log? This cave-like log?
All the way to the top. Ozzie!
Let me ask you. How long does it take, you know, to fill the log?
274 days. Oh! Ever done it in a week?
That's impossible. Not if we work together.
You've got the food-gathering skills, I've got the know-how
and they have the food! How much food? Loads of food! Heaps of food!
Food out the wazoo! Well, whatever kind of food comes out of a wazoo,
I don't think we're interested in eating.
I don't know. The guy's making a lot of sense to me. We should listen.
Yeah, I'm OK with wazoo food. No, you're not.
The tail is tingling. THEY CHATTER
Woah, hold on, the what is what?
When something doesn't feel right, my tail tingles. Let me tell you,
everything you've said is driving my tail crazy.
Listen, Verne, right? This isn't something you need to be afraid of.
Well, I am, and for good reason.
Ah, well. This is not a birthmark.
That's because you went over there without a guide, Verne.
Whatever. Thanks for stopping by. We're not interested.
Not interested in the most delicious food you've ever tasted?
No! Come on. Not...interested!
OK, I get it.
I understand. This is something that you're just not...open to.
THEY ALL GASP
THEY ALL GROAN
Jeepers. What is that?!
That is a magical combination of corn flour, dehydrated cheese solids,
BHA, BHT and good old MSG. AKA, the chip.
Nacho cheese flavour.
THEY ALL CHATTER More, please! More! Ha-ha-ha!
Damn, Verne, those were good!
It's all good and we're going over there...tonight! Yeah!
Welcome...to suburbia. Look at that. Wow!
ALL: Ooh!
Hey, Mom, look at us! Look at us!
Oh, my! THEY ALL CHATTER EXCITEDLY
Jeepers!
How's that tail, Verne? Listen, if anybody in this family gets hurt,
I'm holding you personally responsible.
They're having a good time. I'll take responsibility for that.
THEY ALL CHATTER
Hey, Verno, I took a few clippings out of my quills
to do a little comparison. Look at this.
The grass seems to be greener over here.
Are you certain you came to the same place?
Yeah, cos the raccoon says... OK! Enough about him! I get it.
So he can do a few tricks. It's not like he can walk on water.
Hey, everybody! This way to the food!
THEY ALL CHATTER EXCITEDLY
What is that? That is an SUV.
Humans ride in it because they're slowly losing their ability to walk.
Jeepers, it's so big! How many humans fit in there?
Usually? One. Ooh.
Hi, this is Gladys Sharpe.
Your president of the Homeowner's Association. ..Right!
Oh! Jeepers! What is that? Easy, easy. Don't worry.
That's a human being and they're just as scared of us as we are of them.
Now, if a human does happen to see you,
just lay down, roll over and give your privates a good licking.
They love it. The Homeowner's Charter, which you signed,
says the grass is supposed to be two inches and yours is two point five.
Can we just get the food and go? Really, do they have it, or not?
Didn't you see? It was in the box. They've always got food with them.
We eat to live, these guys live to eat.
Let me show you what I'm talking about.
'The human mouth is called a pie hole.'
The human being is called a couch potato.
That is a device to summon food. DOORBELL RINGS
That is one of the many voices of food.
That is the portal for the passing of the food.
That is one of the many food transportation vehicles.
Humans bring the food, take the food, ship the food.
They drive the food, they wear the food.
That gets the food hot. That keeps the food cold. That...
I'm not sure what that is.
Agh! CHEERING
Agh! Hey, what do you know? Food!
That is the altar where they worship...food.
That's what they eat when they've eaten too much food.
That gets rid of the guilt so they can eat more food!
Food! Food! Food! Food! FOOD!
So, you think they have enough?
Well, they don't. For humans, enough is never enough!
THEY ALL GASP And what do they do
with the stuff they don't eat?
They put it in gleaming silver cans...just for us.
THEY ALL GASP Sweet jeepers!
Dig in! THEY ALL CHEER
Hmm? Good, isn't it? Look. Oh, wow!
THEY CHATTER EXCITEDLY
HE SNIFFS Um...that's a diaper...
and that does come out of a wazoo.
So, what do you think? Was I right, or was I right?
And these things are just the scraps.
Wait till you see what comes in the boxes, packages and cans.
You stick with me and in one week, we will gather enough food
to...to...to...to feed a bear!
Huh? Just a figure of speech. BEEPING
Halt! Intruders! Intruders!
Get out, all of you! CAT MEOWS
What is it, baby? Aggghhhh! THEY GASP
What are you doing? You said we should lick... No! Run!
THEY SHOUT That's right! Get out of here! Ugh!
Wagh! Shoo! Get out of here! I just mopped this patio!
Messy vermin!
THEY ALL PANT I gotta...
Whoo.
You kids OK? Hon, you all right? We'll find other things, right?
See what I mean? That's what I was talking about.
These humans don't want us around! We scared her and she overreacted.
No biggie. No biggie? Oh, that is what we call a biggie.
Come on, think about the food. It was worth it for that food, huh?
That stuff is to die for!
HE GASPS Agh!
Let me re-phrase that. No, to die for. You nailed that part.
Look, maybe our little forest life looks primitive to a guy with a bag.
What? But see, I think I speak for the whole family when I say
we want nothing to do with anything that's over that hedge!
Oh, come on! I'm done. You haven't even tried doughnuts yet!
You wanna store fat, that is the way to store some fat!
You'll be sweating through winter!
Oh, OK. All right, you guys sleep on it.
Good idea. I'm gonna check back with ya.
