# Singing in the rain, just singing in the rain,
# What a glorious feeling, we're happy again.
# We'll walk down the lane, with a happy refrain.
# Singing, just singing in the rain. #
'This is Dora Bailey, talking to you from in front
'of the Chinese Theatre in
Hollywood.
'What a night, Ladies and Gentlemen!'
Every star in Hollywood is here -
making Monumental Pictures' premiere
of 'The Royal Rascal'
the outstanding event of 1927.
'Everyone is breathlessly awaiting Lina Lamont and Don Lockwood.
'Ooh! Look who's arriving now!
'The famous biff-girl of the screen,
darling of the flappers - Zelda Zanders!'
ZELDA! OH, ZELDA!
'With her is J. Cumberland-Spendrill III - that well-known, eligible bachelor!'
Zelda's had so much unhappiness, I hope this time it's really love!
Here comes that exotic star - Olga Mara!
And her new husband -
the Baron de la Bouvet de la Toulon.
They've been married two months already, but still as happy as newly-weds!
Well, well, well!
It's Cosmo Brown!
Cosmo is Don Lockwood's best friend.
He plays piano on the set, to get them into those romantic moods!
Oh, folks, this is it... THIS IS IT!
TREMENDOUS CHEERING
The stars of the picture, those romantic screen lovers -
Don Lockwood and Lina Lamont!
When you look at this gorgeous couple, it's no wonder they're a household name world-wide!
Like bacon and eggs!
Lockwood...and Lamont!
SCREAMS AND CHEERS
Tell me confidentially, are these rumours of wedding bells true?
Lina and I have no statement. We're just good friends.
You've come a long way together. Tell us how it happened.
Lina and I have made a number of pictures.
No, Don, I want your story from the beginning. Oh, Dora, not in front of all these people!
SCREAMS OF 'YES'
The story of your success is an inspiration to young people.
Please!
CHEERS
Well, any story of mine would have to include my lifelong friend - Cosmo Brown.
We were kids together, grew up and worked together. Yes?
Dora, I've had one motto that I've always lived by - dignity, always dignity!
This was instilled in me by Mom and Dad at the beginning.
They sent me to the finest schools, including dancing school. That's where I first met Cosmo.
And with him I used to perform for Mom and Dad's society friends.
'They'd make such a fuss over me.
'If I was good I would accompany Mom and Dad to the theatre.
'They brought me up on Shaw and Moliere - the finest of the classics.'
To this was added musical training at the Conservatory of Fine Arts.
'Then we rounded our apprenticeship at an exclusive dramatics academy.'
'And at all times the motto remained - dignity, always dignity!'
In a few years, Cosmo and I embarked on a dance concert-tour. We played at the finest venues.
# Fit as a fiddle and ready for love,
# I could jump over the moon up above.
# Fit as a fiddle and ready for love.
# Haven't a worry, haven't a care,
# Feel like a feather, floating on air.
# Fit as a fiddle and ready for love.
# Soon the church bells will be ringing,
# And I'll march with Ma and Pa.
# How those church bells will be ringing,
# With a hey-nonny-nonny and a hot-cha-cha!
# Hi-diddle-diddle,
my baby's OK,
# Ask me a riddle, Oh, what does she say?
# Fit as a fiddle and ready for love. #
'Audiences everywhere adored us.
JEERING
'Finally, we decided to come to sunny California.
'We were strand... staying here resting up, when the offers from movie studios poured in.
'We sorted them out and decided to favour Monumental Pictures.'
OK, Lina, you're resisting him... keep the mood music going...
Now, Phil...you come in...
See her... Now, Bert, here's the bit
where you get it...
CUT! No, that wasn't right, Bert!
You're meant to go over the bar. Try it again, OK, Bert?
Oh, that's just SWELL! Take him away, fellas!
We've lost more stunt-men on this picture...It'll take hours to get a new one over!
Mr Dexter, I can do that for you.
You're a musician!
That's a moot point!
No kidding? What's your name?
Don Lockwood, sir.
OK, I'll try you.
Get this guy into Bert's suit!
Remember, Lockwood, you might be trading your fiddle for a harp!
Camera!
OK, Phil...now you see her...
Here's where you get it on the jaw!
CUT! That was wonderful!
Got any more little chores you want done?
Plenty!
OK!
'My roles in these films were urbane, sophisticated and suave.'
And, of course, all through those pictures, Lina was, as always, an inspiration to me.
Warm and helpful - a real lady.
Hello, Miss Lamont, I'm Don Lockwood, the stunt-man.
It was a thrill working with you.
< Hey, Don!
Don, meet the producer, Mr R F Simpson. Hello.
I asked Dexter who the team of stunt-men were. He said YOU.
I'm going to put you and Lina in a picture. We'll discuss contracts.
Thanks, Mr Simpson!
Are you doing anything tonight?
That's funny...I'm busy!
'Well, Lina and I have had the same wonderful relationship ever since.'
But most importantly, I continue living up to my motto -
dignity, always dignity!
CHEERS AND SCREAMS
I'm sure you and Lina will continue making movie history
in tonight's picture, 'The Royal Rascal'.
Get enough, boys?
She's so refined! I think I'll KILL myself!
ECSTATIC APPLAUSE
Thank you, Ladies and Gentlemen. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
We're thrilled with your response to The Royal Rascal. We had fun making it and hope you enjoyed it.
We screen actors aren't much good at speaking in public, so we'll just act out our thanks.
It's a smash! Yes, Mr Simpson?
Lina, you looked good for a girl!
WHAT'S THE IDEA? CAIN'T A GOIRL GET A WORD IN?
THEY'RE MY PUBLIC TEW!
The publicity department thought it best that Don make the speeches.
WHY?!!
Lina, people think you have a voice to match your looks. Stars must not look ridiculous at any cost.
No-one has THAT much money!
WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY VOICE? AM I DUMB, OR SOMETHIN'?
NO, but Don's had
so much more experience...
NEXT TIME, WRITE ME A SPEECH, I COULD MIMORISE IT.
