1 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:49,760 # University Challenge theme music 2 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:00,640 (UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE ON TV) 3 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:05,560 'Ever since I can remember, I've wanted to be clever.' 4 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:09,800 'Some people are born clever the way some people are born beautiful.' 5 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:11,920 'I'm not one of those people.' 6 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:14,040 'I've had to work at it.' 7 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:16,640 'If there's a question, I have to know the right answer.' 8 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:20,040 "Often glassy in appearance, which of the classes of rock 9 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:24,360 is formed by the cooling of molten earth? What do you reckon, Bri? 10 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:28,400 Volcanic? (BUZZ) "Is it igneous? Correct." 11 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,400 That was nearly right. 12 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:34,640 "Starter question for 10 points. From the Greek for wing and finger, 13 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:38,520 what name has a flying lizard of the Jurassic period?" Pterodactyl! 14 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:42,080 "(BUZZ) Cronin, Oxford. Is it a pterodactyl? Correct." Yesss! 15 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:45,120 Clever little thing, aren't you? Eh? 16 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:50,520 'As Francis Bacon once said, Knowledge is power.' 17 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:53,640 'Which is why I want to know everything.' 18 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,000 'I want to know about Plato and Newton, 19 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,920 Tolstoy and Bob Dylan.' 20 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:01,760 'What the words dialectic and peripatetic mean.' 21 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:05,520 'I want know why people actually like jazz.' 22 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:07,480 'If I'm going to find the answers, 23 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:12,040 I need to be in a place where people have a passion for knowledge, 24 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:14,320 think it's important, sacred even.' 25 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:16,760 'That's why I hope you'll accept my application... 26 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:18,800 to this university. 27 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:30,720 So, was that the correct answer? 28 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:34,240 Well, it's not really a question of correct or incorrect, 29 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:37,040 but it's certainly been... 30 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:38,720 ..entertaining. 31 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,040 I think that's everything, Brian. 32 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:50,920 Thank you. 33 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:01,760 We'll see you in October, Mr Jackson. (Yesss..!) 34 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,240 'So this is it. I've made it!' 35 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:07,520 'Of course, there are gonna be some pretty big changes.' 36 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,520 'Leaving home.' 37 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:12,480 'Moving away from people I've known all my life, 38 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:14,480 and friends who've always supported me.' 39 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:18,000 You're not gonna turn into a wanker, are ya? What? 40 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:21,880 Get all poncy - saying "one does", wearin' a cloak, talkin' Latin. 41 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:23,000 Yes, Tone. 42 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:27,280 That's exactly what's gonna happen. Come on. Let's get out of here. 43 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:35,760 # Motorhead - "Ace of Spades" (BLARES OUT OF PORTABLE) 44 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:42,000 Oi, slow down! 45 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:51,080 (MOTORHEAD CONTINUES) 46 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:55,280 Why do we always have to listen to this? Cos. Cos what? 47 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:58,640 Cos it's Motorhead. And? And the 'Head rule. 48 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,760 Because you say so. This is my ghetto blaster. 49 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:06,520 Which ghetto is that then, Tone? Westcliff-on-Sea. Good one, Bri! 50 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,400 Tell ya what, stick on a bit of Kate Bush, yeah? 51 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:11,760 We'll have a dance, listen to Kate Bush. 52 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:15,920 Have a good time, listen to Kate Bush, dance. (MUSIC OFF) We'll all- 53 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:17,960 Bloody hell, Spencer! 54 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:29,440 I did this for ya. 55 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:32,960 Trick your new mates into thinking you've got some taste. 56 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:35,720 Cheers, Spence. 57 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:39,960 It's amazing! Only a tape, Bri. No need to go all gay about it. 58 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:44,960 So,... do you think you'll retake your exams. Don't start. Start what?! 59 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:48,240 The careers guidance. Just... I think it's a waste, that's all. 60 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:52,840 Fuck off, it's a waste. Sitting on your arse reading poems is a waste. 61 00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:54,840 It's not just about that. 62 00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:56,640 It's about life experience. 63 00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:59,480 Expanding your mind. Grappling with the big questions. 64 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:03,000 Making exciting new friends. As opposed to boring old ones? 65 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:06,840 I didn't say that, did I? Look, I'm fine as I am, thanks Bri. 66 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:10,600 < Arseholes! Besides, there's always Tone to debate the issues of the day 67 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,600 Never get that again. 68 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:14,280 Thanks, mate. 69 00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:19,720 Best tape I ever made. (Let's get him.) In the sea. 70 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,760 What... No. Hang on. 71 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:26,200 Right, that's it! 72 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:53,000 Oh. Is that what you're wearing? 73 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:57,560 You don't mind, do you? No. No, of course not! No, it's... 74 00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:59,600 It's very smart. 75 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:04,640 Now, bread. Do you need bread? Mum, I'll get bread there. Chip pan? 76 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:06,240 I'll miss the train, Mum. 77 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:10,520 Don't drink too much. I won't, if you won't. And don't be cheeky. 78 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:15,600 Now, you sure I can't walk you to the station? Mum, I'm OK, honestly. 79 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:20,200 Now, take this. No. No, you can't afford it, Mum. Just take it. 80 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:24,440 Try to eat a piece of fresh fruit every now and then. 81 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:28,640 He'd have been so proud of you. 82 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,280 # THE CURE - "Boys Don't Cry" 83 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:42,600 # I would say I'm sorry 84 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:46,240 # If I thought that it would Change your mind 85 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:49,840 # But I know that this time I have said too much 86 00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:51,400 # Been too unkind 87 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:54,040 # I try to laugh about it 88 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:56,360 # Cover it all up with lies 89 00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:59,520 # I try and laugh about it 90 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,720 # Hiding the tears in my eyes 91 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:05,360 # Cos boys don't cry 92 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:11,360 # Boys don't cry 93 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:15,680 # I would break down at your feet 94 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:17,520 # And beg forgiveness 95 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,040 # Plead with you 96 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:20,360 # But I know that 97 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:24,000 # It's too late And now there's nothing I can do 98 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,120 # So I try to laugh about it 99 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:29,080 # Cover it all up with lies 100 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,440 # I try to laugh about it 101 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:35,920 # Hiding the tears in my eyes, cos... 102 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:38,360 # Boys don't cry 103 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:44,080 # Boys don't cry 104 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:50,200 # Boys don't cry 105 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:56,120 # Boys don't cry 106 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,680 Yes! Argh! 107 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:08,720 Take that! 108 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:12,680 Hi, there. I'm... I'm your housemate. 109 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:14,960 Brian... Brian Jackson. 110 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:16,960 Hello, Brian Jackson. 111 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:20,040 I'm Josh. This is Marcus. Hello. 112 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:21,640 How... 113 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:26,000 What me to show you to your quarters? Yeah. 114 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:33,480 Hope you don't mind, but we allocated the rooms. 115 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:36,080 Bit small, isn't it? Yes. 116 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,040 Yes, it is. 117 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:41,560 Well, we'll leave you to get ready for the party. 118 00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:43,600 Party? Tarts and vicars. 119 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:46,840 You ARE coming? 120 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:49,320 Actually, um,... 121 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:52,360 I think I'm going to stay here. 122 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,360 Unpack. 123 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,400 Do some reading. 124 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:02,880 (NEW ORDER's "Blue Monday" PLAYS LOUDLY IN VENUE) 125 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:11,160 Right, I'll purchase the alcoholic beverages. 126 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,200 You got any money, Barry? 127 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:16,360 Any cash? 128 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,520 It's just... I don't have any pockets. Um... 129 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:20,160 OK. 130 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,000 Cheers, squire. Ta-ta. 131 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:40,320 I just got back from India. 132 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:43,880 Oh, right. Amazing experience. 133 00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:47,800 Transformed me. In ways I never could have imagined! 134 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:51,080 Such as? Do you use toilet paper? 135 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:54,480 Well, uh,... now and then! 136 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,800 Not cool, you know. 137 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,560 Terrible for the environment. 138 00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:00,240 So, uh,... 139 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,600 How do you, you know? 140 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,240 I use my hand. 141 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,360 And a bucket of water. 142 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,480 You should try it some time. 143 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:15,720 Sorry, I've just seen somebody I know. Alright. 144 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,800 Hi! Do you... mind if I pretend to know you? 145 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:21,520 Has he been asking you about toilet paper? 