Shoot! Almost had 'em.
Goodnight, Heather. Goodnight. Goodnight, Ozzie. Goodnight, Verne.
Goodnight, Lou. Yeah, goodnight. Goodnight, Penny. Goodnight.
Goodnight, Hammy. Goodnight, Verne! Goodnight, Bucky. Goodnight.
Goodnight, Spike. Goodnight, Verne. Goodnight, Quillo. Goodnight.
When we wake up, only 273 days left till winter.
That's enough, Verne. Goodnight. 273.
Spice...
Cold... Wagon...
Agh! Hey! Time's up, RJ.
But I have six more days! No! No! Grr... No-o-o-o!
Agh! Agh! Oh! OK!
Four paws. Fur. Still alive.
Still alive. Oh. 'So, what are you saying?'
You want me to take them into town? Huh? No...
Yes!
Agh! Oh! OK, kids, dive in. There it is.
Bark for breakfast.
I want a doughnut! I want pizza!
No, you don't! SIGHING
BUZZING Yes!
Awe...
Hmm.
OK. This is great.
Granted, it takes some time to chew.
But that... Gulp! That was very satisfying.
And by the way, lots of fibre in there, too.
Mmm!
Wagh. I gotta admit, that does look tasty.
What are you doing here? I'm here to help you with your...
foraging thing. Look, Verne, you said a word yesterday
about your gang. It starts with an 'F'. Do you remember what it was?
Family? Right, right. That. You know, that got me right here.
You see, Verne, I used to have all that.
My own place, surrounded by loved ones,
the universal remote. But then all that went away with...
the weed hacker incident. Oh!
Oh! Come here!
Yeah, that feels good, doesn't it?
Oh, brother. Jeepers, Verne. We could always use the extra hand.
The weed hacker, Verne. The weed hacker.
OK.
I'm not your problem. I'll just go.
This is me...going.
It's been nice. Don't hit. Nice getting to know you all.
I'm sure I'll see you around the forest. Oh! Take care.
All right, all right. Hey, um, RJ?
You can... You can stay. Ha-hoo! Agh! Come here, you big lump! No!
I knew beneath this hard, crispy outside,
there was a soft, nougaty centre in there!
Do you mind if I call you Uncle Verne? With every bone in my body.
Great. Hey, can I work with Hammy?
You wanna help me find my nuts? Very tempting, Hammy. Very tempting.
But first, I wanna show you this.
HAMMY SNIFFS Do you like this cookie?
Oh, ho-ho-ho!
This cookie's junk! I said I'd like a cookie. Easy. Easy. Don't worry.
I know where we can get some cookies so valuable,
they were hand-delivered by uniformed officers. Oh!
And the Doyles is the yellow house. The only...
There they are. America's most coveted cookies.
Love Handles, Skinny Mints, Neener-Neeners and Smackeroons!
And guess what? They're all yours! Whoo-hoo! Hey! Woah! Agh! Woah!
Hold on there, fella. I love your energy, but you just can't take them.
But you just said they're mine! They will be if we successfully marry
your manic energy to my brilliant plan. You with me, kid?
I... I... I... The "I"s have it. Let's ride.
I thought Mrs Wilinsky was allergic to chocolate.
Yeah, if she eats it, her face, like, explodes or something.
Woah. That is extreme. Wait, wait, wait.
How many boxes... Hey! You stay away from those cookies! They're mine!
BANGING Agh! Ahem...
Hey, this guy's not coming, is he? Cos I don't want him to! Oh...
I have so much work to do. Come on.
Step into my office. Now, listen up.
What we're going for here is a vicious, man-eating rabid squirrel.
Can you handle that? Um, excuse me? Yes...Hammy?
Um, OK. Um, rabbits aren't vicious. They're all cute and cuddly.
Rabid, not rabbit.
Oh! What?
OK, so first, muss the hair. Ow! Ow! Uh-huh. Right. Then we're gonna...
HE SPITS ..get the fur just a bit...
Agh! Eeh! Stop it! Up here... Ha-ha-ha! Liking that a lot.
Now, show me that wild look in your eye, boy! Come on!
Oh! Oh! I can burp my ABCs.
HE BURPS A, B, C... Hammy!
I just really need you to focus right now, OK?
OK. Thank you. Let's see. Hmm. Hang on a minute.
HE GRUNTS Ah-ha!
Nice! Oof!
Hammy...
Gulp!
Ha-ha! Done! Now, come on. I'll be right behind you.
Go on! Get out there! Shoo! Shoo!
I'm a crazy, rabid squirrel. I want my cookies!
HE CHATTERS I'm rabid!
I'm going to get you! Ew!
I'm foaming! Very scary rabid squirrel!
Grr! BOTH: Rabies!
Hey, it's working! GIRLS SCREAM
Behind you! I know, you're right behind me! Ooh!
Got it! Agh! Get it! Oh, no, no, no, no! No-o-o-o! Take that!
Agh! Agh! Walk it off! Just walk that one off! What is going on?
Is that Hammy? Everything's under control.
You call that under control? He's under attack! He's working!
I'm coming, Hammy! Verne! No! Agh! What are you doing? Woah! Agh! Agh!
Agh!
Agghhh! Oh! Hold still! I got it! Agh! Stay still! Agh!
Yuck! Gross! Eew! Eew! Eew! Eew! Nasty! Oh, my God! That is so gross!
Verne, that was great. You, my friend, are a natural.
Or, should I say, au naturel?
Huh?
Oh! Hammy? Yeah? You were awesome, my man. Oh!