Go out now and recite the Gettysburg Address.
WHAT DO YEW KNOW, YEW PIANO PLAYER!
ARE YEW ANYBODY?
DONNY, DON'T LET HIM TALK TO YER FIANCEE-E LIKE THAT.
My fian...Lina, you've been reading the fan magazines!
Look, you shouldn't believe all the banana-oil they dish out.
Try to remember. There is nothing between us.
There has NEVER been anything... Just air!
DONNY, YEW DON'T MEAN THAT. C'MON, WE'LL BE LAYTE.
Better take separate cars!
DONNY, SEE YEW THAYRE.
Donny! What's the matter with her? Can't she take a gentle hint?
Don't you know - she's irresistible. Told me so herself!
I can't get her away from me! The price of fame, Don!
You have to take the heartaches with the glory!
Look at me! I got no fame, no glory, no big mansions, no money, but I got...
..what have I got? I don't know. I gotta get out of here!
BANG!
Don't tell me! A flat tyre! I don't understand it. This car hasn't given trouble in six hours!
< Don Lockwood!
Hi, kids!
I want a souvenir!
I want one, too!
Me, too!
Hey! Watch it!
Hey, Cos, call me a cab!
OK, you're a cab!
Thanks a lot (!)
Lady, keep driving! Get OUT!
Just a few blocks... DON'T HURT ME!
I'm not a criminal!
Oh...You are! I've seen your face!
I've seen your picture in the paper with numbers on your chest! OFFICER!
Officer, this man...
Why, it's Don Lockwood!
Don Lockwood?
Out for a joyride?
Just a lift, Officer. My car broke down and my fans...
You're a lucky lady! Anything wrong?
Why, no.
Well, goodnight, Mr Lockwood.
'Night, Officer.
Well, thanks for saving my life.
I'll go. Can I drop you some place
in Beverly Hills?
I need a new suit. Can you go to Sunset and Camden?
All right!
I'd very much like to know whose hospitality I'm sharing. Selden...Kathy Selden.
Enchanted, Miss Selden.
Sorry I frightened you. I was
getting LOVE from my adoring fans!
THAT'S what you were running from! They did that to you? That's TERRIBLE!
Yes, it is, isn't it?
It IS terrible.
Well, we movie stars must take the heartaches with the glory!
People think we lead lives of glamour and romance, but we're really VERY lonely.
Terribly lonely! Oh, I can't say how sorry I was about taking you for a criminal before.
But it was understandable -
I knew I'd seen you!
Which of my pictures have you seen?
I don't remember - I saw one, once.
You saw one, ONCE? Yes, I think you were duelling - and there was a girl...Lina Lamont!
I don't go to the movies much. Seen one - seen them all!
Thanks! No offence! Movies are
entertaining enough for the masses.
The personalities don't impress ME!
They don't talk or act - just a lot of dumb-show!
Like that! Like what I do!
Well...yes! Here we are!
Wait a minute! You mean, I'm not an actor because I'm on screen? Of course not!
Acting means speaking glorious words - Shakespeare, Ibsen!
What's YOUR lofty mission in life that lets you sneer at me? ..I'm an actress - on the stage!
Oh! I'd like to see you act - what're you in?
I could bring an interpreter (!)
IF they'd let in a MOVIE actor!
I'm not in a play now, but I'm going
to New York... Oh! New York! Then,
some day, we'll ALL hear of you!
Kathy Selden as Juliet,
Lady Macbeth, KING LEAR - you'll
have to wear a beard for THAT (!)
At least the stage is dignified! What makes YOU so conceited ?!
You're a SHADOW on film! You're not flesh and blood!
Oh, no? What can I do? I'm only a shadow! Keep away from me!
Just because you're a movie star you expect every girl at your feet! Well, don't you touch ME!
Fear not, sweet lady!
I am but a humble jester and YOU...
you are too far above me!
Farewell, Ethel Barrymore!
I must tear myself from your side!
RIP-P-P!
Is this R F Simpson's house?
I'm from the floor show.
Oh, yes, go round the back, please.
Thank you.
TANGO MUSIC
Nice party!
Thanks, Roscoe.
Mr Brown, can you really get me in the movies? I should think so.
Loved the picture, Don!
How did you come? Via Australia?
Cos, am I a good actor?
As long as I work for Monumental,
you're the greatest of 'em all!
No kidding, you can tell me. What's up? Of course you're good.
Keep telling me, I feel a little shaken. Oh, the new Don Lockwood!
Hi, RF! Where've you been? We kept the show back for you.
OH DONNY! I WOS LONELY! Hello, Lina.
Together again! My two little stars!
Don and Lina - aren't they great?
All right! Open that screen!
We've just seen a movie! Gotta show one - a Hollywood law!
I've got a surprise! Everybody, sit down.
This will give you a lot of laughs. This man came into my office and...
Got that gadget working?
< Yes, Mr Simpson.
Run it!
VERY LOUD RUSTLING OF PAPER
"Hello, this is a demonstration of a talking picture.
"Notice, it is a picture of me and I am talking.
"Note how my lips and the sounds issuing from them
"are synchronised together in perfect unison."
Who's that?
Someone's behind the screen.
Come out, Mr Simpson!
No, I'm here.
"My voice has been recorded on a record. A talking picture.
"Thank you.
"Goodbye."
Just a toy!
It's a SCREAM!
It's VULGAR!
Warner Brothers are making a picture
with it - The Jazz Singer.
Dexter?
It'll never catch on!
They said THAT about cars!
Let's get on with the show!
SIMPSON:
It's a very special cake
for you both.
If it isn't Ethel Barrymore!
I hope you'll favour us with something special!
Hamlet's soliloquy(?) Romeo and Juliet(?)
Don't be shy, you'd make the prettiest Juliet I've seen!