146 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:25,360 It's uncool, apparently. Yeah, well, so's gastroenteritis. 147 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:32,800 The ironic thing is, I actually am a vicar. 148 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,000 So what'd you come as? 149 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,720 A normal person. 150 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:43,320 You could at least have come as a vicar. Except I'm Jewish. Really? 151 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:46,920 Wow. I've never met a Jew before. Not properly, anyway. 152 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:51,560 Which is strange, because loads of my heroes are Jewish. Woody Allen. Marx. 153 00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:55,560 Einstein. Dustin Hoffman. Jesus. Jesus! Freud. Kubrick. 154 00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:58,760 Yeah, god, there certainly have been some amazing Jews! 155 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:00,720 My people thank you. 156 00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:05,520 Here you go, squire. 157 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:09,040 Don't waste any time, do you, Barry? Nice work, Barry! Rrrrr...! 158 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:11,200 Hey, was there any... change? Sorry. 159 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:15,120 Well, uh... 160 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:19,760 ..nice talking to you. Barry. Actually, it's Brian. 161 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:24,760 But he just called you Barry. Yeah, he did. You didn't correct him. 162 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:27,640 No...! I'm sorry, I didn't get your name. 163 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,760 Well, Rebecca. Rebecca Epstein. Rebecca Epstein. 164 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:34,520 That's a Jewish name, isn't it? Mm. 165 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:36,720 Shalom, Brian. 166 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:38,760 Right. Absolutely! 167 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:50,760 (YAZ) # Blue-eyed, dressed for every situation 168 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:53,920 # Moving through the doorway of a nation 169 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,640 # Pick me up and shake the doubt 170 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,440 # Baby, I can't do without 171 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,240 # Don't mess around 172 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:03,200 # You bring me down 173 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,200 # How you get about 174 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:07,400 # Don't make a sound Just move out... # 175 00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:59,720 (NOISY TABLE TENNIS GAME IN PROGRESS) 176 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,520 Ooh, excuse me...(!) 177 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,120 What's the hurry? 178 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:39,240 Rebecca. Right. Come to our demonstration. Can't. Got a meeting. 179 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:42,040 Right. More important than the struggle against apartheid. 180 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:45,760 Look, I'm really, really interested in this, it's just that I'm late. 181 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:48,800 Yeah. I know. Contemporary Jewish Studies. 182 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:53,280 Oh, sorry. 183 00:13:56,760 --> 00:14:00,640 Halt! Hi, I'm here for- Fingers on buzzers. First question. 184 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:05,600 What's in your hand? Poster. Meant for a wall, where people can see it. 185 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:07,600 Never mind, fill this in. 186 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:11,320 Anyone else waiting out there? Don't think so. No. Really? 187 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:13,320 Bugger. Subject? 188 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,320 English literature. (GROANS) 189 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:17,920 But I'm pretty good on sciences. 190 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:20,680 Newton's third law of motion. 191 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:23,200 Reaction is equal and opposite to action. 192 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:26,880 Take a seat, please. 193 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:31,960 Anywhere? 194 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:39,240 Right, let's get started then, shall we? 195 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,440 I'm sorry there aren't more of us. 196 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:44,600 It seems vandals have been tearing down the posters. 197 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:47,080 I'm Patrick Watts from Ashton-under-Lyne, 198 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,840 I'm reading mechanical engineering. 199 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:53,760 Some of you may recognise me from last year's TV tournament. 200 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:59,720 Once again, I'll be captaining this year's team. Why? Sorry? 201 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:03,040 If we lost last year... why are you still captain? 202 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:07,600 Well, I'm a post-grad and... I've been captain for three years. 203 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:12,320 And we've lost for three years. Let's just crack on. Shall we? 204 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:17,320 To qualify you must answer 30 questions in 30 minutes, 205 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:21,920 and the top three scores join me the CAPTAIN... in this year's team. 206 00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:26,160 Now, there's some lively questions in there, so you should enjoy it! 207 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:29,320 But, it's against the clock, so, if you're ready... 208 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:30,880 ..let's quiz! 209 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:47,800 Hi. (CLATTER AS WAND HITS FLOOR) Sorry, sorry... (INDISTINCT) 210 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,520 Can I borrow this? (Course you can!) 211 00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,720 (THE STYLE COUNCIL) # I play out my role 212 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:03,240 # Why, I've even been out walking 213 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:05,240 # They tell me that it helps 214 00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:08,560 # But I know when I'm beaten... # 215 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,480 'OK, concentrate.' 216 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:26,320 'Question six, question six is...' 217 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:29,680 'Why is she smiling at me?' 218 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:31,680 'That's not question six. Concentrate.' 219 00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:33,680 'Must concentrate.' 220 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:35,240 'Look at the paper.' 221 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:38,000 'Look at the PAPER! Don't... Don't look at her.' 222 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,640 'Don't look at her legs.' 223 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:43,600 'Or the curve of her neck.' 224 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:48,360 'Just concentrate. Right, question sex. Six! Six.' 225 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:11,040 'Hey, handsome.' 226 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:14,160 'Would you mind giving me the answers to three and five?' 227 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:15,800 'Thanks.' 228 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:21,560 'Cheating. She wants me to cheat.' 229 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:24,320 'Can't do that.' 230 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:26,320 'With pleasure.' 231 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:31,320 'Three is potassium permanganate, and five is Papua New Guinea.' 232 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:46,880 (THE CURE) # This is stranger than I thought 233 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:50,520 # Six different ways inside my heart 234 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:54,760 # And everyone I'll keep tonight 235 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:58,080 # Six different ways go deep inside 236 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:02,320 # I'll tell them anything at all 237 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:06,200 # I know I'll give them more and more... # 238 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,200 Support our nurses. Support our nurses? 239 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,240 (DOOR BUZZER) 240 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,840 Brian, can I help you? I'm here for the team meeting. 241 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,640 Alice! Hi! Hello...! 242 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:31,880 Come in. Brian, you're not ON the team. Alice, here beat you. 243 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:36,480 Only by one point. Still makes Brian the loser. Loser's a strong word. 244 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:41,000 He is first reserve. Shoes off, please. Follow me. 245 00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:45,160 Brian, I am SO sorry! 246 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:48,120 If you hadn't given me those answers, you'd be on the team. 247 00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:51,040 Alice, it's no big deal. Really? 248 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:53,000 Yeah. Alright. 249 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,040 But I owe you. 250 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:06,920 "(BUZZ) Watts, Bristol!" 251 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,920 "Sorry. Going to have to hurry you." 252 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:16,200 "Is it..." (Schubert. Death and the Maiden. Schubert!) 253 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,200 (Schubert!) 254 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,200 ..Tchaikovsky?" "No, that's not correct. Anyone?" 255 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:24,080 "(BUZZ) Salmon, Queens! Schubert. Death and the Maiden." 256 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:27,600 "Is correct. (GONG) And at the sound of the gong, 257 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,480 the winners this year are Queens College, Cambridge." 258 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:36,720 (LOUD INVOLUNTARY SNIFF) 259 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:45,160 Obviously, I take no pleasure in showing that to you. 260 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:49,240 But, as someone once wrote, to err is human. Anyone? 261 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,240 Alexander Pope's Essay on Man? 262 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:55,120 And I feel that with dedication and good old-fashioned teamwork 263 00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,120 this could be our year. 264 00:19:57,120 --> 00:20:01,720 Which is why we're all here today. The Fantastic Four, if you will! 265 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:05,280 Each with his or her special powers! Colin, history, politics. 266 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:10,760 Lucy, science, medicine. Alice, arts and literature. 267 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:12,920 And myself as a sort of... 268 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,920 ..floating Renaissance man. 269 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,960 Brian! Coaster, please. 270 00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:24,080 Now, qualifying heats are in two weeks time. 271 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:27,400 It's untelevised but we'll still need... to be in... good form 272 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:31,320 to show them what we... can do. Brian? Shall I come along? No. 273 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,320 He is first reserve. 274 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:36,560 I'd be more than happy. Team members only, Brian. Mm? 275 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,080 I'm sure we can manage without you. 276 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,800 Now, quantum mechanics anyone? 277 00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:50,880 'Dear Spencer. Just a quick note to let you know how things are going.' 278 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:53,480 'My housemates are really interesting.' 279 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,760 'It's great to meet people from different backgrounds 280 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:58,760 and we're all having a really good laugh.' 281 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,320 (gunshot) 282 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:03,200 Hoo hoo hoo hoo...! I'm so sorry. 283 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:06,320 'I've also come increasingly politically active, 284 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:09,840 and have so far protested against apartheid, nuclear weapons, 285 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:14,520 nuclear power, gay bashing 286 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:14,520 and the sexual exploitation of women. 