You had ME scared. I was about to come and beat you with a book myself.
You're all right, aren't ya? Of course you are.
You are Hammy! Those bruises are gonna heal. Chicks dig scars.
Oof... There! There! There! He was right over there!
That's where the squirrel attacked us. He has rabies or something.
And there was this gross, naked amphibian thing. Reptile.
It's OK, girls. Go inside, have a cookie, turn on the TV and calm down.
Thanks, Mom. I'm sorry, Janice.
Did I just hear them say rabid squirrel?
Oh, I think they might just be overreacting. What if they're not?
What if we have a potential pandemic on our hands? Vermin running loose,
spreading disease and lowering our property values.
Yeah, I have a casserole in the oven. Gotta run.
Fine. You worry about your casserole and I'll worry about
the end of suburban peace and tranquillity!
Mmm-hmm. That's right. Don't push. Plenty for everybody.
Got a box right over here for you, Penny. Oh, jeepers, that is good.
Kids, eat up. Anything that tastes this good has to be good for you.
Feel that buzz in the back of your skull? Yeah!
That's called a sugar rush. It's what keeps the humans going.
You top that off with a little of this...
and what usually takes you all summer is only gonna take us a week.
Woah! Hold on, Ham squad. The last thing you need is caffeine.
Mmm! Um... Mmm! Whoo-hoo!
That's right. Come on. Dig in.
Because this, my friends, is just the beginning. What?
# Follow me into
# The great unknown
# Where pink flamingos crow
# Diet soda flows
# And what you take
# Magically regenerates
# On supermarket shelves
# The ovens clean themselves
# You don't pay the tab
# Till the last drop
# So we all ride for nothing... # SHOUTING
# ..Cos this train
# Never stops
# Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da da, da
# Da, da, da, da, da, da
# Da, da, da, da, da... # Oh!
# ..Da, da, da, da, da, da
# We make a good team
# Me and you, we do
# You can scratch my back... # Huh?
# ..And I'll scratch my back, too
# When everyone is welcome... # Read it and weep!
# ..At the party, yeah... # CHEERING
# ..People, more is more... # SCREAMING
# ..Ah, we all want more
# You don't pay the tab
# Till the last drop
# So we all ride for nothing
# Cos this train
# Never stops... #
Hello, I need every business listing you have under exterminator.
# ..Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da da, da
# Da, da, da, da, da, da
# Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da da, da
# Da, da, da, da, da, da
# You don't stop. You don't stop
# You don't stop... # TYRES SCREECH
THUD! 'Agh!' Ozzie!
CAR DOORS SLAM
Mom, you hit a possum. Oh, my goodness.
Do you think it's dead? Oh, no!
Wow! Touch it. Can I poke him? No!
These poor little creatures.
What's going on? Come check it out.
Debbie, I don't remember seeing a permit for a gathering.
Groups of more than one who wish to get... Agh!
Timmy, um, get the shovel from the car.
Huh?
Oh!
Light's fading, limbs going cold.
'I see a tunnel!' Oh, no.
POSSUM SQUEAKS
Mother, is that you beckoning me into the light?
Must move toward the light.
POSSUM SQUEAKS What do you think he's doing?
Maybe we knocked his brains loose.
You went too far this time. Let's get out of here and leave this...
THEY ALL GRUNT Oh! Nice catch, Verne.
Agh! Ugh! You're dangerous! You're insane!
..I'm going home! HE COUGHS
Goodbye, cruel world!
Ooh! Oh!
Rose...bud.
Agh! HE WHEEZES
Ugh!
Now, can I poke him? No!
You see, this is exactly why I called the exterminator.
To kill them before they get hurt like this.
Everybody get out of here right now. Right! Kids, grab those handles.
THEY ALL CHATTER
THEY ALL SHOUT Threw out my back! Oh!
THEY ALL CHATTER Let's go!
HE GASPS
SQUEAKING
CHATTERING
Oh, no.
SHE GASPS Ooh.
Ah.
I believe someone phoned about an animal problem.
The solution is standing before you.
Dwayne LaFontaine is here.
Where have you been? I'm throwing a welcome-to-the-neighbourhood party
and so far, Debbie's car has killed more animals than you have!
Stand down, sister.
I guarantee that there will not be a living thing at this party!
Verminator is on the job.
CHATTERING Leave it! Leave it... Aah!
What do we have here? HE SNIFFS
Didelphis marsupial virginianus.
Approximately ten pounds. HE SNIFFS
EXHALING: Male.
SNAP! Oh!
Aah! I think he's dead. Oh, really?
Do you have an associates degree from VermTech?
I think he wants you to think he's dead.
(Guys, move! Move, move! That's it! Hurry! Run! Let's go!)
KIDS SCREAM
Look at him. You can see him breathing.
Huh? I certainly hope he's not in any pain. Ha-ha!
Agh! Wagh! Kill it! Kill it!
Thank you, all, for coming! Ogh! Agh! You were a great audience!
Awe, man! HE SIGHS, THEN GASPS
All right, what am I up against here?
SNIFFING: Possum... Porcupine... Skunk... Squirrel... Raccoon...
HE SNIFFS DEEPLY: Amphibian. Reptile. No.
HE SNIFFS DEEPLY: Reptile.
THEY ALL CHATTER
That's what I call a super-duper performance there, fella.
Yeah, it was super. They were riveted. You were awesome!
CHEERING All right! Whoo-hoo!
Dad, I just gotta say that was, um, that was pretty good.