# All I do is dream of you the whole night through.
# With the dawn I still go on dreaming of you.
# You're every thought, you're everything, you're every song I ever sing.
# Summer, winter, autumn and spring!
# And were there more than 24 hours a day,
# They'd be spent in sweet content dreaming away.
# When skies are grey,
when skies are blue,
morning, noon and night-time, too,
# All I do the whole day through is dream of you! #
Cat's Meow!
# All I do the whole day through is dream of you! #
I had to say how good you were!
Excuse me!
Now that I know where you live, can I see you home?
SAY! WHO'S THIS DAME ENYWAY ?
Someone lofty - far above US (!) She couldn't learn from the movies!
Here's one thing I've learned from the movies!
OH! OH! AHOOOOWWW!
LINA! SHE WAS AIMING AT ME!
Lina, you never looked lovelier!
It was an accident! Happens all the time!
DONNY ?!
Oh!
Where did Miss Selden go? She bolted!
Anything I can do?
Sorry!
KATHY! HEY, KATHY!
HEY!
'More action, boys!'
'More steam in the kettle!'
Hi, Maxie! Hi, Don.
Morning, fellas! Hi, Don!
See Variety? The Jazz Singer is a smash in the first week!
Flop in the second!
We start today. I'm Count Pierre de Boutille, the Duelling Cavalier!
What's it about? A French Revolution story...
She's a simple girl of the people and won't even give you a TUMBREL!
Well, it's a living!
Why not release the old picture under a new title? Seen one - seen 'em all!
Hey!
Why did you say that? What's wrong? That's what Kathy Selden said.
That's 3 weeks ago! You still thinking about it?
I can't get her out of my mind! How could you? She's the first dame who hasn't fallen for you!
It's not your fault she lost her job! I must find her.
You've been trying, haven't you? I suppose so.
Come on, snap out of it! You're Don Lockwood, aren't you?
And Don Lockwood's an actor.
What does an actor learn? The show must go on!
Come rain, come shine, the show must go on!
So, ridi, Pagliacci! Ridi!
Ridi? Yeah!
# The world is so full of a number of things, I'm sure we should all be as happy as...
# But are we? No.
# Definitely, no! Positively, no! Decidedly, no!...Uh-huh!
# Short people have long faces,
# And long people have short faces.
# Big people have little humour and little people have no humour at all! #
And in the words of the bard, Samuel J Snodgrass, as he was being led to the guillotine...
# Make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh,
# Don't you know everyone wants to laugh - HA!
# My dad said, "Be an actor, my son,
# But be a comical one!"
# They'll be standing in lines
# For those old honky-tonk monkey-shines.
# Now you could study Shakespeare
and be quite elite,
# And you can charm the critics and have nothing to eat,
# Just slip on a banana-peel, the world's at your feet!
# Make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh,
make 'em laugh!
# Make 'em...
# Make 'em laugh.
# Don't you know everyone wants to laugh?
# My grandpa said, "Go out and tell 'em a joke,
# But give it plenty of hoke!"
# Make 'em roar, make 'em scream!
# Take a fall, butt a wall, split a seam.
# You start off by pretending you're a dancer with grace,
# You wiggle till they're giggling all over the place,
# And then you get a great big custard-pie in the face!
# Make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh!
# Make 'em laugh!
# Don't you...every...
wants to...
# My dad...
# They'll be standing in lines,
# For those old honky-tonk monkey-shines.
# Make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh!
# Don't you know, everyone...
# Ah-ha-ha-ha, ah-ha-ha,
ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
# Ah-ha-ha-ha, ah-ha-ha,
ha-ha-ha-ha-ha,
# Ah-ha-ha-ha, ah-ha-ha,
ha-ha-ha-ha-HA!
# Make 'em laugh!
# Make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh, MAKE 'EM LAUGH! #
Ready, Don?
All set!
Here we go! I think it's a smash!
I hope so! I know so!
Where's Lina?
Here, Mr Dexter.
Our lovely leading lady!
GEE! THIS WIG WEIGHS A TUN!
WHAT DOPE'D WEAR THIS THING?
Everybody did.
THEN EVERYBODY WOS A DOPE!
Let's get on set!
I DIDN'T SEE YEW LAST NIGHT, WHERE WERE YEW? I've been busy.
YEAH! BUSY LOOKING FER THAT GOIRL!
Yes! WHY ?
I'm worried about her.
WURRY ABOUT ME A LITTLE! I GOT THE CREEM IN MY KISSER!
You didn't lose your job, she did!
DARN TOOTIN' SHE DID! I ARRANGED IT!
What? THEY WOULDN'T FIRE HER, SO I TOLD 'EM, THEY BETTER!
OK, Don.
You're madly in love with her, but she's shy!
Cosmo, mood music!
Roll 'em!
OK, Don...now enter!
You see her!
Run to her!
(You rattlesnake! You got the poor kid fired!)
(THAT'S NOT ALL I'LL DO IF I GIT MY HANDS ON HER!)
(I never heard anything so low!)
Looks great!
(What did you do it for?) (YEW LIKED HER, I COULD TELL!)
(So that's it! Believe me, I don't like her half as much as I HATE you!)
(You reptile!) (STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES.)
(I'll break every bone you have!)
(YEW AND WHO ELSE?)
Now, kiss her!
'That's it! More! More! Cut!'
DONNY! YEW COULDN'T KISS ME LIKE THAYT AND NOT MEAN IT!
Meet the greatest actor alive!
I'd rather kiss a TARANTULA! YEW DON'T MEAN THAYT!
Hey, Joe, bring me a tarantula!
Enough, love-birds! Let's get another take.
HOLD IT, DEXTER!
It's good, Mr Simpson!
Stop rolling at once!
EVERYBODY, SAVE IT!
Tell them to go home. We're shutting down for a few weeks.
EVERYBODY GO HOME!
What's the problem?
The Jazz Singer is the problem!
JOLSON IMPRESSION
# Ma darling little mammy...
It's no joke, Cosmo!
It's a sensation! The public is screaming for more talking pictures!
It's a freak!
We should have such a freak here!
I knew that talkies were a menace! Don, we're going to make the Duelling Cavalier into a talking picture!