287 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:18,360 ..mere objects for the sexual entertainment of men. (ALL) Mm. 288 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:21,320 'Did you know that under the bastard Tories, 289 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:25,320 7% of the country currently own 84% of the wealth?' 290 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:28,480 'It's the same old story the rich get richer...' 291 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:31,480 (LETTER REPEATS REBECCA'S MONOLOGUE) 292 00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:34,640 'Anyway, how are you? How's the job hunt going?' 293 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,640 'Got anything more permanent?' 294 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,440 'Are you still signing on?' 295 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:42,200 'There's not much out there at the moment, thanks to bloody Thatcher, 296 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:47,160 but I'm sure something will come up soon.' Oi! Piss off out of here! 297 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:50,320 'Must sign off now, as I've got a lecture.' 298 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:52,400 'Am wrestling with the Romantic poets.' 299 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,360 'Not literally, as they're dead. Haha.' 300 00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:57,240 What do the Romantic poets mean by romance? 301 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:01,920 Certainly not hearts and flowers, 302 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,080 though an appreciation of extreme beauty 303 00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:06,240 was a vital source of inspiration. 304 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:12,560 The notion of the Romantic poets as swooning lovelorn fops is a fallacy. 305 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:15,320 Byron, Wordsworth, Shelley in particular, 306 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:17,400 were all passionately committed... 307 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,400 (Come on!) Shh! 308 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:21,520 Shouldn't you be at the qualifiers? 309 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:25,040 That's the thing. Colin's been knocked over by a bus. 310 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:27,560 He's OK, but he wants you on the team. 311 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:29,600 (Yesss!) 312 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,720 So glad that he's OK. 313 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:37,360 Fifty questions, 30 minutes. 314 00:22:37,360 --> 00:22:40,200 Conferring IS allowed. (NOISY MACHINE) 315 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:44,160 And to make the grade, we need 70% or higher. 316 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:48,400 Excuse me! We're doing a quiz here and it's against the clock! 317 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:53,640 Gotta be done some time! THIS MAN WAS SENT BY UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE! 318 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:55,680 (MACHINE OFF) 319 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:02,120 So... if we're ready. 320 00:23:02,120 --> 00:23:05,920 Sergeant Troy, Fanny Robin and Bathsheba Everdene 321 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:09,200 appear in which novel by Thomas Hardy? 322 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,640 Return of the Native! Return of the Native. 323 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:15,200 Isn't it Far From the Madding Crowd? Course it is! Go with Brian. 324 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:16,640 Far From the Madding Crowd. Correct. 325 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:19,920 Passer domesticus is scientific name for which common bird? 326 00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:22,120 The common house sparrow. Correct. 327 00:23:22,120 --> 00:23:24,120 Inflammation of the pancreas. Correct. 328 00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:25,560 Sistine Chapel. Correct. 329 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:28,360 The rings of Saturn. Correct. 38th parallel. Correct. 330 00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:30,120 Carry their young in pouches. Correct. 331 00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:33,480 My love is like a red, red rose. 1664! Prime numbers? Diaghilev. 332 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,520 Spleen. Correct. The Berlin airlift. Trick question, none of them. 333 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:39,240 Gamma rays. Longshore drift. The Venus de Milo. Correct. 334 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,920 And your final question... 335 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:45,080 Which decade saw the invention of the replacable razor, 336 00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:48,960 the formation of the Ford Motor Company and Oscar Wilde's death? 337 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:50,960 The 1890s. The 1900s. 1890s...! 338 00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:53,120 I'm pretty sure it's the 1900s. 339 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:58,440 I am going to have to hurry you. Lucy, what do you think? 340 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:00,480 Actually, I think Brian's right. 341 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,200 Is the answer the... 1900s? 342 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:08,280 Correct! 343 00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:13,960 Right, well, then. Congratulations, team. 344 00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:15,680 Brian... 345 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:17,880 Glad to have you on board. 346 00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:22,720 Great. Thanks. Bye. 347 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:27,400 Brian. 348 00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,560 I've never seen anything like it! 349 00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,280 You're a general knowledge god! 350 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:36,800 So what made you want to take the challenge anyway? 351 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:41,400 Challenge... I want to be an actress or a TV presenter or something, 352 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,520 and it's all experience, isn't it? 353 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:47,800 How about you? How come you know all that stuff? Misspent youth? 354 00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:53,200 And I suppose I've just always 355 00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:53,200 liked that feeling of knowing things. 356 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:57,080 For some reason it goes in and stays there. Useless knowledge! 357 00:24:57,080 --> 00:25:00,880 Do you think there's such a thing as useless knowledge? Sometimes. 358 00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:03,360 I wish I hadn't learn to crochet! 359 00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:05,880 You are joking, aren't you? Ha-ha! 360 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,280 Oi, watch it. 361 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,320 Hey, hey! Ew... Better not. 362 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:15,840 There might be dog poo in there. 363 00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:19,760 Right. 364 00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:22,920 Oh, god, I just remembered mask workshop! Gotta run. 365 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:25,960 See you at the next rehearsal. 366 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:28,200 Alice? 367 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:30,160 What are you doing on Friday? 368 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:32,680 I... It's just that it's my birthday. 369 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,520 You're having a party? Of course, I'll come! 370 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:39,840 Not a party, exactly. I was... thinking more dinner? Or something? 371 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,240 Just me and you? 372 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,000 Mm-hm. 373 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,680 Brian, I'd love to. 374 00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:52,520 Is the correct answer. 375 00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:57,720 OK... Friday. 376 00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:02,960 (WHAM!) # Call me good, call me bad 377 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:06,400 # Call me anything you want to, baby 378 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,840 # But I know that you're sad 379 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:13,880 # And I know I'll make you happy with the one thing that you never had 380 00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:18,920 # Baby, I'm your man 381 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:20,640 # Don't you know that 382 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:24,720 # Baby, I'm your man 383 00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:27,560 # Don't you know that 384 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:32,000 # Baby, I'm your man... # 385 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,160 Oh. 386 00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,680 Something wrong? 387 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:40,280 No. 388 00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:45,200 No, I just think you could have put in a bit more effort, that's all. 389 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:48,320 So? Where are you taking me? 390 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:51,360 (SOUND OF TOILET FLUSHING) 391 00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:02,080 Good job I reserved a table. This is great. Are you sure? 392 00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:05,160 It looked posher from outside, with all the candles and everything. 393 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:07,040 But I love pizza. 394 00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,520 And they do one with chips on. 395 00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,320 The King Edward. 396 00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:14,360 Ah... right. Hello? 397 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:19,040 Hi? Excuse me. 398 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:28,040 The Lambrusco bianco, um... 399 00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:32,040 Could you tell me what year it is? 1985. 400 00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:38,080 I know what YEAR it is, I meant what year is the wine. 1985. 401 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:40,960 Very well, um... 402 00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:43,840 We'll have the white Lambrusco bianco 403 00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:43,840 '85, please. 404 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:51,560 Look, breadsticks. Hurray! 405 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:13,880 Do you know, I think I'm going to have these garlic mushrooms. 406 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:16,400 Well, you won't be snogging anyone tonight. 407 00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:25,640 So have you had many boyfriends, or... Where did that come from? 408 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:29,920 Dunno. I'm just curious. What, you really want to know? Mm-hm. 409 00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:34,360 When I was 15, there was Charlie. 410 00:28:34,360 --> 00:28:41,360 Who was the lead singer in this band. He was INCREDIBLY handsome. 411 00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:45,240 ..left him for Rufus. We then had a 9-month affair. 412 00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:47,720 I then went out with his best friend Rob... 413 00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:50,600 ..fling with a lovely Italian guy called Alessandro. 414 00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:56,200 ..all sporty. He was skinny because he was young, but he had muscles... 415 00:28:56,200 --> 00:29:00,240 ..but Gregor was lovely. Incredibly possessive. 416 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:06,360 In the end, we had to call the police. I think he was deported. 417 00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:10,360 And I think that that's about it. 418 00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,280 Funny, isn't it? 419 00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:15,280 How many of them end up being mad or suicidal. 420 00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:17,040 Or in prison. 421 00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:21,320 I know. Rufus, the performance artist, who set fire to himself. Mm. 422 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:25,960 He used to say I had the kiss of death. 423 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,520 So I'm giving it all up. Concentrating on my work. 424 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:32,520 Get me to a nunnery. 425 00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:36,800 Hamlet, Act III, Scene 1. You never stop, do you?! 426 00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:38,680 What do your parents do again? 