Props for the Oz man! ALL: Oz man! CHEERING
But let's not forget our brilliant leadership, RJ.
ALL: RJ! CHEERING
LAUGHING: RJ! Hey, RJ, come this way. We wanna show you something.
Yeah, sure. Sweet!
What a team! THEY ALL CHATTER
'You're my hero, there, fella!'
Over here! This way! Come on. Yeah, we wanna show you something.
Come on. Hurry! Check it out.
Your new home.
And look! We got a place for you right here. That's for me?
Yeah. Is this anything like what you had, RJ?
This isn't anything like what I had, Lou.
Here, I'm not supposed to drink this. Thanks.
Ahem. Is that my bag?
Yeah, we brought it so you wouldn't have to sleep in that tree. Really?
Wow. Hey, RJ, check this out. We totally hooked up the TV.
I hotwired the HD converter. We get, like, a thousand channels.
Here. Can you take the remote before my dad does? Wow.
A universal remote?
This is nice, guys. Really nice.
TV: 'We now return to A Scoundrel Among Us.
'You should be ashamed of yourself. We let you into our family
'and you deceived us. I gave you my heart and you ripped it to pieces.
'Get real, Kevin. Cos when you feel like a dirtbag,
'it's because you're a dirtbag. Right?
'So just own it. Just say it out loud, "I am a dirtbag."'
Dirtbag? I don't think that guy's a real doctor.
What do you think there, RJ? RJ?
RJ BREATHES DEEPLY
Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, RJ! What are you doing, man?!
You're getting in way too deep.
Oh! You just get the food, feed the bear.
Get the food, feed the bear.
Waah! Where's the food? Where's the food?!
Oh!
What are you doing? I'm getting things back to the way they were.
No, don't! How about I just leave? Good.
You leave and I return this stuff to the rightful owners. What?!
Why?! Because we've angered the humans
and we don't wanna end up like that rabbit.
Hence...I'm giving this back so they won't kill us.
Verne, you don't understand! We need this stuff!
No, we don't! You can't take it!
Yes, I can! Let go! You let go!
I have to have it! No!
Agh!
Huh?
Agh!
Verne, move slow, keep your voice low and follow me.
What? Shh! Ugh...
No-o-o! Shh, shh! No, I'm not falling for any more of your...
smooth talk! HE WHISPERS
Ugh! I don't know what you're up to, but my entire shell is tingling.
I'm listening to it this time and I'm putting my foot down. No!
SQUEAKING Play?
SQUEAKING Huh?
Oh. Um... Play!
Agh! SQUEAKING
Play, play, play! SQUEAKING
Play, play, play, play! Ogh!
Aggghhh! Ough! Ogh! THEY BOTH SHOUT
THEY BOTH CONTINUE TO SHOUT
Ogh!
Ogh! Ogh! Agh! Agh!
DOG GRUNTS
DOLL: Let's play.
Play? Geez!
Ogh! Agh! Play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play! Woah!
Down, boy! Sit! Roll over! Play!
Play dead! Play! Play! Agh! Ogh! Ugh!
That-a-boy, Verne! Save the food! I'll lose the dog! Play! Huh?
Play! Play! Play! Play! Play! Play! Play!
Aggghh! Ooggghhh! Agh!
No! No! No! No! No! No! Agh! Agh!
You're dropping all the food, man! Here, catch!
Agh! Are you hungry? Look, food!
DOG BARKS Wagh!
Ogh! Ogh! Agh! Agh, agh, agh! Woah!
Look, people! Play with 'em!
SCREAMING Look out!
Play, play, play, play, play, play! Ugh! I'm all right.
I'm fine. I'm OK.
Agh! Whoo!
Huh? Verne, unhook the chain!
HE WHINES
Play!
Woah!
No! Chips!
Ugh! Bad!
Oh, boy! Woah!
Agh! TANK SPLUTTERS
Verne, I told you to unhook the chain!
Oh!
Ah. RUSTLING
Garbage cans are not to be on the kerb before eight... Oh!
Agghhh!
THEY BOTH GASP
You're the devil. Aaagggghhh! Aggghhh!
Agggghhh! Aggggghhh! Aggggghhh!
Aagggh! Ogh! Ow! Ow! Ogh! Ow! Egh!
Ogh! Ogh! Agh!
HE LAUGHS
No! No!
Verne, you all right there? Give me a hand, Oz. Oh, sure, sure.
What the heck happened? What happened? It's gone.
The food...gone!
What? Gone? How is it gone?
Ask...him! Verne?
I returned it to its rightful owner. BOTH: What?!
We, like, worked our tails off, you know? Like, a lot!
And the food we gathered was totally...you know!
And you're... You're all whatever!
Yeah, Verne, what were you thinking? The log was full!
Full of junk. Oh, so what are you saying there?
The food we gather our way isn't as good as the food we gather your way?
Your way? You mean his way. Can't you see RJ's just using you?!
Oh, Verne! Shame on you! RJ wouldn't do that.
You have got to trust me on this!
There's something wrong with this guy.
My tail tingles every time I get near him!
Oh, so we're supposed to go hungry because your butt's vibrating?
I'm starting to think that little tingle is just you being jealous.
Jealous? Of him?! Yeah, he's embracing the future there
and you're just holding us back! Oh, I hold you back, all right!
From extinction! See what you've done here?
If they listen to the stuff you're telling them, they'll be dead!
You're only interested in taking advantage of them
because they are too stupid and naive to know any better!
I'm not stupid.
OK, I didn't mean...um... I meant ignorant.
The way's over...over... over there.