That means I'm out of a job! I can start writing that symphony!
No, you're head of the new Music Department! Thanks, RF!
Now wait, Mr Simpson! Talkies! I think...
Everyone's jumping on the band-wagon and we won't be left out!
We know nothing about this gadget! Do the same things, but add talking!
It'll be a sensation! LAMONT AND LOCKWOOD...THEY TALK!
OF COURSE WE TALK! DON'T EVERYBODY?
# Vo-do-do-di-o, vo-do-do-di-o, vo-do-do-di-o-do! Oooh!
# I got a feeling you're fooling, I got a feeling you're having fun,
# I get to go by when you are done...#
# It's a holiday, today's the wedding of the painted doll. #
# May I reveal exactly how I feel...#
# Vo-do-do-di-o...#
# I got a feeling you're...#
# Ooh wacka-doo...#
# It's a holiday...#
# Should I reveal exactly...#
# Vo-do-di-o, do-di-o...#
#...fooling...#
# Ooh wacka-doo...#
# It's a...# # Vo-di-o...#
# Should...#
# Ooh wacka-doo, wacka-doo! #
# Beautiful girl, you're a lovely picture.
# Beautiful girl, you're a gorgeous mixture.
# A ball of light under the big, blue sky.
# My heart cries! #
Who's the girl on his right?
#...You're a dazzling eyeful...#
I featured her before.
That must be it.
She'd be good as Zelda's sister!
Excuse me!
# There may be blondes and brunettes
that are hard to resist.
# You surpass them like a queen.
# You've got those lips that were meant to be kissed.
# And you're over sweet 16!
# Oh! Beautiful girl, what a gorgeous creature.
# Beautiful girl, let me call the preacher.
# What can I do? But give my heart to you. #
A beautiful girl is like a great work of art.
She's stylish! She's chic!
# And she also is smart!
# For lounging in her boudoir, this simple, plain pyjama.
# Her cloak is trimmed with monkey-fur, to lend a dash of drama!
# Anyone for tennis? Well, this will make them cringe.
# And you'll knock 'em dead at dinner, if your gown just drips with fringe!
# You simply can't be too modest at the beach or by the pool.
# And in summer-time, it's organdy
that'll keep you fresh and cool.
# You'd never guess what loud applause this cunning hat receives.
# And you'd never dream the things that you could hide within these sleeves!
# A string of pearls with a suit of tweed - it started quite a riot!
# And if you must wear fox to the opera, Dame Fashion says "Dye it!"
# Black is best when you're in court. The judge will be impressed!
# But white is right when you're a bride
# and you want to be well-dressed.
# Beautiful girl, for you I've got a passion.
# Beautiful girl, you're my queen of fashion.
# I'm in a whirl...
# Over my beautiful girl! #
That's stupendous!
Thanks!
Kathy, come here!
It'll start a new trend.
Mr Simpson might cast you
as Zelda's sister.
That's wonderful!
Kathy! >
Kathy Selden!
Thanks anyway, it was nice of you.
Before Mr Lockwood refreshes your memory, I'm the girl that hit Miss Lamont with the cake!
It was MEANT for Mr Lockwood!
Goodbye, I should've told you!
Hang on! What is this?
We were going to feature Kathy, but
if you and Lina will be unhappy...
It's WONDERFUL! He's been looking for her for weeks!
That go for Lina, too? The owner of the Coconut Grove might do what Lina says, but you OWN the studio!
Yes! She's hired! Don't let Lina know she's here.
Thank you! Glad you're here, we've
looked in every cake in town!
Can you be seen publicly with me? Lofty star with humble player?
No, but aren't you having lunch with Miss Lamont?
All that stuff about Lina and me is sheer publicity!
It certainly seems more than that.
From what I've read in the columns and all those fan-magazines...
Ohhh! You read the fan magazines!
Well..I pick them up in the dentist,
just like anybody.
Honest? Well, I buy four or five a month.
You buy four or...
Well, you and Miss Lamont do achieve an intimacy in all your pictures...
Did you say, ALL my pictures?
I guess, now that I think of it, I have seen eight or nine of them.
Eight or nine? I remember someone saying, "If you've seen one - you've seen them all!"
I DID say some awful things!
No, I deserved them.
Of course, I must admit that they upset me.
So upset, I haven't been able to think of anything but you, since.
Honest?
Honest.
Well, I've been pretty upset, too. Kathy!
Kathy, look, I... Kathy, seeing you again, now...
Kathy, I'm trying to say something
but I'm such a ham!
I guess I'm not able to, without the setting. What?
Well...
Come here.
This is the proper setting!
Why, it's just an empty stage!
At first glance, yes, but wait a second.
A beautiful sunset...
mist from the distant mountains...
..coloured lights in a garden.
A lady is standing on her balcony in a rose-trellis bower...
..flooded with moonlight.
We add 500,000 kilowatts of star-dust...
a soft summer breeze...
..and... You look lovely there, Kathy.
Now that you have the setting, can you say it?
I'll try.
# Life was a song,
you came along,
# I've laid awake the whole night through.
# If I ever dared to think you cared,
# This is what I'd say to you.
# You were meant for me.
# I was meant for you.
# Nature patterned you and when she was done,
# You were all the sweet things rolled up in one.
# You're like a plaintive melody
# That never lets me free.
# But I'm content.
# The angels must've sent you
# And they meant you just for me. #
# But I'm content.
# The angels must've sent you
# And they meant you just for me. #
Now...Ta Tay Tee Toe Too.
TAR TAIY TEEE TOW TEW.
No, Miss Lamont - round tones, round tones!
Let me hear you read your lines.
AND I CAIN'T STEND HIM.
And I can't stand him.
AND I CAIN'T STEND HIM!
Can't!
CAIN'T!
Ca-a-an't!
CAI-AI-N'T!
Can't! Can't!
Good. Now...ar-round the r-rocks the r-rugged r-rascal r-ran.
Around the rocks the rugged... No, no.
R-rocks...r-rocks.