427 00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:44,760 Mum... works in a shoe shop and Dad's dead. 428 00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:48,000 Oh. It's alright! No need to get all serious. 429 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,480 It was a long time ago. What happened? 430 00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:55,200 Well, he was a salesman, double glazing, working on commission. 431 00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:57,320 Long, long hours. He hated it. 432 00:29:57,320 --> 00:30:00,160 Anyway, it must've been eating away at him, 433 00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:02,920 because one day he just fell over, apparently. 434 00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:07,040 In this old couple's living room, showing them polyurethane windows. 435 00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:09,080 Forty-one years old. 436 00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:14,280 Let's get another drink. Excuse me! 437 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:17,440 Do you think about him? Of course. Every day. 438 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:22,040 But we never really got to know one another. Not as adults, anyway. 439 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:26,160 I really only remember sitting in front of the telly with him. 440 00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:28,160 Quizzes. He loved quizzes. 441 00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,320 Nature programmes. Anything educational. 442 00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:33,880 Knowledge. That was the key, he said, to being happy. 443 00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:37,960 Not ending up doing some job you hate. 444 00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:42,920 Where's that waiter? 445 00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:45,080 He'd have loved you. 446 00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,080 You think so. 447 00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:49,880 Course... Don't you?! 448 00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,360 Don't know. 449 00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:56,080 Think he might have thought I was a bit weird, to be honest. 450 00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:59,960 He'd have been very proud of you. Why? Going to university. 451 00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:02,880 Star of the quiz team. 452 00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:07,760 Doing all the things he never got to do. 453 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:09,800 Yeah, maybe. Maybe. 454 00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:16,240 Anyway, uh, Alice, excuse me. Do you mind if I just pop to the loo? 455 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:21,360 You are such... a lovely man. 456 00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:33,600 Listen, I'm sorry about tonight. 457 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:37,120 I don't usually cry until much later in the evening. 458 00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:42,120 You mustn't apologise. It was very... illuminating. 459 00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:47,040 Brian, what are you doing at Christmas? 460 00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:51,920 Just the usual. Watching telly with Mum, eating cheap chocolate... 461 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:53,960 That kind of thing, really. Why? 462 00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:57,120 It's just that we've got this cottage in Suffolk. 463 00:31:57,120 --> 00:32:01,280 And it's so dull with just Michael and Rose and me. Michael and Rose? 464 00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:05,680 My parents. I thought maybe you could come and stay. 465 00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:12,920 Can't really leave Mum. No, but, after Christmas. For New Year. 466 00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:16,440 My parents keep themselves to themselves most of the time. 467 00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:20,320 So it'd just be me and you... walking, reading... Hanging out. 468 00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:25,240 If the idea fills you with dread, then, you know... Yes! No. Uh... 469 00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:28,840 Yes, um... That'd be really good. 470 00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:32,160 That's decided then. 471 00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:35,880 Thank you. 472 00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:40,640 Goodnight. 473 00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:46,920 (THE CURE) # I've been looking so long at these pictures of you 474 00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:51,680 # That I almost believe that they're real 475 00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:57,000 # I've been living so long with my pictures of you... 476 00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:01,840 I take it it went OK then, Romeo. 477 00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:04,720 Well, you know... It went alright. 478 00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:09,320 So, is love in the air? Not love... 479 00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:11,480 Um,... light. 480 00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:13,520 Light is in the air. 481 00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:20,120 # Remembering you standing quiet in the rain 482 00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:24,160 # As I ran to your heart to be near 483 00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:26,320 # My pictures of you... # 484 00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:37,680 Mum? 485 00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:40,280 I'm home! 486 00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:42,480 Mum? 487 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,960 (BANARAMA's "Venus" HEARD UPSTAIRS) 488 00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:48,160 # She's got it! 489 00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:50,600 # Yeah, baby, she's got it! 490 00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:58,080 Brian! GET OUT! GET OUT NOW! 491 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,840 "Our obligation to make our own individual contributions, 492 00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,880 however small-" (NOISY ELECTRIC KNIFE) 493 00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:16,120 'His name's Des. A widower from down the road.' 494 00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:17,120 'An ice-cream man.' 495 00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:21,360 'You know when he's coming round because you can hear the chimes.' 496 00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:24,880 'They've been keeping each other company ever since I left.' 497 00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:26,880 'Twice a day sometimes.' 498 00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:30,440 These are nice, Sheila. Little sausages, wrapped in bacon, Des. 499 00:34:31,720 --> 00:34:34,200 Eat your sprouts or you'll get rickets. 500 00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:37,040 Rickets is calcium deficiency, Mum. You mean scurvy. 501 00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:40,600 Oh, Brian, I don't care, just eat them, will you? 502 00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:46,440 "..and I hope we shall all try to make some good news 503 00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,440 in the coming year." 504 00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:51,600 By the way, I've got an announcement to make. 505 00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:53,600 What's that, then? 506 00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:57,120 It's just something that happened last term. Oh, god, Brian...! 507 00:34:57,120 --> 00:35:00,520 Mum, don't worry. It's a good thing. Tell me, then. 508 00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:04,760 I'm gonna be on University Challenge. 509 00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:09,320 What, that thing on the telly? 510 00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:11,320 Yeah. 511 00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:14,680 Congratulations, Brian! That's brilliant news. Cheers. 512 00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:16,680 Oh, god, what a relief! 513 00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:18,680 Why? 514 00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:23,280 Well, to be honest, I thought you were gonna say you were gay. 515 00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:26,320 (BOTH BRAY WITH LAUGHTER) 516 00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:48,080 What are you doing, Mum? Just telling him what you're up to. 517 00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:51,560 How you're gonna be on telly and everything. 518 00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:53,600 And what does Dad say? 519 00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:58,160 He doesn't say anything, Brian. 520 00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:08,840 How long are you down for, then? I'm leaving the day after tomorrow. 521 00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:13,080 You're not coming out New Year? No. I'm gonna stay with my mate Alice. 522 00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:15,840 In her cottage. Cottage? What is she, a milkmaid? 523 00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:17,840 Are you shaggin' her then? 524 00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:19,560 Tone, it's Platonic! 525 00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:24,080 Platonic? What's that mean? Means she won't let him shag her! 526 00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:25,800 YAARRRHH-HAHA! 527 00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,320 Get lost, Tone. Wha'? 528 00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:30,800 (THE UNDERTONES) # Wish she was mine, she looks so good 529 00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:33,240 # I wanna hold her, wanna hold her tight 530 00:36:33,240 --> 00:36:37,440 # Get teenage kicks right through the night 531 00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:40,480 # I'm gonna call her on the telephone 532 00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:44,440 # Have her over cos I'm all alone...# 533 00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:48,800 Right, where now? Ritzy's? Manhattan's? Not Manhattan's. 534 00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:52,440 Actually, I think I'm gonna go home. Come on, Jackson, you wuss! 535 00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:56,400 No, I've got reading and stuff. But I'll see you soon, yeah? 536 00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:58,440 Yeah, yeah, piss off. 537 00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:04,280 What's up with you? 538 00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:08,160 Why are we always telling each other to piss off, Spence? 539 00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:11,000 What's wrong with "goodnight"? You know, "sleep well"? 540 00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:14,840 "Happy Christmas?" It's just don't get... all this hostility. 541 00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,200 Listen, Bri. You're my oldest mate. 542 00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:20,680 You're my best mate, I love ya. 543 00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:24,600 It's great that you're goin' out there, meetin' new people, 544 00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:27,320 stayin' in cottages... All that stuff. 545 00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:30,440 But promise me one thing, yeah? 546 00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:33,480 Promise me you haven't turned into a wanker. 547 00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:45,040 Oi, Spence! 548 00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,640 Spence, wait for me! 549 00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:56,960 Hey, take a towel. I'll use their towels! 550 00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:59,440 You can't use their towels! Bye, Mum. 551 00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:02,560 At least take this. What is it? 552 00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:06,680 Cold meat - turkey, ham, couple of those little sausages. 553 00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:11,680 Mum, I don't think they'll- Oh, take it. It'll only go off. Please. 554 00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:15,440 Stick it in. 555 00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:19,680 You're sure you don't want to stay for New Year? Not this year, Mum. 556 00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:21,800 Besides, you've got Mr Whippy now. Brian, that's enough. 557 00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:23,840 What? You know what! 558 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:27,840 Go on, then. 559 00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:29,880 Have fun. 560 00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:52,880 Happy Christmas, Brian! 561 00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:58,640 So good to see you! Mmmm! 562 00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:03,320 In fact, bees hum by blowing air through their spiracles. 563 00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:09,160 Spiracles? Fascinating. I know! Isn't that fascinating, Michael? 