Come on, you guys. You know I didn't mean it like that. Don't do this.
Stella? Ozzie?
Hammy...you know I didn't...
Hammy? I'm not stupid.
Please.
# I must
# Give the impression... # HE SIGHS
# ..That I have the answers
# For everything
# You were
# So disappointed
# To see me unravel
# So easily
# It's only change
# It's only everything
# I know
# It's only change
# And I'm only changing... #
Goodnight, Uncle RJ. Goodnight, kiddo.
# ..Lada, lada
# Ladadadadada
# Lada... # Moon's full, RJ.
See you in the morning.
# ..Lada, lada
# Ladadadadadada... # HE SIGHS
# ..Lada, ladadadadadada
# You want
# Something that's constant
# And I only wanted
# To be me
# But watch
# Even the stars above
# Things that seem still
# Are still changing... # LAUGHTER
# ..Lada, lada... # Hah!
I got ya! # ..Ladadadadada
# Lada, ladadadadadada... # Oh!
Is it done? Affirmative.
Did you put this one in? This de-pelter turbo?
That's a contraband item, ma'am, as it is illegal in every state...
except Texas. I don't care if this is against the Geneva Conventions!
I want it! CHUCKLING: I thought you might.
So I took the liberty of installing it for you.
Adios, animal infestation.
BEEPING
Agh! CLANGING
Oh, my! SHE CHUCKLES
# ..Lada, lada
# Ladadadadada
# Lada, ladadadadadada... # HE SIGHS
What have I done?
I shouldn't have taken all that food. What?
I shouldn't have taken all that food.
I was just trying to return things to the way they were.
I was just being cautious cos that's what I am. I'm naturally tentative.
There's even places in my shell I haven't been.
You, on the other hand, you're, like, cool and crazy
and fearless. I think they're right. I think I'm just jealous.
HE SIGHS Verne, believe me...
you should not be jealous of me.
You got a good thing here.
You're doing what's best for your family.
You're what's best for them now.
What about your tail?
Ah... My head says, "Listen to my tail," my tail says,
"Listen to my head." I just end up with an upset stomach.
That's why you need to be in charge now.
You don't really know what's going on here. And you do.
So, what's the problem? This, Verne, is the problem.
You see this? I'm listening. BEEPING
Just... Uh-huh. Just hang on a second, all right?
Hey, um, you the lady throwing the party? Yes, just to the right.
There are protective booties for you to put on over your shoes. Yes!
Yes! Um... Um, what is this?
What? Oh. That...
Mmm-hmm. ..is a list of all the stuff that you lost, Verne.
Really? It's a big list. You can see that.
Well, you're an...organised guy, aren't ya? Nice job.
I know a place that is so full of food,
we could get it all back in one night.
Great. Let's go! Where is it? Inside that house. What?
Agh! Oh! THUD!
What is the point of this thing? 'Just send it down.'
What Verne is trying to say is...
I mean, it's hard to sum it all up in just one word,
but... I'm sorry.
Ooh! Come here! Give me a hug!
THEY ALL CHATTER That's right!
OK, listen. Stay in the huddle. Here's the plan.
Now, the traps are set here, here, here, here...
..here, here, here,
here, here...here and here...
..here, here...
here, here,
big one here, here...
and maybe a few over here. Gee, is that all? No.
There's a bunch of red lights all over here. You OK, Verne?
You look a little green. I blacked out for a second there,
but I get the idea. Lights, traps. I may need to change my shell.
OK, this is us.
Can I be the car? I wanna be the car! I'm the car! You be the shoe!
Shoe is lame. Why don't you be that snazzy-looking iron there?
Hey! It's not important! Besides, I'm the car.
I'm always the car. Now, the plan works in three simple steps.
Step one, kill the lights. Step two, get inside.
Step three, get out with food. But this place is like a fortress.
Walls so high, doors impenetrable.
How will we get in? The collar is the key.
Literally, the collar. It's like a key that opens the door and...
And what? You think he'll just hand over his collar to you?
Not to me, my femme fatale. To you!
Her?! Me?! You, Stella. We'll get that cat to give you his collar
by using... My stink! Your feminine charms.
HE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY Was that out loud?
Look, raccoon, um, maybe that mask you're wearing
is obstructing your view, but...
if you haven't noticed, I'm a skunk.
On the outside, maybe, but I'm looking inside and I see a fox!
And all we gotta do is get her out.
BEEPING
Scissors! Scissors? Here. Woah! Hey! Hey! Watch the... Charcoal!
Charcoal? COUGHING
Air freshener. Tomato juice! Cork! Cork? Don't you dare!
Oh! BEEPING INCREASES
Get him! Score! Yeah! BEEPING
BUZZING
One more thing. Ow! Woah! Stop!
That's it. Ladies and gentlemen, our work here is done.
Oh, my! Big jeepers!
She's all, like, wow. What?
Oh.
Meow! Woah! Woah!
Gosh, she looks... Wow.
ALL: Ooh.
All right, gang, this is it. We're going in.
Agh! Gagh! Hagh!
Ha! Oh, not again. Dang it!
Those things are so life-like.
Curse you, plastic mouldsmen!
DOG BARKS
Agh! Eeh! Ogh!
OK, Hammy.
Woah! Hammy!
Go! Go, go, go! Go, go, go!
Go! No, no, no! No, no, no! No!
Agh! Hammy, I told you that cookie's junk!
But I want the cookie. What's going on? Agh!
Is everything OK?
Egh!
Aah...