Ar-round the r-rocks the r-rugged r-rascal r-ran.
Go on.
Oh, don't mind me.
Sinful Caesar sipped his snifter, seized his knees and sneezed!
Sinful Caesar snipped his sifter. No, sipped his snifter!
Sipped his snifter(!) Thank you.
Sinful Caesar sipped his snifter,
seized his knees and sneezed.
Marvellous! Wonderful!
Here's one - Chester chooses chestnuts, cheddar cheese with chewy chives.
He chews them and he chooses them. He chooses them and he chews them.
Those chestnuts, cheddar cheese and chives, in cheery, charming chunks!
Wonderful! Do another one!
Moses supposes his toeses are roses,
but Moses supposes erroneously.
Moses, he knowses his toeses aren't roses.
As Moses supposes his toeses to be.
Moses supposes his toeses are roses,
but Moses supposes erroneously.
But Moses he knowses his toeses aren't roses,
as Moses supposes his toeses to be!
BOTH: Moses supposes his toeses are roses,
but Moses supposes erroneously.
A Mose is a Mose. A rose is a rose.
A toes is a toes!
# Hup-de-do-de-doodle!
Don & Cosmo
# Moses supposes his toes are roses,
but Moses supposes erroneously.
# For Moses he knowses
# his toeses aren't roses, as Moses supposes his toeses to be!
# Moses.
Moses supposes his toeses are roses
# Moses.
Moses supposes erroneously.
# Moses.
He knowses his toeses aren't roses,
# As Moses supposes his toeses to be
# A rose is a rose is a rose is a roses.
# A rose is what Moses supposes his toes is.
# It couldn't be a lilly or a taffy daffy-dilly.
# It's gotta be a rose 'cause it rhymes with Mose!
# Moses!
# A-A-A-A-A-A-A! #
All right, here we go! QUIET!
ROLL 'EM!
She must talk into the mic! We can't pick it up!
CUT! What's the matter, Dexter?
Lina, don't you remember, I TOLD you, there's a microphone, right there in the bush!
YEAH? You must talk INTO it.
I WAS TALKING, WASN'T I?
Yes, but remember - round tones!
Pierre, you shouldn't have come.
PIERRE, YEW SHOULDN'T HAVE COME!
Better...
HOLD IT A SECOND!
Lina, here's the mic. Right here, IN THE BUSH!
YEAH? You talk towards it.
The sound goes through the cable and into the box.
A man records it on a big record in wax.
But you have to talk into the mic -
IN THE BUSH!
Try it again.
GEE, THIS IS DUMB!
She'll get it, Dexter. We're all a little nervous on the first day.
Don't worry, everything'll be OK.
By the way, the scene where I say
"Imperious Princess of the night", I don't like those lines.
Can I just say what I always do, "I love you, I love you!"?
Sure. Anyway it's comfortable, but INTO THE BUSH!
OK...again... QUIET!
ROLL 'EM!
SOUND FADES IN AND OUT: OH...YEW SHOOLDN'T... ...YEW'RE...DANGER!
CUT! We're missing every other word!
You've GOT to talk into the mic!
WELL, I CAIN'T MAKE LOVE TEW A BUSH!
All right! We'll have to think of something else.
WHAT ARE YEW DOING?
You're being wired for sound.
Now, Miss Lamont watch out for those D's and T's and flat A's!
OH! EVERYBODY'S PICKING ON ME!
Now, look at this flower. The mic is in there.
That's it!
Now, the sound will run from it, through this wire and on to the record.
It will catch whatever you say. Now, let's HEAR how it sounds, Lina.
OK! QUIET!
ROLL 'EM!
BOOM-BOOM
OH, PIERRE, YEW SHOOLDN'T HAVE COME.
YEW'RE FLIRTING WITH DANGER!
What's that noise?
The mic's picking up her heart-beat!
Swell(!)
CUT!!
That should do it! Now, Lina, don't forget, the mic is on your shoulder.
Whatever you say will go on record.
PLEASE, Lina, talk into the mic!
YEAH!
Don't jerk or you'll disconnect it!
OK, let's go. Quiet!
ROLL 'EM!
OH, PIERRE, YEW SHOULDN'T...
What's this wire? It's dangerous!
You'd better not go in together.
Yeah, Lina's waiting!
Kathy... Don't worry, Don. I'll lead the cheering section!
APPLAUSE
CLATTERING
What's that? The thunderstorm?
It's those pearls, Mr Simpson.
CLATTERING
I EM THE NOBLEST LAIDY OF THE COURT SECOND ONLY TO THE QUEEN.
YET I EM THE SADDEST MORTAL IN FRANCE!
Why? What is the matter, m'lady?
I'M SO DOWN-HEARTED. MY FATHER HAS ME BETROTHED TO THE BARON
AND I CAN'T STEND HIM!
LAUGHTER
Oh, but he is such a catch!
Why, all the ladies of court wish they were in your shoes!
MY HEART BELONGS TEW ANOTHER.
PIERRE! EVER SINCE I MET HIM,
I CAN'T GIT HIM OUTTA MY MIND!
LAUGHTER
SOUNDS GOOD 'N LOUD, HUH?
CRASH!
CREAK! CREAK! CREAK!
OH, PIERRE...COME. ...WITH DANGER!
THEY...MUCH TOO VALUABLE!
She couldn't remember where the mic was!
'Tis Cupid that calls me here.
And I, smitten by his arrow...
FOOTSTEPS DROWN SPEECH
LAUGHTER
BUT THE NIGHT IS FULL OF OUR ENEMIES!
BANG! BANG!
LAUGHTER
LINA, WHAT'S THAT? A BLACK-JACK?
Imperious Princess of the night, I love you!
OH! PIERRE!
(I love you,) I love you, I love YOU, I LOVE YOU,
EXTREMELY LOUD: ...I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LO-O-OVE YO-O-OU!
Was someone paid for that dialogue?
Sounds like a comedy.
It's a Lockwood-Lamont talkie!
This is TERRIBLE!
What's that?