564 00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:11,200 Sorry, I was somewhere else. 565 00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:16,120 So, Brian, is this your first time in Suffolk? No. 566 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:19,680 I was here once before on a climbing holiday. Really? 567 00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:24,480 Isn't it very flat for climbing? I was misinformed. 568 00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:30,400 Brian's joking, Rose. Oh! 569 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:45,560 # PSYCHEDELIC FURS - "Love My Way" Oh, my god, I love this song! 570 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:51,040 I lost my virginity to this on a mime course in Tuscany. Yeah? 571 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,040 Let's set the mood. 572 00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:59,480 Michael and Rose have gone to bed. 573 00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:12,600 Uh, no, thanks. 574 00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:17,040 What's up? I just can't smoke. 575 00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:20,640 You can't smoke? No, I never learned. 576 00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:23,760 Oh, my god, Brian. How can you not smoke? 577 00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:28,040 Smoking's what I do best. Well, second best, anyway. 578 00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:33,280 Alright, we'll try a different approach. 579 00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:37,120 On your knees, facing me, hands behind your back. 580 00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:42,840 Now, I'm gonna blow the smoke into your mouth, 581 00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:46,760 and you're going to inhale, very deeply. Understood? Mm. 582 00:41:06,720 --> 00:41:09,320 Nice? Very nice. 583 00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:11,080 Again? Please. 584 00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:15,720 Are you sure? It's very strong. I can take it. OK, here goes. 585 00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:35,640 Mm... mm... You, um, need to exhale. 586 00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:40,960 This is a terrible idea. 587 00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:44,120 Kiss of death. Remember? 588 00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:59,240 Actually,... I feel a bit weir- 589 00:41:59,240 --> 00:42:00,600 (THUD!) 590 00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:04,760 Oh, for chrissake...! Night, Brian. 591 00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:51,920 Omigod! 592 00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:58,680 Well, hello, Mrs Harbinson. Brian. 593 00:42:58,680 --> 00:42:59,960 You scared me. 594 00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:06,760 Still, I expect you've seen hundreds of naked women before. 595 00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:08,760 You'd be surprised, Mrs Harbinson. 596 00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:13,720 I told you before, PLEASE don't call me that. It makes me feel old. 597 00:43:13,720 --> 00:43:16,640 Call me Rose. 598 00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:20,480 Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs Harbinson? 599 00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:27,120 What? I said, Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs Harbinson? 600 00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:31,560 No, Brian, I most certainly am not. No, I KNOW...! 601 00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:34,680 It's a quote. Like "Mrs Robinson"? 602 00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:37,960 I haven't the least intention of trying to seduce you. I know. 603 00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:42,040 I don't want to seduce you either. Not that you're not attractive. 604 00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:45,560 Obviously, you've got a BEAUTIFUL body for someone of your age. 605 00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:48,720 I BEG your pardon?! What's going on down here? 606 00:43:48,720 --> 00:43:51,440 Nothing's going on! Hello, Mr Harbinson! 607 00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:54,440 Then what the hell are talking about? Nothing. 608 00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:58,040 I just came down for a glass of milk and bumped into Brian. 609 00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:01,960 I think I'll head back upstairs. Brian, where are your trousers? 610 00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:04,080 You can talk, big guy...! 611 00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:07,920 Brian, are you... Are you stoned? 612 00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:12,160 No way, man...! 613 00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:16,320 (HELPLESS GIGGLING) 614 00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:25,960 I'm so sorry. We only found out this morning. 615 00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:28,760 Granny fell in the night and fractured her hip. 616 00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:31,480 So we're going to Dorset to see her. 617 00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:35,400 Mum and Dad set off early. They send their love, by the way! 618 00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:38,880 They're sorry you can't be here for New Year's! Aw..! 619 00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:42,200 Actually, I bumped into them in the kitchen last night. Really? 620 00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:46,360 Did they say anything? No! Not at all. 621 00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:47,760 Right. 622 00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:52,000 Listen, Brian, the train's not for six, seven minutes yet. 623 00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:54,880 Do you mind if I don't hang round? 624 00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:58,000 Of course not...! 625 00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,240 Hello? 626 00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:12,960 Anyone home? 627 00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:18,840 Nope. Thought not. 628 00:45:32,240 --> 00:45:34,400 Excuse me. Come to our demonstration. 629 00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,360 Hi, guys. No, thank you. 630 00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:43,880 Protesting on New Year's Eve? 631 00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:45,880 Injustice never rests. 632 00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:48,760 Well, methinks the lady doth protest too much. 633 00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:55,360 It's from Hamlet. It's... a joke. 634 00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:59,960 I think I'll be the judge of that. Good Christmas? Not really? You? 635 00:45:59,960 --> 00:46:02,280 We're secular Jewish, non-Zionist socialists. 636 00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:06,320 We don't really do Christmas. Right. Sounds a riot. Mmm(!) 637 00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:08,800 Why do you think I'm back here? 638 00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:11,680 What's in the bag? New Year's Eve dinner. 639 00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:16,600 Individual chicken pie and a tin of sweetcorn? 640 00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:18,680 Fasten your seatbelts! 641 00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:21,720 Yeah, except for a souvenir tea towel! 642 00:46:21,720 --> 00:46:25,960 Well, I hope you had some clothes on 643 00:46:21,720 --> 00:46:25,960 Socks, shoes, no trousers. 644 00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:30,560 What, and then she chucked you out? She didn't chuck me out, Rebecca. 645 00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:34,480 No, Alice's elderly grandmother fell down stairs and fractured her hip. 646 00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:41,640 She could've been telling the truth. Yeah, she was telling the truth(!) 647 00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:45,160 I'm sorry. It's alright. 648 00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:50,360 So, what are we gonna do tonight? 649 00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:55,360 Haven't you got a party to go to? I think I can skip that. 650 00:46:57,920 --> 00:47:00,400 I've got an individual chicken pie. 651 00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:05,240 Then how could I possibly refuse? I'm only flesh and blood! 652 00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:12,600 # KATE BUSH - "Man with the Child in his Eyes" 653 00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:15,360 I've never been very good at those parties, anyway. 654 00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:19,640 Two hundred drunk students hurling themselves at each other in a room. 655 00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:27,400 Then, at 3am, some lager-breathed stranger rubs his face on me. 656 00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:29,320 Think I'm safer here. 657 00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:32,560 So, you don't have a... 658 00:47:32,560 --> 00:47:36,160 What's the word? Um... boyfriend? 659 00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:39,360 Partner? What, comrade? 660 00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:41,280 Not as such. 661 00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:44,480 Never seem to have much luck in that department. 662 00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:46,400 Don't know why. 663 00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:49,240 I don't why either. 664 00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:53,520 Brian, are you trying to flirt? 665 00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:56,680 No! Then why are you putting on that voice? 666 00:47:56,680 --> 00:48:02,120 Look, I just mean... I'm sure you can have a, you know, boyfriend, 667 00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:04,120 if you wanted one. 668 00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:07,040 I have my amorous moments, I suppose. 669 00:48:07,040 --> 00:48:09,080 Once in a while. 670 00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:14,760 What's this? 671 00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:16,560 It's... my notebook. 672 00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:21,960 It's just for jotting down ideas. 673 00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:23,840 It's poetry. Oh, right. 674 00:48:23,840 --> 00:48:27,440 Brian, you have to promise me something. 675 00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:32,600 Promise me that you will never, never show me your poetry. 676 00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:34,640 I wouldn't dare, Rebecca. 677 00:48:39,240 --> 00:48:41,240 Hey, what's the time? 678 00:48:41,240 --> 00:48:42,240 It's, uh,... 679 00:48:42,240 --> 00:48:44,760 It's 11.56pm. (KATE BUSH CONTINUES) 680 00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:48,920 Well, we can't start 1986 listening to this moaning. Oi..! 681 00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:56,920 # THE BUZZCOCKS - "Ever Fallen In Love" 682 00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:03,720 (CHUCKLES) 683 00:49:03,720 --> 00:49:07,960 Well, I hope you're not too disappointed. What? 684 00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:11,640 Stuck here with me... instead of blondie. 685 00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:14,080 Rebecca...! 686 00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:15,520 Of course not! 687 00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:17,520 Look... 688 00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:21,520 I'd much rather be here! Is that right? Mm. 689 00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:27,680 # Ever fallen in love with someone Hey, what's the time? 690 00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:30,160 It's 11.58. 691 00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:32,160 Two minutes to go. 692 00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:34,920 What shall we do to pass the time? 693 00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:36,920 # I can't see much of a future 694 00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:37,920 Um... 695 00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:41,840 # Unless we find out what's to blame What a shame 696 00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:47,760 # And we won't be together much longer 697 00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:51,480 # Unless we realise that we are the same 698 00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:57,760 # Ever fallen in love with someone 699 00:49:57,760 --> 00:50:00,440 # Ever fallen in love In love with someone 700 00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:02,960 # Ever fallen in love In love with someone 701 00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:05,000 # You shouldn't have fallen in love with 702 00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:08,600 # You disturb my natural emotions... 703 00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:11,320 Wait! Hang on a sec, Brian! What? 704 00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:17,480 I'm sorry. Was that wrong? Wrong? No, it's not that - look! 705 00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:19,520 # And if I start a commotion 706 00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:22,400 # I'll only end up losing... (MUSIC OFF) 707 00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:28,080 (RADIO ON: WILD CHEERING) 708 00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:32,160 # Should auld acquaintance be mm-mm... 709 00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:38,200 # Blah la-la la-lahhh... 