Ah-ha! Here we go! Come on, Hammy. Come on. Follow the pretty light.
There it is. That's it.
That's it. That's it. There it is. Go get it.
Mmm-hmm. That's it. That's it.
Go get it, you little nut! BEEPING
Bingo!
OK, step two! I thought we'd be dead by step two, so this is going great!
OK, gorgeous, you're on.
Man, this better be one stupid cat.
Audio, go!
COW MOOS
She's supposed to be a cat. Put it on cat.
Let's hope the cat likes a cow.
Who goes there?!
You're a cat! You're a cat! You're a cat!
Um, I mean, I'm a cat. Um, meow.
Yeah, right(!) Shoo! Go on, get away from here.
My owner does not give scraps to common strays. Common strays?
All right, you asked for it. (Get the collar!)
Gee, that's a nice collar you got on. Mind if I have a look?
No, no, no, no! Come no closer!
I must not be so near a creature of the outdoor woods. Achoo!
Away with your filth! My filth?!
THEY GASP My filth?!
Oh, jeepers, here we go.
OK, listen! I am sick and tired of everybody taking one look at me
and running away cos they think I'm filthy!
Well, I got news for you! I didn't get all primped and preened
to have some over-fed papa's puff ball tell me he's too good for me!
I got make-up on my butt and you don't wanna know about the cork!
Stop! No-one has ever spoken to me like that!
THEY GASP
It is bold. I like it.
Well, believe me, there's more where that came from...puff ball!
All right, let's boogie.
You're strong. Your essence is...overpowering.
What do you mean by that? It is your eyes.
My eyes? They are...luminous.
Luminous. Dang!
I think this is the part where I blacked out.
Did the little shoes and cars actually get into the house?
So, you got a name? Yes, it is a Persian name
for I am Persian. I was born Prince Tigeriess Mahmood Shabaz.
Ooh. That's a mouthful. Can I just call you...Tiger?
Woah. ALL: Aaah.
Wicked, cool!
Animals are in the house.
ALL: Wow! Oh, my goodness.
CHATTERING Heh-heh! Yes!
OK, stations, everybody. Let's boogie.
We got it. Here we go. No grip! No grip! No grip! Help!
Hammy! Less claw, more pad. Oh, OK.
WHAP! Ugh! That hurt.
Ugh!
Uh-oh! TV NOISE
SHE MUTTERS
What was that? That's just the sound of my heart. Can't you hear it?
MEOW!
LOUD TV NOISE Wooooaaahhh!
This way! This way!
TV STOPS
SHE MUMBLES
OK, OK, we're good. Go back to work.
Ugh! Here you go.
Here, catch! Ugh!
Oh, boy. HE GASPS
Yes! We're gonna make it.
My father, he had an exceptionally flat face. Mmm-hmm.
It was so beautiful, he could barely breathe. Fascinating.
Inside, I have a multi-levelled climby thing with shag carpet.
Come, I'll show you. No! No, um, I haven't told you about MY life.
Good. Good. Going great, going great. BEEPING
What is that? That is what gets the humans out of bed in the morning.
THEY BOTH SCREAM
Where'd she go? Get down and stay down!
SHE YAWNS
Move! Move!
SHE GROANS
Come on! We've gotta go before she comes back!
No! Not without those Spuddies!
What? Lou, Penny, back to the TV. Heather, keep an eye on that human!
I'm on it, RJ. No, Heather, wait!
The tingle! The tingle! RJ, the wagon's full. Let's get out of here.
Hang on, Vincent! This'll only take a second! Vincent? Where?!
Who's Vincent? Oh. Verne, Vincent, simple slip of the bear... Tongue!
I... Er... Um, just bear with me is what I meant to say. Heh-heh!
There's no bear. BOTTLES CLINK
CLINKING CONTINUES Hmm? Oh!
Lights fading...limbs growing... Agh!
Heather?
Oh! SHE GAGS
Oh!
Oh, Heather!
There's a dead, white rat on my staircase!
I thought you were dead. I learned from the best, Dad.
That's my girl.
No! Come to Papa!
We better hurry. We don't have much time.
What's going on? Nothing! Let's get out of here,
because we have what we need. No, we don't! What are you talking about?
We have more than enough! Listen! I've got this long to hand over
that wagonload of food to a homicidal bear!
And if these Spuddies aren't on the menu, then I will be! Now, let go!
What? Let go!
Agh!
Hey! Woah! SMASHING AND CLATTERING
Huh? Oh!
Um, I'm sorry. I gotta go. Stella! Stella! Where are you going?
Stella-a-a-a-a!
Agggghhhh!
Oh! Stella! Look, it's not you. It won't work, OK?
Because I'm a... Agh! ..a... SKUNK!
Yeah, that. Aggghhh! Sorry you have to see this. Fire in the hole!
COUGHING: Oh, my... Oh! This smell doesn't bother you?
No. This face was bred for beauty. I cannot smell a thing.
You...can't smell.
To the door! Go, go, go, go, go, go! SHE GAGS
Run! THEY ALL CHATTER
THEY ALL GASP Let's party!
THEY ALL SHOUT Bunnies! Agh! Ogh!
Flee, my love! Ugh! Agh!
Run! That way! Outside! THEY ALL CHATTER
ALL: Oh!
GUN COCKS Buenos dias, reptile.
Agh! Ugh! You've just been verminated.
HE LAUGHS, THEN SNIFFS Woah. You stink.
That's because you let them into my...house!
Those... Hey, Nancy, stop your honking.
These little guys'll be disposed of quickly and humanely. No!