The sound is out of SYNCHRONISATION!
Tell them to FIX IT!
Yes, sir!
What's this?
Yvonne!
Captured by the Purple Terror!
Oh! Oh! My sword!
I must fly to her side!
Yvonne! Yvonne!
My own!
PIERRE WILL SAVE ME!
PIERRE!
Pierre is miles away, you wench!
NO! NO! NO!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
NO! NO! NO!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
SPEECH SLOWED DOWN: NO-O-O! NO-O-O! NO-O-O-O-O-O!
This is a scream!
"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you...."
We're ruined! We're all ruined!
You can't release it! We must! We're booked in six weeks!
But you're such big stars, we might get by.
I never want to see Lockwood and Lamont again!
Wasn't it awful? This is the Worst picture ever made.
I LIKED IT!
Well, take a last look at it. It'll be up for auction soon.
You're mad. It's Saturday, no bank will foreclose till Monday!
It wasn't so bad! No!
No use kidding myself, once they release Duelling Cavalier,
Lockwood and Lamont are through!
The picture's a museum-piece!
I'm a museum-piece!
It was the technical side. No, it wasn't.
This is sweet of you, but...
Something happened to me tonight.
Everything you ever said about me
is true, Kathy.
I never was an actor! Just a lot of dumb-show!
I know that now.
At least you're taking it lying down(!)
Did you ever see anything as bad as me tonight?
Yeah! Lina! OK, I ran her a close second!
Maybe even a photo-finish! I'm through! You are NOT through!
No, with your looks and figure, you could drive a van. Shine shoes.
Sell hats. Sell pencils. Dig holes!
Worse...go back into Vaudeville! # Fit as a fiddle, ready for love..
# Fit as a fiddle, ready for love! #
Too bad I didn't do that in the film. They might've liked it!
Why don't you?! Make a musical!
Musical?
Sure! The new Don Lockwood - he yodels and jumps to music!
Only trouble is, after they release Duelling Cavalier, no-one will come to see me in anything!
Well, turn the Cavalier into a musical!
You've got six weeks till release.
Add some songs and dances, trim the bad scenes... And you got it!
Hey! I think it'll work! Of course!
It's crazy, but we'll do it!
The Duelling Cavalier is now a musical! Hallelujah!
I feel March 23rd is my lucky day!
Your lucky day's the 24th! It's 1.30 - it's morning!
Yes! And what a LOVELY morning!
# Good mornin'! Good mornin'!
# We've talked the whole night through.
# Good mornin', # Good mornin' to you!
# Good mornin', good mornin'!
# It's great to stay up late.
# Good mornin', good mornin' to you!
# When the band began to play, the stars were shining bright.
# Now the milk-man's on his way,
it's too late to say goodnight!
# So, good mornin', good mornin'!
# Sun-beams will soon smile through.
# Good mornin', good mornin' to you, and you, and you, and you!
# Good mornin' good mornin'!
We've gabbed the whole night through
# Good mornin' to you!
# Nothing could be grander than
to be in Louisiana...
# ...in the mornin', in the mornin'!
# It's GREAT to stay up late.
# Good mornin', good mornin' to you!
# Might be just as zippy if we was in Mississippi!
# When we left the movie show, the future wasn't bright.
# But came the dawn,
# the show goes on, and I don't wanna say goodnight.
# Say GOOD MORNIN', GOOD MORNIN'!
# Rainbows are shining through.
# Good mornin'! Good mornin'! Bonjour! Monsieur!
# Buenos Dias! Muchas Frias!
# Buon giorno! A ritorno!
# Guten Morgen! Gracias Morgen!
# Good mornin' to you!
SAILORS' HORNPIPE
CAN-CAN MUSIC
HAWAIIAN MUSIC
SPANISH FLAMENCO
CHARLESTON MUSIC
BALLET MUSIC
Hey! We can't make it a musical!
What do you mean? Lina!
Lina! Lina!
She can't act, she can't sing and she can't dance!
A triple threat!
What's so funny?
Sorry, I was just thinking about when the sound went off
and she said, "YES! YES! YES!"
No! No! No!
YES! YES! YES!
No! No!...Wait a minute!
I am just about to be BRILLIANT! Come here, Kathy!
Now, sing! What? Sing!
# Good mornin'... # Good mornin'.
Don, watch my face!
# Good mornin', good mornin' to you!
Watch my mouth!
# Good mornin', good mornin'!
# It's great to stay up late! Good mornin', good mornin'...#
Well? Convincing?
Enchanting(!) WHAT?
Don't you get it?
Use Kathy's voice!
Lina moves her mouth and Kathy sings and talks! It's wonderful!
I can't let you do it! Why not?
You'd be throwing away your own career! No, I wouldn't!
It's only for this one picture!
The important thing is to save the Duelling Cavalier! Yeah!
All right, IF it's only for this picture, but... do you think it'll get by?
Of course it will! And with the numbers, you just dance around Lina and teach her to bow!
OK, we'll tell RF in the morning! Don, you're a genius!
I'm glad you thought of it(!)
Oh, Cosmo!
Goodnight, Kathy. See you tomorrow. Goodnight, Don. Take care of that throat.
You're a singing star, remember!
This California dew is a little
heavier than usual(!) Really?
From where I stand, the sun is shining all over!
# Do-di-do-do, do-di-do-di-do
do-di-do-di.
# Do-di-do-do, do-di-do-di-do
# do-di-do-di, do-di-do-do, do-di-do-di-do-do-di-do-di!
# I'm singing in the rain.
# Just singing in the rain.
# What a glorious feeling! I'm happy again!
# I'm laughing at clouds, so dark up above.
# The sun's in my heart and I'm ready for love!
# Let the stormy clouds chase
everyone from the place.
# Come on with the rain! I've a smile on my face!
# I walk down the lane
with a happy refrain.
# Just singing, singing
in the rain!
# Dancing in the rain! La-da-da, da-da-da-de-a!
# I'm happy again!
# I'm singing and dancing
in the rain!