710 00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:41,160 (HUM AULD LANG SYNE) 711 00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:47,120 Happy New Year, Brian. 712 00:50:47,120 --> 00:50:49,640 Happy New Year, Alice. 713 00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:53,000 (FIREWORKS OUTSIDE) Alice? 714 00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:04,720 Rebecca! Rebecca! Look, it's was... it was a slip of the tongue! 715 00:51:04,720 --> 00:51:07,160 The tongue you had down my throat! 716 00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:09,320 You really are a complete and utter prat, Jackson! I know! 717 00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:13,280 Christ knows, I've met some prats in my time, but you win the award! 718 00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:17,000 Let me help you with that! Get your hands off of me! 719 00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:19,120 Thanks for a memorable evening, Brian. 720 00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:21,280 And have a happy new year! 721 00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:40,800 (REVELLERS SHOUT GREETINGS) 722 00:51:41,720 --> 00:51:47,360 # TEARS FOR FEARS - "The Hurting" 723 00:51:53,720 --> 00:51:56,800 # Is it an horrific dream 724 00:51:56,800 --> 00:51:59,960 # Am I sinking fast 725 00:51:59,960 --> 00:52:02,720 # Could a person be so mean 726 00:52:02,720 --> 00:52:05,120 # As to laugh and laugh 727 00:52:05,120 --> 00:52:07,720 # On my own 728 00:52:07,720 --> 00:52:10,320 # Could you ease my load 729 00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:14,000 # Could you see my pain 730 00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:18,840 # Could you please explain The hurting... # 731 00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:28,320 My heart aches 732 00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:31,600 And the drowsy numbness pains my sense 733 00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:34,200 As though of hemlock I had drunk 734 00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:38,960 Or emptied some dull opiate to the drains 735 00:52:40,240 --> 00:52:41,400 Brian. 736 00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:43,400 Stay on afterwards, will you? 737 00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:48,880 One minute passed, and Lethe-wards had sunk 738 00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:53,640 Are you experiencing emotional problems? Emotional problems?! 739 00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:57,880 Affairs of the heart, anxieties of a romantic or perhaps sexual nature. 740 00:52:57,880 --> 00:53:03,040 And believe me, Brian, I'm finding this as embarrassing as you are? 741 00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:06,840 What makes you ask? When I interviewed you a year ago, 742 00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:10,280 you struck me as a particularly passionate young man. 743 00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:14,000 A little incoherent, maybe, a little gauche. Is that fair? Go on. 744 00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:18,240 But you had a sincere passion for knowledge that is missing from 745 00:53:18,240 --> 00:53:21,400 some of our - What shall we say? - privileged students. 746 00:53:21,400 --> 00:53:24,920 That's why I was happy to offer you a place, 747 00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:27,760 because I knew you'd actually fought for it. 748 00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:34,520 But looking at your grades this year - 74%, 68%, 57%... 749 00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:38,040 It seems you're actually becoming less intelligent. 750 00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:44,040 And that, strangely enough, is not what an education is for. 751 00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:48,280 (BUZZ) Jackson, Bristol. Toad and badger. Is the wrong answer. 752 00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:51,640 The TS in TS Eliot stands for? (BUZZ) Jackson, Bristol. 753 00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:54,800 Thomas Stewart. Again, the wrong answer. Lucy? Thomas Stearns. 754 00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:57,400 Correct. Patrick, I was- Studio conditions, Brian! 755 00:53:57,400 --> 00:54:02,000 In anatomy, where might you find the arcuate fasciculus- (BUZZ) 756 00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:07,240 Jackson, Bristol. Sorry. Is Alice coming today? Apparently, not! 757 00:54:07,240 --> 00:54:09,080 I'm not delighted either, Brian. 758 00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:12,240 In 24 hours we're being recorded to appear before millions 759 00:54:12,240 --> 00:54:15,400 and you think Thomas Eliot's middle name was STEWART! 760 00:54:15,400 --> 00:54:16,920 Once again. 761 00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:19,920 The arcuate fasciculus, Wernicke's area- 762 00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:30,960 So this is where is all happens, is it? 763 00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:33,280 Spencer... what are you doing here? 764 00:54:33,280 --> 00:54:35,760 I thought I'd pay you a visit. 765 00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:38,200 Don't mind, do you? Uh, no! 766 00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:45,440 It's really good to see you, Spence. Just a bit of a surprise. 767 00:54:45,440 --> 00:54:49,360 Who let you in? Some wanker in a velvet waistcoat. 768 00:54:49,360 --> 00:54:52,880 You were nice to him though, weren't you? I dunno. 769 00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:57,120 Should I have been? Well, I do have to live with him. 770 00:54:57,120 --> 00:54:59,560 Are you writing poetry? No! 771 00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:01,600 Gimme that! 772 00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:06,880 Who's Alice anyway? 773 00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:09,040 With the big bosoms? 774 00:55:09,040 --> 00:55:11,040 You're not serious. 775 00:55:11,040 --> 00:55:13,880 You are serious. Bloody hell, Spencer! What now? 776 00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:16,400 I'm being prosecuted for fiddling my unemployment benefit. 777 00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:21,120 What's gonna happen? I dunno. Depends on the judge, I suppose. 778 00:55:21,120 --> 00:55:25,280 But you've still got the arcade job, right? Not as such, no. 779 00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:29,080 Found me with my hand in the till. 780 00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:29,080 What do they think you took? 781 00:55:29,080 --> 00:55:32,600 Couple of hundred. How much did you take? Coupla hundred sounds right. 782 00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:34,360 Spencer...! You're a socialist. 783 00:55:34,360 --> 00:55:36,880 You should approve of the redistribution of wealth. 784 00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:40,680 By acquiring the means of production! 785 00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:40,680 Not by knickin' stuff! 786 00:55:40,680 --> 00:55:46,280 Can we talk about something else? I came to get away from it all. 787 00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:49,680 Have a laugh, yeah? OK. Yeah. We can do that. 788 00:55:51,320 --> 00:55:54,520 Is she gonna be here, then? Who? You know... 789 00:55:55,760 --> 00:55:58,600 Posh one. The one in the poems. 790 00:55:58,600 --> 00:56:01,760 Alice? I hope so. Be nice though, won't you? 791 00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:03,760 Me? 792 00:56:03,760 --> 00:56:05,040 I'm always nice. 793 00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:07,720 With this hand. And a bucket of water. 794 00:56:07,720 --> 00:56:09,760 Look... let's move on, eh? 795 00:56:10,920 --> 00:56:12,200 # ..about the square of the hypotenuse 796 00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:14,160 # With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse 797 00:56:14,160 --> 00:56:17,760 # With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse 798 00:56:17,760 --> 00:56:20,280 # I am the very model of a modern Major-General 799 00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:22,240 # I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral 800 00:56:22,240 --> 00:56:24,320 # I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical 801 00:56:24,320 --> 00:56:26,400 Pub? # From Marathon to Waterloo... 802 00:56:26,400 --> 00:56:29,280 It'll liven up. C'mon, let's see what's upstairs. 803 00:56:34,440 --> 00:56:36,480 Come here. 804 00:56:38,680 --> 00:56:40,720 That's her. 805 00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:44,320 In the leotard. 806 00:56:44,320 --> 00:56:48,000 Well, introduce us then. What... for? You told me to be nice. 807 00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:52,360 Yeah, but, I thought we'd have a drink. She's comin' over. 808 00:56:52,360 --> 00:56:54,400 Hello. 809 00:56:57,640 --> 00:57:01,360 Hi. So who's this, then? 810 00:57:01,360 --> 00:57:03,360 Ah, this is Spencer. 811 00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:05,360 Oh, the famous Spencer. 812 00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:09,960 I've heard all about you. And I've heard all about you. Drink, anyone? 813 00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:13,240 What have you heard? I don't think I can say. 814 00:57:13,240 --> 00:57:16,440 Anyone for a drink? What've you heard? You first. You first. 815 00:57:16,440 --> 00:57:18,720 I'm gonna just get some drinks, yeah? 816 00:57:18,720 --> 00:57:22,320 # Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme... # 817 00:57:29,040 --> 00:57:30,720 Oop, shit...! 818 00:57:34,280 --> 00:57:36,800 You're not gonna hit me, are you? 819 00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:40,000 Haven't decided yet. 820 00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:48,520 Rebecca! I'm sorry- Brian, I got drunk. I was having a nice time, 821 00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:50,480 I fancied a bit of human... 822 00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:53,080 ..whatever, contact. 823 00:57:53,080 --> 00:57:56,240 And I made a mistake, misread the signals, very embarrassing, 824 00:57:56,240 --> 00:57:58,080 but not a big deal. 825 00:57:58,080 --> 00:58:00,440 I'm sure I'll learn to love again(!) 826 00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:13,040 Got your fluffy mascot packed for the big match? No. 827 00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:17,280 All a bit silly the mascot stuff. Brian, you're such a maverick(!) 828 00:58:17,280 --> 00:58:22,120 Are you gonna come and watch then? See you in action? You are joking. 829 00:58:22,120 --> 00:58:26,000 I wish you would. Free minibus! What do you care anyway? 830 00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:28,480 I'd just like you to be there. 831 00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:32,000 Only don't tell my mate, Spencer. He'd just take the piss. 832 00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:34,000 Oh, my god, Patrick! 833 00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:38,600 Brian. I hope that's not an ALCOHOLIC beverage in your hand. 834 00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:40,600 Big day tomorrow. 835 00:58:40,600 --> 00:58:42,200 Why's that, then? 836 00:58:42,200 --> 00:58:44,960 Cos he's the team's star player! What team? 837 00:58:44,960 --> 00:58:48,280 This year's University Challenge team. (SPENCER LAUGHS) 838 00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:53,680 You're joking. No. You? Well, me, Alice, Lucy and Patrick. 839 00:58:53,680 --> 00:58:57,200 Actually on telly? Yeah. Bloody hell, Brian, you dark horse! 840 00:58:57,200 --> 00:58:59,680 Something funny? No, not at all, mate. 841 00:58:59,680 --> 00:59:03,560 Just that I always wondered what kind of bizarre, nerdy swot 842 00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:08,080 would wanna go on that programme. And it's YOU! Didn't wanna tell ya! 843 00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:11,160 Where are you studying,... mate? 844 00:59:11,160 --> 00:59:15,880 Actually, Patrick, Spencer's taking a year out. No, I'm not. 845 00:59:15,880 --> 00:59:19,920 I'm unemployed. Social security, then. That's right, yeah. 846 00:59:19,920 --> 00:59:23,120 Or he was, until those bastards decided to prosecute him. 847 00:59:23,120 --> 00:59:26,520 Are you being prosecuted, Spencer? Only for fiddling his dole. 848 00:59:26,520 --> 00:59:28,520 Do you think you'll go to prison? 849 00:59:28,520 --> 00:59:32,520 I'm sure he didn't do it, so- But he did! He had to. 850 00:59:32,520 --> 00:59:34,400 Just to make a living wage. 851 00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:38,880 So you HAD a job? Cash-in-hand, yeah. Best of luck,.. mate(!) 852 00:59:38,880 --> 00:59:42,360 Hang on, do you KNOW how much the government pay a week? 853 00:59:42,360 --> 00:59:45,120 So? There's plenty of work! That's a little harsh, Patrick. 854 00:59:45,120 --> 00:59:49,200 There's- Three million unemployed! But he isn't one of them, is he? 855 00:59:49,200 --> 00:59:52,960 If the job was no good, he should get on his bike, not steal- 856 00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:57,560 A question for you, MATE! What is my name? Spencer, put him down. 857 00:59:57,560 --> 01:00:00,720 What is my name? Gonna have to hurry ya! 858 01:00:00,720 --> 01:00:04,080 Spencer, put him down! My name is...? Patrick, say Spencer! Spencer. 859 01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:08,920 CORRECT! And if you've got something to say to me, you say it to my FACE! 860 01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:11,640 ARRRGGGHHH...! AAARRRRHHH! 861 01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:13,640 Patrick... 862 01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:15,680 SPENCER! 