Not humanely! As inhumanely as possible!
It was a pleasure doing business with you, ma'am.
WAGON WHEELS SQUEAK
What's he gonna do to us, Mama? I... I don't know, baby.
I don't wanna die, Dad. Not for real.
There, there, there, sweetheart. We'll be OK.
You were right about him, Verne. We should have listened. Sorry.
No...
I knew we couldn't trust him
and I got us into this.
I should have known better.
WAGON WHEELS SQUEAK
Wow! Ha-ha! Vincent.
So I was on my way down here to kill you,
but I stopped to watch the show and I gotta say...
..that right there... is a thing of beauty.
That is the most vicious, deceitful,
self-serving thing I've ever seen.
Heh-heh-heh! Classic RJ.
You take the food... and they take the fall.
ENGINE REVS
You keep this up, you're gonna end up just like me...
having everything you ever wanted.
But I already had that.
What? Them?
Who are you kidding? You said it yourself.
You're a family of one. Always will be.
It's how guys like you and me survive.
So a few saps got hurt in the process.
Tough. That's life. Trust me. You don't need them.
Actually...I do.
And right now, they really need me!
So I really need this!
RJ!
Agh! TYRES SCREECH
What the...? Oof! TYRES SCREECH
Oh! There goes the back again. Are you OK?
THEY ALL GROAN
You sorry sack of wet dog... Woah, Stella! This is a rescue!
I'm rescuing you!
I'm gonna gas you so hard, your grandchildren'll stink! Bear!
What's that? Bear! Hair? Bear! Air? Bear!
Oh, bear! Grr! Agh!
ENGINE REVS AND TYRES SCREECH
THEY ALL SHOUT
Ugh! What?
Woah!
We're out of control! We can drive. It's just like Auto Homicide III.
What?
BEAR GROWLS Aggghhh! Hey!
Let me in! Wrong button! Wrong button! Grr! Agh!
SATNAV: 'Please select destination.' Take us home!
Take us to the log! 'Previous destination selected.
'Make illegal U-turn.' You got it!
Agh! Hammy! Let me in!
Not listening to you, RJ! La-La-la... Kids, lose that bear!
What weapons do we have? We've got a hammer! Cool!
Agh! Ogh! You little... Grr!
Agh!
Thank you! Yes, yes! Hey, let me in!
Let me in! No, ring-tailed charlatan! Ozzie!
He's just trying to help us. Just let him in! After what he did to us?
But he came back. BEAR GROWLS
And he brought a bear! THEY ALL CHATTER AT ONCE
Hey! No fighting while we're driving!
We will turn this van around, mister!
He started it. I'm telling you, he's just trying to help us. Really.
But, Verne, you're the one who always says trust your tail.
But it's not tingling. ALL: Ooh!
Why didn't you say so? Hey!
Thanks! Thank you!
Grr! THEY ALL SHOUT
You're dead, RJ! ALL: Aah! And your friends are next!
Look out! BEAR ROARS
SATNAV: 'Make an immediate left turn.'
Woah!
Bonus points! SCREAMING
Oh!
THEY ALL SHOUT Agh! Ogh! Aggghhh!
SCRAPING
Grr! THEY ALL CHEER
Aaagggghhhh! RJ!
Agh! Look out! High score!
No, no, no, no, no, no!
HORN HONKS Agggghhh!
SATNAV: 'You have arrived.'
THEY ALL GROAN Is everybody all right?
Huh? Come on. We gotta go. Agh! Ogh!
The old jazz dance injury. Oh!
Come on! Come on! Go, go, go.
Did we make it? All right! Yes! Lou? Penny?
The kids here? Yes. Hammy? Scary clown.
THEY ALL YELL
THUD! Grr!
Grr! Look out! THEY ALL SHOUT
Agh! Ha-ha!
WHIRRING
A weed hacker, Verne! A weed hacker!
Yah! THEY ALL SHOUT
Show your little rat faces! Filthy creatures!
Grr! Stay in the woods, where you belong!
Look out! 'Grr!'
Hyah! BEAR ROARS
Ha-ha... Oof!
You guys wanna party, do ya? All right, then, let's party!
TOOL HUMS
SHOUTING Grr!
SHOUTING Kids! Penny, move!
Look out! THEY ALL SHOUT
Down! Ogh!
'Grr!' That's it! Verne, get everybody out of here.
Huh? I'll distract him. He'll kill you!
I'm the one he wants! Just take care of your family, Verne. I intend to,
the whole family! There's gotta be something we can do. No time!
BOTH: Hammy! Ogh! Ogh!
Ahh.
Grr! Hey, Vincent, you were right.
With a Spuddie, enough just isn't enough.
RJ! Grr!
Now, Hammy! Go! Go! 'Grr!' Ooh! Agh! Blagh!
Woah! HE BABBLES
MUSIC SLOWS DOWN
MUSIC STOPS
HE HUMS
HE CONTINUES TO HUM
HUMMING CONTINUES
Hmm.
Um... Ha. BEEPING
HE SNIFFS
Hmm?
# I got the cookie
# I got the cookie... #
HE CONTINUES TO HUM
HE LAUGHS
THEY YELL
ALARM BLARES
BUZZING
ALARM BLARES Huh! Agh!
Huh? That's the... The de-pelter turbo.
Prepare for a lot of stinging.
'Oh, no! No, no! No, no! Ogh!'
SHOUTING
SHOUTING CONTINUES
POPCORN POPS
CLANGING
THEY ALL MOAN
Whoo-hoo! Yeah! We did it!
Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
Nice teamwork. Come here, Hammy. Come here. You are a genius, my boy.
Oh, thank... BURPING: ..you!
Eegh! And, Verne, don't you ever fix this shell!
Yeah. Glad it's working for ya. Take it off, give it back.
BEAR GROANS Here we go.
Off to the Rockies for you, Smokey.
You do realise that was a de-pelter turbo. Officer, please!
It was the Verminator! He sold it to me! This has nothing to do with me!
It was in your yard, your name's on the contract so tell it to the judge!
No! It's not my fault! Ma'am! I can't be arrested! Excuse me.
I'm president of the Homeowner's Association! Agh! Take her down!
Ugh! She's getting away! Ugh! Oh! THEY ALL SHOUT
Get her! My shoes! Ma'am. H-yah! Hey, can I get a little help?
OK. Ugh! Ogh! SQUEAKING
Play? Oh, no. No, no. No, no!
CRUNCH! Agh!
Yay! Gimme five! It worked! It worked! We did it!
We did it! Whoo! All right! Oh, yeah. 'Stella!'
Stella! Over here, Tiger. Oh, Stella!
Ah. So this...is the outdoor woods?
I like it. Come on, big boy. You're coming with me.
You know, RJ, um...just for the record,
if you'd told us that all that food you were trying to get
was to pay back an angry bear, we would have given it to you.
Really? Yeah. That's what families do. They look out for each other.
I've never really had anything like that. I know. But believe me...
this...this is the gateway to the good life.
I wish you'd told me that sooner.
Well, that's bad communication, also something families do.
So, what do you say? Do you wanna be part of it?
Oh, come here! Come here! Oh! I promised I wouldn't do this!
HE SOBS
Welcome to the family. Group hug! All right!
OK. Whoo! Awesome! Here we go. What a first week of spring, huh?
Wait a minute! That means there's only 267 days left till winter!
What are we gonna do for food? Oh! Oh, oh, oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh, oh, oh! Yes...Hammy? I filled the log.
Um, what the...? Woah-ho-ho! Look, look!
I found my nuts! Ooh!
# We're rocking the suburbs
# From family feud to Chevy Chase...
Grr! # ..We're rocking the suburbs
# We numb the muscles in our face
# We're rocking the suburbs
# We feed the dog and mow the lawn
# Watching Mommy balance the cheques
# While Daddy juggles credit cards
# Let me tell y'all what it's like
# Watching Idol on a Friday night
# In a house built safe and sound
# On Indian burial ground
# Sham on
# We drive our cars every day
# To and from work both ways
# So we make just enough to pay
# To drive our cars to work each day
# Hey, hey
# We're rocking the suburbs
# Around the block just one more time
# We're rocking the suburbs
# Cos I can't tell which house is mine
# We're rocking the suburbs... # BURP!
# ..We part the shades and face the facts
# They got better-looking fescue
# Right across the cul-de-sac
# Hot real estate, rising stars
# Get-rich-quick seminars
# Soap opera magazines
# 40,000-watt nativity scenes
# Don't freak about the smoke alarm
# Mom left the TV dinner on
# Yeah, we're rocking the suburbs
# From family feud to Chevy Chase
# We're rocking the suburbs
# We numb the muscles in our face
# We're rocking the suburbs
# We feed the dog and mow the lawn
# Watching Mommy balance the cheques
# While Daddy juggles credit cards... #
That, my friends, is the object of all human attention and devotion
and they call it a TV. Wicked, cool!
Humans feel a deep inner need to connect with the world around them.
That is super. They also feel a need to sit on their fat butts.
Watching TV fulfils both needs at the same time. Wow. Interesting.
Come on, kids. Family time in front of the TV. Got your snack food?
Fire bell! Fire bell! I can't find the remote.
Hey, Spiky, race ya. Has anybody seen the remote? Dad, chill.
I could do a little TV. Today, we find out if the baby is gifted,
or if Saxon is really an alien. Just like Khan in Star Trek II!
The Genesis project was in the hands of the Enterprise,
but Khan had his perfect plan to steal the invention!
Well, that was specific. I saw it on TNT. They did a retrospective.
Gummy worm, anybody? Ah, let me have one.
Pass this to Lou. Mmm, taste this.
What you got? Share! Don't take that! This is the perfect food.
Fat-free cookies? You might as well eat dirt. I've had dirt!
I don't like dirt. It tastes like dirt! Shh! The show's starting.
# ..We're rocking the suburbs
# Everything we need is here Yeah!
# We're rocking the suburbs
# But it wasn't here last year
# We're rocking the suburbs
# You'll never know when we are gone
# Because the timer lights the pond
# And turns the cricket noises on
# Each night
# Yeah, yeah
# We're rocking the suburbs
# Everything we need is here Yeah!
# We're rocking the suburbs
# But it wasn't here last year
# We're rocking the suburbs
# You'll never know when we are gone
# Because the timer lights the pond
# And turns the cricket noises on
# Each night
# Yeah, yeah
# We're rocking the suburbs
# Everything we need is here Yeah!
# We're rocking the suburbs
# But it wasn't here last year
# We're rocking the suburbs
# You'll never know when we are gone
# Because the timer lights the pond
# And turns the cricket noises on
# Each night
# Yeah, yeah... #
CLANKING AND BANGING
Let's see. Hang on. Hang on a minute.
And... HAMMY CHATTERS
THEY ALL CHEER Woo-hoo! All right!
Yes! Here we go.
Kind of anticlimactic. Shoot!