# I'm dancing and singing
in the rain! #
That's wonderful! We'll keep the whole thing secret until release, just in case it doesn't come off!
I'm worried about Lina - there might be fireworks!
Lina won't know Kathy's there!
Boys, the Duelling Cavalier can be saved!
Now, let's see, the Duelling Cavalier with music...
We need a musical title... Cosmo?
Hey! The Duelling Mammy!
I've got it!...No.
The Dancing Cavalier! That's it!
Cosmo, remind me to make you
a script-writer!
Thanks, RF, have a cigar!
Now, what about the story?
We need modern musical numbers.
We throw a modern section in. The hero's a hoofer.
One night backstage, he's reading
the Tale of Two Cities.
A sand-bag hits him on the head and he dreams he's back in the French Revolution!
It's modern but we can still use the costume stuff!
Remind me to give you a raise.
Oh, RF? Yes? Give me a raise.
# He holds her in his arms,
# Would you? Would you?
# He tells her of her charms Would you? Would you?
# They met as you and I and they were only friends.
# But before... THE STORY E-E-ENDS...
# HE'LL KISS HER WITH A SIGH...
# Would you? Would you?
# ...WOOD YEW?
# AND IF THE GOIRL WERE I,
WOOD YEW? WOOD YEW? #
# And would you dare to say, "Let's do the same as they"?
# I would, would you?
# And would you dare to say, "Let's do the same as they"?
# I would, would you? #
That Selden girl is great! I will give her a big build-up!
Don, what's left? One number. What number?
It's for the modern part. It's called Broadway Melody.
It's the story of a young hoofer who comes to New York. We set the stage with a song.
# Don't bring a frown
to old Broadway.
# Oh, you gotta clown
on Broadway.
# Your troubles there,
they're out of style,
for Broadway always wears a smile!
# A million lights, they flicker there.
# A million hearts
beat quicker there.
# No skies of grey on that great, white way.
# That's the Broadway Melody!
# Gotta dance!
# Gotta dance! Gotta dance!
# Broadway rhythm, it's got me. Everybody dance!
# Out on that gay white way, in each merry cafe, orchestras play taking your breath away.
# Broadway rhythm, it's got me. Everybody sing and dance!
# Oh-h-h-h! That Broadway rhythm!
# When I hear that happy beat,
# Feel like dancing down the street.
# Oh-h-h-h! That Broadway rhythm!
# Driving - beating - rhythm!
# Gotta dance!
# When I hear that happy beat,
# Feel like dancing down the street!
# When I hear that happy beat,
# Feel like dancing down the street!
# When I hear that happy beat,
# Feel like dancing down the street!
# Gotta dance!
# Gotta dance! Gotta dance!
GOTTA DANCE!
# That's the Broadway Melody! #
Well, that's the idea, what do you think?
I'll have to see it on film.
On film, it'll be even better!
Get going, the Selden girl has to re-record all Lina's dialogue. AND don't let Lina KNOW!
All set in there?
NOTHING KEN KEEP US UPART, OUR LOVE WILL LAST TILL THE STARS TURN COLD!
All right, Kathy, go ahead.
Nothing can keep us apart. Our love will last till the stars turn cold.
That's great! Perfect!
Till the stars turn cold.
Oh, Kathy, I love you!
Don... Kathy, I can't wait till this picture's finished!
I'm going to let everyone know!
Your fans will be disappointed.
From now on, there's only one fan
I'm worried about.
THERE! What did I tell you? THANKS, ZELDA, YEW'RE A PAL!
I WANT HER OUT! SHE AIN'T GONNA BE MY VOICE!
ZELDA TOLD ME EVERYTHING! You're a REAL pal(!) Any time!
Look, Don and I... DON'T YEW DARE CALL HIM DON!
I WOS CALLING HIM DON BEFORE YEW WERE BORN...I MEAN... YEW WERE KISSING HIM!
I was kissing HER! I'm in love with her!
EVERYBODY KNOWS YEW'RE IN LOVE WITH ME!
Look, Lina, try and understand. I'm going to marry her!
SILLY BOY! SHE AIN'T THE MARRYING KIND. SHE'S JIST A FLIRT, TRYING TO GET AHEAD BY USING YEW.
WELL, I'LL PUT A STOP TO THAYT! I'M GOING TO SEE RF, RIGHT NOW!
Too late, it's finished and if not
for Kathy, so would you be!
SHE'S THE ONE WHO'S FINISHED! WHO'LL HEAR OF HER? Everyone!
Why do you think Zelda's so upset? Because Kathy stole her picture.
She's doing you a favour! She's getting full screen credit, too!
YEW MEAN, IT'LL SAY I DON'T TALK FER MYSELF? Of course!
THAY CAIN'T DO THAT! It's done! And a publicity campaign's planned.
PUBLICITY! THAY CAIN'T MAKE A FOOL OUTTA LINA LAMONT! THAY CAIN'T MAKE A LAUGHING STOCK OF LINA LAMONT!
WHOT DO THAY THINK I AM? DUMB OR SOMETHING?
I MAKE MORE MONEY THAN... CALVIN COOLIDGE!
PUT TOGETHER!
I never said that!
Premiere reveals Lina Lamont
as big musical talent!
You can't pull a switch like this on publicity!
We were preparing the campaign
for Kathy Selden!
I had NOTHING to do with this!
What can we do? < NOTHING!
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
YEW WOULDN'T WANT TO CALL THE PAPERS AND SAY THAT
LINA LAMONT IS A BIG FAT LIAR?
Did YOU do this?
I GAVE AN EXCLUSIVE TO THEM ALL!
Call the papers back!
DON'T DO THAYT, RF!
Don't tell ME what to do!
YEW THINK I'M DUMB? I HAD MY LAWYER GO OVER MY CONTRACT!
AND I CONTROL MY PUBLICITY NOT YEW! Yeah?
YEAH! THE STUDIO'S RESPONSIBLE
FOR EVERY WORD PRINTED ABOUT ME! IF I DON'T LIKE IT, I CAN SU-UE!