863 01:00:18,720 --> 01:00:19,920 (GROANS) 864 01:00:31,440 --> 01:00:33,480 (RAIN POURS) 865 01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:44,960 (MAKES BOTTLE-BLOW SOUND) 866 01:00:48,400 --> 01:00:50,440 Party's over. 867 01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:57,160 Your friend was looking for you. 868 01:00:58,440 --> 01:01:00,680 Why d'you think I'm sitting out here? 869 01:01:00,680 --> 01:01:03,520 Quite a handful, isn't he? 870 01:01:08,720 --> 01:01:10,760 Is Alice, alright? 871 01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:18,920 Brian,... sometimes the people you care about the most, 872 01:01:18,920 --> 01:01:22,560 just, basically, don't give a toss about you. 873 01:01:22,560 --> 01:01:24,560 Look, you don't know that. 874 01:01:24,560 --> 01:01:29,160 Then, I dare you, right now, go and tell her how you feel, 875 01:01:29,160 --> 01:01:32,360 then maybe we can all get some bloody peace! 876 01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:52,160 (KNOCKS ON DOOR) 877 01:02:03,320 --> 01:02:05,360 Come on, Alice! Open up. 878 01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:11,880 My god, Brian. What's up? 879 01:02:11,880 --> 01:02:16,320 Um... Could I come in, do you think? I'll get some clothes on. 880 01:02:24,360 --> 01:02:25,600 Erm... 881 01:02:25,600 --> 01:02:27,640 OK, you can come in. 882 01:02:30,840 --> 01:02:33,680 Right. Sorry about tonight. 883 01:02:33,680 --> 01:02:38,960 I love Spencer, but he can be such a wanker. Oh, don't worry about it. 884 01:02:38,960 --> 01:02:42,640 And I probably shouldn't say this, but it was quite exciting. 885 01:02:42,640 --> 01:02:44,800 Like Roman gladiators or something... Mm. 886 01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:49,600 I've been dying to do that for so long. 887 01:02:49,600 --> 01:02:51,600 Mm... mm... mm. 888 01:02:51,600 --> 01:02:52,800 Oh, please, don't. 889 01:02:52,800 --> 01:02:54,880 What? We... We did it before. 890 01:02:54,880 --> 01:02:59,720 We've a big day tomorrow. Can we talk another- I love you, Alice. 891 01:03:02,560 --> 01:03:04,680 At least, I think I do. 892 01:03:04,680 --> 01:03:07,840 I thought that... we had something, didn't we, Alice? 893 01:03:07,840 --> 01:03:12,920 Some kind of chemistry or... electricity or... whatever? 894 01:03:12,920 --> 01:03:14,960 (SQUEAK OF DOOR HINGE) 895 01:03:16,120 --> 01:03:18,160 Alright, mate? 896 01:03:23,640 --> 01:03:25,480 W-W-We were talking... um... 897 01:03:30,800 --> 01:03:32,840 Bri. Bri...? 898 01:03:34,600 --> 01:03:38,240 Actually, Bri, I was puttin' in a good word for ya! 899 01:03:38,240 --> 01:03:41,360 Spencer, mate, you're half naked! We was only fooling around. 900 01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:43,680 It's nothing serious! 901 01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:48,640 Look, Bri, if you've got something to say, say it, cos this is stupid! 902 01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:51,080 You knew how I felt about her. 903 01:03:51,080 --> 01:03:54,880 You KNEW, Spence. I TOLD you! And you couldn't keep away! 904 01:03:54,880 --> 01:03:57,360 She started it! Well, that's alright, then(!) 905 01:03:57,360 --> 01:04:02,080 Was the fight somebody else's fault?! He tried to make me look stupid! 906 01:04:02,080 --> 01:04:05,960 So you resort to violence?! No. Violence was my first choice. 907 01:04:05,960 --> 01:04:09,880 Very hard, mate(!) Didn't see you jumping in to help, Judas! 908 01:04:09,880 --> 01:04:12,720 I was sticking up for you! Oh, yeah?! 909 01:04:12,720 --> 01:04:15,200 I thought you were just flappin' your social conscience around 910 01:04:15,200 --> 01:04:17,200 for your girlfriend? 911 01:04:17,200 --> 01:04:20,040 You made me feel like a prick, Bri. 912 01:04:20,040 --> 01:04:22,880 You ARE a prick. Don't push it, Jackson! 913 01:04:22,880 --> 01:04:26,040 What is this... this need to smash things up? 914 01:04:26,040 --> 01:04:28,520 You can mess up your own life, 915 01:04:28,520 --> 01:04:32,960 but why d'you have to do it to people 916 01:04:28,520 --> 01:04:32,960 trying to achieve something? 917 01:04:32,960 --> 01:04:36,000 Trying to MAKE something of their lives! Like you, you mean? 918 01:04:36,000 --> 01:04:39,080 You're jealous of me! Jealous...! Of you?! 919 01:04:39,080 --> 01:04:43,680 You think cos you read a couple of books, you're better than me? 920 01:04:43,680 --> 01:04:46,200 That's not what Alice seems to think. 921 01:04:51,480 --> 01:04:55,720 I want you gone, Spencer. I want you on the first train. 922 01:04:55,720 --> 01:04:59,960 I don't care how much trouble you're in, you've gotta go. Brian... 923 01:04:59,960 --> 01:05:01,360 Where you goin', Brian? 924 01:05:05,720 --> 01:05:07,760 I'm sorry. 925 01:05:09,320 --> 01:05:11,960 Wake up! 926 01:05:11,960 --> 01:05:15,120 We have to be in Manchester in two hours! 927 01:05:15,120 --> 01:05:17,160 Brian! 928 01:05:19,480 --> 01:05:21,520 Two minutes, Brian. 929 01:05:25,680 --> 01:05:30,720 Patrick, look, I'm sure they can cover that up with make-up, or... 930 01:05:30,720 --> 01:05:32,760 Just get in. 931 01:05:35,840 --> 01:05:37,880 Hey, there. 932 01:05:39,760 --> 01:05:42,280 Here we are, then - The Fantastic Four. 933 01:05:48,320 --> 01:05:51,400 The duodenum and ileum form part of which bodily system? 934 01:05:51,400 --> 01:05:53,040 The digestive system. Correct. 935 01:05:53,040 --> 01:05:56,080 The Wild Duck and Rosmersholm are by which playwright? 936 01:05:56,080 --> 01:05:57,840 Patrick, can I just ask... 937 01:05:57,840 --> 01:06:01,640 Do you think by freakish coincidence these questions will be on the show? 938 01:06:01,640 --> 01:06:04,720 Because if they're not, it's a waste of time. 939 01:06:04,720 --> 01:06:09,200 It's a warm up, Brian, for those of us feeling less than fresh! 940 01:06:09,200 --> 01:06:13,440 What about Alice, then? Late night, was it, Alice? Not here, Brian. 941 01:06:13,440 --> 01:06:18,320 So, just the four of us today? Or is someone hiding? Later, OK...? 942 01:06:18,320 --> 01:06:23,720 Will someone tell me what the hell's going on? Let's listen to music. 943 01:06:23,720 --> 01:06:26,960 (MUSIC ON: "Wonderful Life" - BLACK) 944 01:06:26,960 --> 01:06:31,040 # No need to laugh and cry 945 01:06:31,040 --> 01:06:34,480 # It's a wonderful, wonderful life...# 946 01:06:40,960 --> 01:06:43,760 Finally! I'll let them know you're here. 947 01:06:43,760 --> 01:06:45,760 Brian, where are you going? 948 01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:49,640 Just gimme five minutes, alright? We're already late with- Leave him! 949 01:06:49,640 --> 01:06:51,680 Alright, but five minutes only! 950 01:06:52,840 --> 01:06:57,440 Mum, it's not for hours yet. I know! We set off at dawn! 951 01:06:57,440 --> 01:06:59,520 Thought we'd make a day of it. 952 01:06:59,520 --> 01:07:03,440 I brought Des along. You don't mind, do you? No. 953 01:07:03,440 --> 01:07:07,080 No, that's fine. What do you think, Bri? I've got to go. 954 01:07:07,080 --> 01:07:10,240 Brian, is something wrong? What could possibly be wrong, Mum? 955 01:07:10,240 --> 01:07:13,960 Is it Des, Bri? Brian! 956 01:07:13,960 --> 01:07:16,480 Get back here this minute, young man! 957 01:07:20,840 --> 01:07:24,000 Brian, I wish your dad was here today too. 958 01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:26,880 But that's gonna happen, is it? 959 01:07:26,880 --> 01:07:30,720 I'm sorry you don't like Des, but I do. And he likes me. 960 01:07:30,720 --> 01:07:35,160 And he makes me laugh. Which hasn't happened much in the last 10 years. 961 01:07:35,160 --> 01:07:37,200 Jackson, we're waiting! 962 01:07:38,880 --> 01:07:40,600 NOW! 963 01:07:41,880 --> 01:07:43,920 I've gotta go. 964 01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:49,240 Everything alright? 965 01:07:52,600 --> 01:07:55,080 Brian, I can't stand this not talking. 966 01:07:55,080 --> 01:07:58,440 What is there to talk about, Alice? 967 01:07:58,440 --> 01:08:00,920 I'm sorry if I led you on. 968 01:08:00,920 --> 01:08:02,920 And I'm sorry about Spencer. 969 01:08:02,920 --> 01:08:04,920 I didn't INTEND to. 970 01:08:04,920 --> 01:08:09,760 It was just a sort of... physical, animal-attraction, SEX thing. 971 01:08:09,760 --> 01:08:13,360 This isn't necessarily helping me, Alice. 972 01:08:17,840 --> 01:08:19,880 Oh, my god! 973 01:08:25,640 --> 01:08:28,480 So,... 974 01:08:28,480 --> 01:08:29,560 ..we meet again. 975 01:08:39,240 --> 01:08:43,040 Isn't that the team that... Beat us last year. Correct, Lucy. 976 01:08:43,040 --> 01:08:45,480 OK, people, let's quiz. 977 01:08:45,480 --> 01:08:47,960 How many vertices has a dodecahedron? Twelve. 978 01:08:47,960 --> 01:08:51,480 Wrong. Minus five points. So they're really good, aren't they? 979 01:08:51,480 --> 01:08:56,280 The so-called hammer of the Scots- Henry II. Minus ten points. 980 01:08:56,280 --> 01:08:58,400 So, basically, we're screwed. Edward II. 981 01:08:58,400 --> 01:09:00,400 OK, Brian. Here's a question. 982 01:09:00,400 --> 01:09:03,840 If you don't know, why the HELL open your mouth? 983 01:09:03,840 --> 01:09:07,040 No one was answering, I had a stab! OK, calm down! 984 01:09:07,040 --> 01:09:10,560 That's your problem - always having a stab without a clue. 985 01:09:10,560 --> 01:09:12,760 Stab, stab, stab - wrong, wrong, wrong! 986 01:09:12,760 --> 01:09:15,320 I'm off to find a pub. It's fun, remember? 987 01:09:15,320 --> 01:09:17,600 Why'd I even let you come? You're ignorant! 988 01:09:17,600 --> 01:09:20,920 Worse than your thick yob of a friend! You started that! 989 01:09:20,920 --> 01:09:25,520 You reek of booze and look like a tramp. For TV. Stop that, Patrick. 990 01:09:25,520 --> 01:09:30,800 You can take the boy out of Essex, but not Essex out of the boy! 991 01:09:30,800 --> 01:09:32,480 Ow. 992 01:09:48,040 --> 01:09:51,880 Hmm... What we witness here is a basic misunderstanding 993 01:09:51,880 --> 01:09:54,480 of the principle of the headbutt. 994 01:09:55,520 --> 01:09:59,040 You're meant to hit the soft part of their nose, 995 01:09:59,040 --> 01:10:03,280 with the hard part of your forehead. Not the other way around. 996 01:10:03,280 --> 01:10:08,560 How many fingers am I holding up? Could I lose 5 points? Not this time 997 01:10:08,560 --> 01:10:10,560 Three. Battle of Agincourt? 998 01:10:10,560 --> 01:10:13,360 Um... 1415. 999 01:10:13,360 --> 01:10:15,800 Yeah. I think you're gonna be alright. 1000 01:10:19,120 --> 01:10:21,320 I'm glad you came. 1001 01:10:21,320 --> 01:10:25,200 What, you lying unconscious in a pool of your own blood? 1002 01:10:25,200 --> 01:10:28,760 Wouldn't have missed that for the world. (LAUGHS) 1003 01:10:31,520 --> 01:10:35,240 Mr Jackson? We need you now. Alright. 1004 01:10:38,800 --> 01:10:43,800 Here, I managed to get most of the blood out. Thank you so much. 1005 01:10:47,520 --> 01:10:49,920 Oh, hang on. You... 1006 01:10:49,920 --> 01:10:51,960 Here let me... 1007 01:10:57,640 --> 01:11:00,760 Now, Mr Jackson? 1008 01:11:01,720 --> 01:11:03,760 Wait, and Brian? 1009 01:11:05,560 --> 01:11:09,600 Show those stuck-up bastards what you're made of. 1010 01:11:13,440 --> 01:11:15,960 If you'd like to wait... here. OK. 1011 01:11:17,680 --> 01:11:19,840 Ah, there's Bamber. Wait here, please. 1012 01:11:36,960 --> 01:11:38,600 Oh, my god...! 1013 01:11:49,880 --> 01:11:52,240 'Which constellation of seven bright stars 1014 01:11:52,240 --> 01:11:55,000 includes Merak, Megrez and Mizar?' 1015 01:11:55,000 --> 01:11:58,640 'Ursa Major or the Great Bear. Also known as the Big Dipper.' 1016 01:11:58,640 --> 01:12:00,680 (I knew that!) 1017 01:12:11,520 --> 01:12:14,080 Oh... There it is. 1018 01:12:14,080 --> 01:12:16,320 OK, everybody. Two minutes. 1019 01:12:27,880 --> 01:12:30,720 I'm sorry about that. 1020 01:12:30,720 --> 01:12:32,720 It's alright. 1021 01:12:32,720 --> 01:12:35,600 In retrospect, it's possible I wasn't entirely faultless. 1022 01:12:38,920 --> 01:12:40,440 What? 1023 01:12:40,440 --> 01:12:44,000 You think it's too much? Um... 1024 01:12:44,000 --> 01:12:46,880 OK. If you'd like to take your seats?' 1025 01:12:48,440 --> 01:12:50,480 Alright, team. 1026 01:12:52,720 --> 01:12:55,800 Let's take these mothers out! 1027 01:12:55,800 --> 01:12:58,960 # SURVIVOR - "Eye of the Tiger" (DRAMATIC GUITAR INTRO) 1028 01:13:11,160 --> 01:13:14,320 (UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE THEME MUSIC) Coming to the studio live 1029 01:13:14,320 --> 01:13:16,320 in 3...2...1... Intro Bamber. 1030 01:13:16,320 --> 01:13:18,360 It's University Challenge! 1031 01:13:19,960 --> 01:13:22,320 Asking the questions, Bamber Gascoigne! 1032 01:13:22,320 --> 01:13:24,800 Hello. Welcome once again to University Challenge, 1033 01:13:24,800 --> 01:13:28,680 this week between the University of Bristol and Queens College Cambridge 1034 01:13:28,680 --> 01:13:30,840 Let's meet the teams, starting with Queens. 1035 01:13:30,840 --> 01:13:34,160 I'm Tristram Neville from Cheltenham reading pure mathematics. 1036 01:13:34,160 --> 01:13:37,800 I'm Cordelia Sykes from Norwich reading Chemistry. 1037 01:13:37,800 --> 01:13:40,320 Team captain? Anthony Salmon, Winchester, 1038 01:13:40,320 --> 01:13:43,280 doing post-graduate research into medieval French literature. 1039 01:13:43,280 --> 01:13:46,440 Nigel De Havilland from West Dulwich reading economics. 1040 01:13:48,240 --> 01:13:49,840 And the team from Bristol? 1041 01:13:49,840 --> 01:13:53,960 Hi, I'm Alice Harbinson from Hampstead, London, reading drama. 1042 01:13:53,960 --> 01:13:57,640 I'm Brian Jackson from Southend in Essex, reading English literature. 1043 01:13:57,640 --> 01:14:00,120 Team captain? Patrick Watts, Ashton-under-Lyne, 1044 01:14:00,120 --> 01:14:02,520 post graduate in mechanical engineering. 1045 01:14:02,520 --> 01:14:05,400 And I'm Lucy Chang from Minneapolis reading medicine. 1046 01:14:07,960 --> 01:14:11,120 Without further ado, here's your first starter for ten. 1047 01:14:11,120 --> 01:14:13,120 Listen carefully before you buzz. 1048 01:14:13,120 --> 01:14:15,200 For a straight line graph of y against x 1049 01:14:15,200 --> 01:14:17,360 where the gradient is 2 and the y intercept is 5, 1050 01:14:17,360 --> 01:14:21,520 what is the value of y when x is 10? (BUZZ) Salmon, Queens! 25. Correct. 1051 01:14:21,520 --> 01:14:25,080 Ten points. Queens have three bonus questions on electron microscopy. 1052 01:14:28,160 --> 01:14:31,000 What was identified by Hegel as the tendency of a concept 1053 01:14:31,000 --> 01:14:35,640 to pass into its own negation as a result of- (BUZZ) Watts, Bristol! 1054 01:14:38,480 --> 01:14:41,800 Sorry. I don't know the answer. I'm afraid you lose five points. 1055 01:14:41,800 --> 01:14:44,680 (BUZZ) Salmon, Queens! Is it dialectic? Dialectics, indeed! 1056 01:14:49,720 --> 01:14:51,720 Chang, Bristol! The adrenal gland! 1057 01:14:51,720 --> 01:14:54,880 Is correct, and you've three bonus questions on geography. 1058 01:14:54,880 --> 01:14:59,280 African country with both Atlantic and Mediterranean coastlines? 1059 01:15:03,120 --> 01:15:05,480 Help me here. Is it Morocco? Have to hurry you. Algeria. 1060 01:15:05,480 --> 01:15:07,640 Algeria? No, I'm afraid it's Morocco. 1061 01:15:12,560 --> 01:15:15,040 Now, look at your monitors. 1062 01:15:15,040 --> 01:15:17,040 (BUZZ) Watts, Bristol! 1063 01:15:17,040 --> 01:15:19,880 Durham cathedral! No, I'm afraid that's incorrect. 1064 01:15:19,880 --> 01:15:21,880 (BUZZ) Sykes, Queens! 1065 01:15:21,880 --> 01:15:24,000 York Minster? Is the correct answer. 1066 01:15:24,000 --> 01:15:26,480 (BUZZ) De Havilland, Queens. 1067 01:15:24,000 --> 01:15:26,480 Calcium carbonate. Incorrect. 1068 01:15:26,480 --> 01:15:28,480 I'm afraid you lose five points. 1069 01:15:28,480 --> 01:15:32,000 (BUZZ) Jackson, Bristol! Calcium sulphate? Is correct! 1070 01:15:35,720 --> 01:15:41,760 (It's the Orestia by Aeschylus.) The Orestia by Aeschylus? Correct. 1071 01:15:41,760 --> 01:15:44,480 (Euclidian algorithm.) The Euclidian algorithm. Correct. 1072 01:15:44,480 --> 01:15:49,120 (Honi soit qui mal y pense.) Honi soit qui mal y pense. Correct. 1073 01:15:50,360 --> 01:15:52,400 (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS) 1074 01:15:56,920 --> 01:16:00,440 (BUZZ) Salmon. Queens. The overture from Mozart's Cosi Fan Tutte. 1075 01:16:00,440 --> 01:16:02,960 (APPLAUSE) 1076 01:16:02,960 --> 01:16:04,120 (BUZZ) The mucus membrane. 1077 01:16:04,120 --> 01:16:06,600 (BUZZ) Oxidisation. (BUZZ) The Siege of Krishnapur. 1078 01:16:06,600 --> 01:16:10,640 (BUZZ) Is it an oxbow lake? It is indeed an oxbow lake! 1079 01:16:10,640 --> 01:16:12,560 (CHEERING / APPLAUSE) 1080 01:16:12,560 --> 01:16:14,400 (Let's just go home.) 1081 01:16:14,400 --> 01:16:18,640 There may just be time to catch up. A starter for ten. 1082 01:16:18,640 --> 01:16:23,360 Derived from the Greek words for wing and finger, what is the genus- 1083 01:16:23,360 --> 01:16:25,520 (BUZZ) Jackson, Bristol. 1084 01:16:23,360 --> 01:16:25,520 Pterodactyl. Is correct. 1085 01:16:30,760 --> 01:16:32,760 Schlemm canal. 1086 01:16:32,760 --> 01:16:35,560 The ora serrata. 1087 01:16:35,560 --> 01:16:38,400 And... is it the fovea centralus? 1088 01:16:38,400 --> 01:16:40,440 It is indeed! 1089 01:16:41,720 --> 01:16:45,480 Which American poet and Fulbright scholar- (BUZZ) Harbinson, Bristol! 1090 01:16:45,480 --> 01:16:47,440 Sylvia Plath. Sylvia Plath is correct. 1091 01:16:47,440 --> 01:16:50,800 Three more questions for you on quotations from Shakespeare. 1092 01:16:50,800 --> 01:16:52,840 Twelfth Night. Twelfth Night. Correct. 1093 01:16:53,800 --> 01:16:56,160 Much Ado. Much Ado About Nothing. Correct. 1094 01:16:56,160 --> 01:16:58,680 Henry IV. Henry V. Which is it? 1095 01:17:00,040 --> 01:17:02,160 Come on. Um, go with Brian. 1096 01:17:02,160 --> 01:17:05,800 Is the answer King Henry V? Is the correct answer! 1097 01:17:07,520 --> 01:17:11,000 (BUZZ) Jackson, Bristol! The battleship Potemkin. Correct. 1098 01:17:11,000 --> 01:17:13,840 (BUZZ) Jackson, Bristol! The Treaty of Versailles. Correct. 1099 01:17:13,840 --> 01:17:15,840 (BUZZ) Watts, Bristol! 1100 01:17:15,840 --> 01:17:19,400 It's a form of fungal infection. Is the correct answer. 1101 01:17:21,480 --> 01:17:23,520 (BUZZ) Jackson, Bristol. Electroluminescence. 1102 01:17:25,080 --> 01:17:27,120 Candoluminescence. 1103 01:17:31,360 --> 01:17:33,000 Luminescence. 1104 01:17:33,000 --> 01:17:35,040 Phosphorescence. 1105 01:17:36,320 --> 01:17:39,240 Come on... Incandescence! 1106 01:17:39,240 --> 01:17:41,360 All correct! An amazing recovery there! 1107 01:17:41,360 --> 01:17:47,400 All to play for. Just five points behind and one minute on the clock. 1108 01:17:47,400 --> 01:17:50,200 For 10 points a question on astronomy. (BUZZ) Jackson, Bristol! 1109 01:17:50,200 --> 01:17:52,360 Ursa major or The Great Bear. 1110 01:18:00,200 --> 01:18:03,160 (GONG!) 1111 01:18:03,160 --> 01:18:05,800 The Big Dipper? 1112 01:18:05,800 --> 01:18:10,680 Well,... rather amazingly, that... is the correct answer, so... 1113 01:18:10,680 --> 01:18:13,720 I think perhaps we'd best stop recording. 1114 01:18:13,720 --> 01:18:15,760 (BUZZ OF CHATTER) 1115 01:18:16,800 --> 01:18:18,920 What just happened? I don't know. 1116 01:18:18,920 --> 01:18:20,720 Does anyone know what the hell just happened? 1117 01:18:20,720 --> 01:18:23,560 Does anybody know how he knew the answer 1118 01:18:23,560 --> 01:18:26,760 when I didn't even ask him the bloody question? 1119 01:18:36,600 --> 01:18:39,600 (SHOUTING FROM STUDIO) 1120 01:18:39,600 --> 01:18:42,680 # TEARS FOR FEARS - "Ideas as Opiates" 1121 01:18:48,200 --> 01:18:50,200 # Say what you want 1122 01:18:50,200 --> 01:18:52,800 # Say what you want 1123 01:18:52,800 --> 01:18:54,840 # Say what you will 1124 01:18:59,000 --> 01:19:01,680 # Say what you want 1125 01:19:01,680 --> 01:19:03,800 # Say what you want 1126 01:19:03,800 --> 01:19:05,840 # Say what you will 1127 01:19:09,560 --> 01:19:11,720 # Cos I find you think... 1128 01:19:14,440 --> 01:19:18,600 Can we just get going, please?! # ..what makes it easier 1129 01:19:18,600 --> 01:19:21,760 (ENGINE STARTS / JINGLE BLARES OUT) 1130 01:19:31,880 --> 01:19:34,280 # Say what you want 1131 01:19:34,280 --> 01:19:36,280 # Say what you want 1132 01:19:36,280 --> 01:19:37,760 # Say what you will 1133 01:19:39,640 --> 01:19:41,560 Brian? 1134 01:19:42,480 --> 01:19:44,680 We'll laugh about it some day. 1135 01:19:44,680 --> 01:19:47,360 # Say what you want 1136 01:19:47,360 --> 01:19:49,400 # Say what you will 1137 01:19:52,760 --> 01:19:55,280 # Cos I find 1138 01:19:57,120 --> 01:20:03,440 # ..you think what makes it easier... # 1139 01:20:05,920 --> 01:20:10,360 (PHONE RINGING) 1140 01:20:16,440 --> 01:20:19,360 Hello. 1141 01:20:19,360 --> 01:20:21,520 I'll just see if he's here. 1142 01:20:25,680 --> 01:20:29,360 No, I'm sorry. I'll tell him you called. 1143 01:20:29,360 --> 01:20:31,400 Bye. 1144 01:20:33,800 --> 01:20:37,440 I dunno why you won't talk to her. You know why not. 1145 01:20:37,440 --> 01:20:40,360 I made a complete idiot of myself. No, you didn't! 1146 01:20:40,360 --> 01:20:42,360 Mum, you were there, remember? 1147 01:20:42,360 --> 01:20:45,520 Alright, you made a prat of yourself. Thanks, Mum. 1148 01:20:45,520 --> 01:20:49,760 Look, Brian, the people who really care about you don't mind mistakes. 1149 01:20:49,760 --> 01:20:53,160 It's what you do next that matters. 1150 01:20:53,160 --> 01:20:58,640 And if you can't see that, you're not as smart as I thought you were. 1151 01:21:06,360 --> 01:21:09,680 (THE SMITHS) # Haven't had a dream in a long time 1152 01:21:11,600 --> 01:21:13,800 # See, the life I've had 1153 01:21:13,800 --> 01:21:16,880 # ..would make a good man bad 1154 01:21:18,920 --> 01:21:22,880 # So, for once in my life 1155 01:21:22,880 --> 01:21:26,920 # Let me get what I want 1156 01:21:26,920 --> 01:21:30,120 # Lord knows, it would be the first time 1157 01:21:32,320 --> 01:21:34,320 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 1158 01:21:34,320 --> 01:21:37,600 # Lord knows, it would be the first time 1159 01:21:37,600 --> 01:21:40,200 There's someone here to see you. 1160 01:21:41,840 --> 01:21:43,840 I can't, Mum. 1161 01:21:43,840 --> 01:21:48,080 Brian, you've been moping around for weeks and I'm not having it. 1162 01:21:48,080 --> 01:21:52,000 There's been far too much of that already in this house. 1163 01:21:53,320 --> 01:21:57,280 It's Spencer. I'm not gonna tell him to go away. 1164 01:22:03,120 --> 01:22:06,120 Never thought I'd see you in a suit. 1165 01:22:06,120 --> 01:22:10,040 The magistrate liked it. She only gave me six months probation. 1166 01:22:15,320 --> 01:22:18,760 Hiding in a wardrobe, Spence. It... 1167 01:22:21,080 --> 01:22:25,720 It's not funny! Maybe you weren't so perfect yourself, mate. 1168 01:22:25,720 --> 01:22:27,760 I suppose not. 1169 01:22:32,480 --> 01:22:36,360 Look, what are you still doing here? What do you mean? 1170 01:22:36,360 --> 01:22:40,280 Why haven't you gone back yet? I've gone off the idea. 1171 01:22:42,480 --> 01:22:47,760 Besides, it's only a waste of time. How can it be a waste of time? 1172 01:22:47,760 --> 01:22:51,960 You've changed your tune! It's a waste of time for someone like me. 1173 01:22:51,960 --> 01:22:54,360 But you... you love it. 1174 01:22:54,360 --> 01:22:58,960 Maybe I'm not as clever as I thought I was. Course you're clever. 1175 01:22:58,960 --> 01:23:04,000 It's just every now and then you do some stupid things, that's all. 1176 01:23:08,840 --> 01:23:10,880 I got you this. 1177 01:23:14,400 --> 01:23:16,400 Thanks, Spence. 1178 01:23:16,400 --> 01:23:18,560 Cheers! It's only a tape, Bri. 1179 01:23:19,560 --> 01:23:22,440 No need to get all gay about it. 1180 01:23:25,280 --> 01:23:27,320 I'll see you soon, yeah? 1181 01:24:06,360 --> 01:24:09,200 Do you need more towels? Got towels, Mum. 1182 01:24:09,200 --> 01:24:12,440 Bread? Sugar? Bag of potatoes? 1183 01:24:14,560 --> 01:24:16,760 I'm fine, Mum. 1184 01:24:16,760 --> 01:24:18,800 Uh, see you, Des. 1185 01:24:20,720 --> 01:24:23,600 I'll see you, Bri. 1186 01:24:23,600 --> 01:24:25,200 Right. 1187 01:24:25,200 --> 01:24:27,240 Brian? Yeah? 1188 01:24:28,720 --> 01:24:31,320 Don't take this the wrong way. 1189 01:24:31,320 --> 01:24:34,400 But I'm really glad to see the back of you. 1190 01:24:40,320 --> 01:24:42,520 Remember! Fresh fruit! 1191 01:24:49,320 --> 01:24:53,800 'I admit it. I've made some mistakes.' 1192 01:24:53,800 --> 01:24:57,240 'OK, some BIG mistakes. Loads of them.' 1193 01:24:57,240 --> 01:25:01,480 'But you can't hide in your room forever feeling sorry for yourself.' 1194 01:25:01,480 --> 01:25:04,120 'It's not practical.' 1195 01:25:04,120 --> 01:25:08,280 'At some point you've got to get out, face up to things, 1196 01:25:08,280 --> 01:25:09,760 and confront your demons.' 1197 01:25:09,760 --> 01:25:15,680 Well, well...! Mr Jackson. Could this possibly mean you're back? 1198 01:25:15,680 --> 01:25:18,200 Uh... Yes, if... 1199 01:25:19,280 --> 01:25:22,760 So, we'll see you tomorrow then. 1200 01:25:24,120 --> 01:25:26,160 Thank you, Doctor. 1201 01:25:31,160 --> 01:25:34,680 'And, yes, I've made some bad choices, lost my head, 1202 01:25:34,680 --> 01:25:38,120 let people down, people I care for.' 1203 01:25:38,120 --> 01:25:41,120 'But there still might be time to get something right.' 1204 01:25:43,440 --> 01:25:45,240 You came back...! 1205 01:25:45,240 --> 01:25:48,320 Oh, I'm so glad you came back! 1206 01:25:49,280 --> 01:25:53,520 Now, listen, you mustn't worry about what people are gonna say. OK? 1207 01:25:53,520 --> 01:25:57,960 You made a mistake but- If I can just stop you there, Alice. Sorry. 1208 01:25:57,960 --> 01:26:00,000 I'm looking for someone else. 1209 01:26:03,600 --> 01:26:07,120 'Every since I can remember, I've wanted to be clever.' 1210 01:26:07,120 --> 01:26:11,320 'Some people are born clever, same way some people are born beautiful.' 1211 01:26:11,320 --> 01:26:15,520 'I'm not one of them. I'll have to work at it, put in the effort.' 1212 01:26:15,520 --> 01:26:18,440 'And if I mess it up, I'll learn from it.' 1213 01:26:18,440 --> 01:26:22,160 'Besides, sometimes it's not about knowing the right answer, 1214 01:26:22,160 --> 01:26:24,920 sometimes it's about asking the right question.' 1215 01:26:24,920 --> 01:26:29,480 We want the money spent on nuclear weapons put into the health system, 1216 01:26:29,480 --> 01:26:31,480 into nurseries and schools, 1217 01:26:31,480 --> 01:26:33,520 and our universities. 1218 01:26:34,680 --> 01:26:36,760 What do we want? (CROWD) Nukes out! 1219 01:26:36,760 --> 01:26:40,360 When do we want it? Now! What do we want? Nukes out! 1220 01:26:40,360 --> 01:26:41,760 When do we want it? Now! 1221 01:26:41,760 --> 01:26:45,720 What do we want? Nukes out! When do we want it? Now! 1222 01:26:45,720 --> 01:26:49,640 What do we want? Nukes out! When do we want it? Now! 1223 01:26:49,640 --> 01:26:54,200 What do we want? Nukes out! When do we want it? Now! 1224 01:26:54,200 --> 01:26:55,640 Hello. 1225 01:26:55,640 --> 01:26:58,080 Hello. 1226 01:26:58,080 --> 01:27:03,200 Do you think we could talk? Somewhere a bit less... angry? 1227 01:27:03,200 --> 01:27:05,200 Alright. 1228 01:27:05,200 --> 01:27:06,400 Yeah. 1229 01:27:10,960 --> 01:27:15,400 You've got a nerve, Brian Jackson. Not answering my phone calls. 1230 01:27:15,400 --> 01:27:17,520 Look, I know. And I'm sorry. 1231 01:27:17,520 --> 01:27:21,760 I wanted to. I just needed time to make sense of everything. 1232 01:27:21,760 --> 01:27:26,800 I see. So does everything make sense now? Almost. 1233 01:27:26,800 --> 01:27:29,680 I just need to ask you one question. 1234 01:27:31,360 --> 01:27:33,360 OK. One question. 1235 01:27:33,360 --> 01:27:35,000 Ten points. 1236 01:27:37,200 --> 01:27:39,840 Do you think you could forgive me? 1237 01:27:39,840 --> 01:27:41,840 For all the mistakes? 1238 01:27:41,840 --> 01:27:44,720 All the wrong answers... and stupid remarks. 1239 01:27:52,480 --> 01:27:55,440 Brian, you already know the answer. 1240 01:28:44,280 --> 01:28:47,320 # THE CURE - "Love Song" 1241 01:29:11,440 --> 01:29:14,480 # Whenever I'm alone with you 1242 01:29:17,920 --> 01:29:22,000 # You make me feel like I am home again 1243 01:29:24,680 --> 01:29:27,760 # Whenever I'm alone with you 1244 01:29:31,040 --> 01:29:35,160 # You make me feel like I am whole again 1245 01:29:50,360 --> 01:29:53,640 # Whenever I'm alone with you 1246 01:29:57,000 --> 01:30:00,160 # However far away 1247 01:30:01,120 --> 01:30:03,800 # I will always love you 1248 01:30:03,800 --> 01:30:05,840 # However long I stay 1249 01:30:07,680 --> 01:30:10,520 # I will always love you 1250 01:30:10,520 --> 01:30:12,560 # Whatever words I say 1251 01:30:14,280 --> 01:30:16,440 # I will always love you 1252 01:30:17,480 --> 01:30:19,640 # I will always love you... #