What?! I CAN SU-UE!
IF YEW TELL THE PAPERS ABOUT KATHY SELDEN, IT WILL BE DEETREMENTAL TO MY CAREER!
I COULD SU-UE YEW FOR THE WHOLE STUDIO!
That's nonsense! SAYS SO - RIGHT HERE!
CONTRACT DATED JUNE 8, 1925,
PARAGRAPH 34, SUB-DIVISION 8, THE PARTY OF THE FIRST PART...
THAT'S ME. You win, Lina.
We better take
Kathy's credit down.
OK! Do what you have to!
Satisfied ?!
JUST ONE LITTLE THING MORE.
You want me to change the Studio's name to Lamont Pictures Inc(?) OH, RF, YEW'RE CUTE!
NO, I THOUGHT, YEW'RE GIVING
THIS GIRL A PART IN ZELDA'S MOVIE AND A BIGGER ONE IN THE NEXT?
WELL, SINCE SHE'S DOING SUCH A GRAND JOB DOUBLING FER MY VOICE,
SHOULDN'T SHE GO ON DOING THAT...
..AND NOTHING ELSE!
You're mad! I'M STILL MORE IMPORTANT
TEW THE STUDIO!
You'd be taking her career! People don't do things like that!
PEOPLE! I AIN'T PEOPLE!
I AM A...
..A SHIMMERING GLOWING STAR
IN THE CINEMA FIRMA-MENT!
IT SAYS SO - RIGHT THAYRE!
Oh, Pierre, my darling! At last I've found you!
Pierre!
You're hurt! Oh, speak to me!
# I'll kiss her with a sigh.
Would you? Would you?
# And if the girl were I, Would you? Would you? #
Pierre, hold me in your arms, always!
Lockwood's a sensation!
And Lamont's voice!
It's going wonderfully!
Yes!
Our love will last till the stars turn cold.
# And would you dare to say,
# "Let's do the same as they"?
BOTH: # I would,
# Would you? #
OVERWHELMING APPLAUSE
RF, it's a smash!
Congratulations! We owe you a lot!
Kathy! We made it!
It's a miracle!
Great, Don! Lina, you sang just like Kathy Selden (!)
AND I'M GONNA, FER A LONG TIME!
What? SHE'LL GO RIGHT ON SINGING FER ME!
I thought something was cooking beneath your bleached curls!
Kathy has a career of her own! She only did it for this picture!
THAYT'S WHOT YEW THINK!
Lina's getting carried away, isn't she?
Don't get any fancy ideas about the future! Tell her, RF!
LISTEN TO THAYT APPLAUSE, RF!
AND WAIT TILL THE MONEY ROLLS IN!
YEW WON'T GIVE THAT UP 'COS SOME NOBODY DON'T WANNA BE MY VOICE!
Part of that choice is mine, Miss Lamont, and I WON'T DO IT!
YEW GOT A 5 YEAR CONTACT! YEW'LL DO WHAT RF SAYS!
What's the matter, RF ?!
I don't know...
I'm confused...this is so big...
I once gave you a cigar - can I have it back?!
MISS SELDEN, YEW'RE SUNK!
Get yourself a new boy, I won't do it!
WHO NEEDS YA! THAY'D COME IF I PLAYED OPPOSITE A MONKEY!
Don's a smash, too! I'm still running the studio!
MR BIG PRODUCER! ALWAYS RUNNING THINGS! RUNNING ME!
WELL FROM NOW ON... I'M RUNNING THINGS!
Lamont Pictures? YEAH! You've gone too far!
They want a speech!
A SPEECH!
EVERYBODY'S ALWAYS TALKING FER ME! WELL, TONIGHT, I'LL DO MY OWN!
I'M GONNA MAKE THE SPEECH!
Wait! This is Lina's big night and she's entitled to talk!
Right? Right!
LADIES AND GINTLEMEN!
I CAIN'T SAY HOW THRILLED WE ARE AT YEWR RECEPTION OF THE FILM!
OUR FIRST MUSICAL PICTURE TOGITHER!
IF WE BRING JOY INTO YEWR HUM-DRUM LIVES,
IT MAKES US FEEL THAYT OUR WORK AIN'T BEEN IN VAIN FER NOTHING!
BLESS YEW ALL!
She didn't sound like that!
Cut the talk! Sing!
AUDIENCE: Sing! Sing!
I've got an idea!
WHOT WILL I DO? Ralph, get a mic set up back-stage!
Kathy will sing behind you.
SHE'LL BE BEHIND THE CURTAIN SINGING? That's right!
You must do it, Kathy! This thing
is too big! She has a contract!
Get to that microphone, Selden!
DO IT, KATHY!
I'll do it, Don! But I never want to see you again!
Come on, Lina!
What'll you sing, Miss Lamont?
Singing In The Rain.
SINGING IN THE RAIN! In what key?
'A Flat.'
A FLAT!
In A Flat!
ORCHESTRA PLAYS
# I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain,
# What a glorious feeling, I'm happy again.
# I'm laughing at clouds, so dark up above.
# The sun's in my heart
and I'm ready for love.
# Let the stormy clouds chase everyone from the place!
# Come on with the rain!
I've a smile on my face!
# I walk down the lane
with a happy refrain.
# I'm singing, just singing in the rain!
LAUGHTER
# I'm singing in the rain.
# Just singing in the rain.
# What a glorious feeling, I'm happy again!
# I'm laughing at clouds so dark up above.
# The sun's in my heart and I'm ready for love!
# Let the stormy clouds... #
Stop the girl running up the aisle!
That's the girl whose voice you loved!
She's the real star of the picture! Kathy Selden!
Kathy?
# You are my lucky star.
# I saw you from afar.
# Two lovely eyes, at me they were gleaming,
# Beaming,
# I was star-struck!
# You're all my lucky charms.
# I'm lucky in your arms.
# You've opened heaven's portal,
# Here on Earth, for this poor mortal.
CHORUS
# You are my lucky star! #